A beautiful mess
by ThatDayDreamer-x
Summary: She was ripped from him to protect her, to protect her from what they didn't understand, but in reality, the one thing they didn't understand was the one thing that could actually protect her, save her. It's been 16 empty years since Claire was taken from her family in La Push, but does she have the strength to fight the binds of her parents and find the place she truly belongs?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Twilight**

I remember the day she was taken from me as if I lived it every day since, the pain I felt still so fresh within every inch of my body. The coldness that sweeps through me still carrying the aching memory of her screams as her parent's car tore down the road. I had stopped truly living that day, the day my only reason for living was ripped from me. I was a shell of a person. Unable to go anywhere, do anything or be anyone. Stuck, in a painful stir of memories that got harder to relive with each long day that passed. It had been 16 years since Claire was taken from me, but it feels like so much longer.

"_Qwil, I bet you can't find me if I hide" Claire's angelic little squeak of a voice flew through Emily's small house. _

"_Oh I bet I couldn't my little bear" I grinned at her as she ran off toward the kitchen. _

"_Count to ten Qwil" She screeched as I stayed stood on the porch out front. _

"_ONE TWO THREE" I started overdramatically counting as I listened to her little footsteps pattering around inside. _

_I turned to walk inside, her loud breaths already telling me where she was, but I got halted by the sound of a car screeching to a stop behind me, followed by another halted screech. _

"_Amy, you don't understand, it isn't like that, you can't take her from us please" Emily's usually calm voice screamed from behind me, she sounded desperate. _

_I turned quickly, Claires parents were running toward the house, her dad stopped and glared at me as Emily started trying to pull Amy back. _

"_You sick perverted boy" Her dad, started towards me and Sam flew from the trees behind him being followed by Jacob and Paul. _

"_Simon, I can promise you, it's not like that" Sam bellowed as he reached him, holding him back from me. _

_What was going on? Amy charged right past me, screeching for Claire to come out. _

"_What's going on?" I managed to mumble out as I watched Amy storm around inside, looking for my Claire, she was under the table, I could still hear her under there. _

"_Claire come on, daddy is taking us on a trip" Amy's voice softened as she coaxed her daughter out, my heart stopped, a trip, they were going away? _

"_Where mommy?" Claire's little patter of feet came running out toward the front door and Amy scooped her up. _

"_Just somewhere different, you will love it" She spoke softly but it was rushed she dodged past me, sprinting down toward Simon. _

"_Is Qwil coming too?" Claire looked over for me, her big brown eyes smiling for me. _

_My heart ached, they were taking her from me? For how long, I needed to be around her. _

"_No he isn't" Simon barked as he turned storming for his car. _

"_Amy, do not do this, you don't understand it, please" Emily pleaded again, reaching for little Claire. _

"_No, I do understand, you are all freaks. She is never coming here again, you will never hear off us again, she is nothing to you and you are nothing to her" Amy pulled away from Emily's outstretched hands as her venomous words cut through me. _

_Never? They were taking her. _

_My body lurched forward, stumbling toward the car. Amy looked over at me, she was angry, enraged would be a better word. _

"_You stay away from her" Her voice shook slightly but she was still yelling. _

"_Mommy when will I see Qwil again?" Claire's fumbled words echoed through me, stopping me just centimetres from them. _

"_You're not, sorry honey, but you won't see Quil anymore" Amy threw open the car door, placing Claire in her car seat. That's when the screams started, the long distraught screams of my imprint. _

"_QWILL QWILLL" she kept screaming, each one running through my heart like a ragged blade, cutting me in the worst way. _

_I had never felt so much pain as I did right now, my heart felt it was breaking. Amy jumped in the car and it started speeding away, I stumbled after it, but everything in me hurt to move as Claire's screams got louder to my ears. _

I jolted upright from my nightmare filled sleep; I had that very same nightmare every night for 16 years. The screams always tore through me, forcing me to wake up to the reality I didn't want to face. She was still gone.

My breathing was ragged; cold sweat poured down my body as sobs threatened to break through me. Every night I had to relive this. Every day I had to sit around, the pain being too unbearable to do anything.

I had tried to find her, I had done everything to find her, but I couldn't, it was like my little Claire didn't even exist anymore.

**Let me know whether I should carry on or not :D **

**Basically a story about Claire being taken from Quil, what happens to her along the way and whether they can save each other :D So yeah, let me know if I should carry on or not PLEASE :D xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Before you read, I just want to say a massive thank you for my first reviewers, followers, faves etc :D you are amazing. And also, before you get depressed, this isn't going to be a depressive story about death, this chapter may be slightly depressing etc, but the whole story wont be like this, it will get lighter and less gloomy, I just needed to fill you all in on what's been happening to Claire over the 16 years of separation from Quil. The effects of a broken imprint I suppose :D So hang in there, I promise to make it less doom and gloom :D Keep reviewing and reading xxxx**

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_The screams, the little girl was screaming in my head, each cry hitting through my very core. My eyes were squeezed shut; I needed to stop the screaming. _

_The emptiness of my heart was overwhelming now, each scream tried cutting through me, but the empty and lost feeling I lived with every day of my life was fighting back. Pushing me to insanity. I needed to end it. I needed to be free. To be better. _

_I dug further into my wrist, praying for any kind of pain to hit me. None did. _

_I couldn't even feel the pain I knew was supposed to be shooting through me as I tried so hard to end the constant emptiness of my existence. _

"_Claire, no HELP SIMON HELP ME OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE" A desperate female cried out behind me, my mom. _

_My eyes stayed squeezed shut as her cried echoed around my room, that should hurt too, hearing your mom scream like that. But it didn't. _

_Her small arms enclosed around my waist pulling me to the floor. _

"_What's happened" My dad's frantic voice appeared, followed by his own distraught yell. _

_More hands grabbed at me, yanking my arms away from one another, forcing my chosen weapon from my hands. _

"_NOOOOO NOOO GET OFF ME I WANT TO DIE I WANT TO DIE" _

_I screamed, pleading as they continued holding me tightly, blood poured from me as I began slipping into an unconscious state. Still, there was no pain. _

_The buzz of voices drowned out and I felt myself fall into the haunted dreams I tried so hard to end._

* * *

_..._

My fingers travelled over my wrists, the memory of that day haunting me still.

The water pelted over my cold skin, the highest temperature it could go, my skin was turning red underneath it, but the feeling never reached me, the scorching feeling that was supposed to be there never hurt me. Everything was cold to me, I had never felt warm, never felt the warmth of the sun against my naturally olive tanned skin. Even if we were on vacation, on a beach in burning heat, I would have a blanket wrapped around me.

Today was going to be just like any other day, and my body had its usual emptiness about it. Like something was always missing from my life, something I felt I couldn't live without but was being forced to.

The all too familiar ache ran through me, tugging at my heart, it felt broken, I felt broken and torn. Like part of me was missing, as if my insides were being ripped from within me. I had battled through the depression, battled through anorexia, battled through the endless doctors who poked needles in me, trying to find the source of the unexplainable pain that shot through my heart like a thousand knives. But no one ever found it, the real source of the pain, the empty pain that filled me, they would find something, act on it but then the heart ache I lived with each day of my life and the coldness would still be there, it was as if I lived in a freezer, never feeling the heat or warmth of anything. Even a radiator on full blast was cold to me. It was the hardest battle I had. I didn't know what the pain was, or why I felt that way.

I had been through so many failed treatments, chemotherapy, they couldn't find cancer, but they would try it anyway, it just made me sicker. Then there was the misdiagnosis of organ failure when I was 10, then lupus when I was 12, then it was cancer again for my middle teen years, then autoimmune disease. Finally, they landed on depression which was when I hit my all time low, when I tried ending it all. All of which, treatments failed to cure my unstoppable pain, the tiredness, the sickness, the weight loss, the weakness within me.

I turned, exiting my bathroom, my mom was on my bed, smiling at me as I walked into my room. At 19 years old, I was still being watched like a hawk, as if I was about to break down again, all because I was still in unexplainable pain, and I could still be found crying and screaming for no reason, the only explanation was the eyes and screams that haunted my dreams.

The eyes, so loving and gentle, deep and meaningful, but they scared me; they changed, from loving to broken so suddenly it hurt me. So broken they looked dead. Then the screams would start. The uncontrollable screams of a child, pleading out for someone. But that someone never came.

"Morning honey" Her soft voice cooed at me as I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around me.

"Morning" My flat voice replied, it was always flat.

"Come down for a family breakfast" She stood up, patting me softly on the arm as she walked past me and out of my small room.

A family breakfast, as always on the mornings before my monthly checkups with my doctor.

I walked out behind her, following her as she ran softly downstairs.

I sat next to Max, my baby brother, I say baby, but he's 18, only a year younger than me.

"Morning stink" He smiled at me and I smiled back, he was the light in my life, he kept it light and happy when I was feeling my worst. He never pretended everything was fine, he often made jokes about my strange ways to lighten the mood.

"Morning" My voice peaked a little as I talked to him, actual emotion ran through it.

"So, Max is taking you today baby, your father and I have to work" My mom sang happily from the kitchen, it was fake happiness, she wore the same fake happiness for as long as I could remember.

I nodded as I slowly chewed on dry toast. My dad's awkward smiles not even stirring a greeting from me.

The rest of breakfast was silent, it always was. Everyone was expecting the worse, but I knew what was coming, more confusion, and more unanswered questions.

* * *

The overpowering scent of antiseptic wipes washed over me as I made my way slowly to the receptionist of the San Francisco Hospital. I had spent more time here than I had anywhere else.

"Claire, it is so good to see you, you are looking great" Jane, the receptionist to my doctor looked up at me, a big smile planted on her beautifully aging face. Her silvering hair glistened in the overly bright lights above us.

"Hey Jane, thank you" I replied, trying to at least fake a smile for the woman who was always so pleasant to me.

"Here to see ?" She eyed me up and grinned again.

I nodded as she handed me my pass card, motioning for my brother to sit in the waiting area. I hurried on down the hall to Shay's office; he was my doctor, we got on to first name basis's back when I was around 11. He had stuck with me through it all.

I knocked his door, although why I bothered knocking anymore was beyond me, he always made sure he was free an hour before and after our appointments, just in case.

The door flew open and a breeze of rose scented air hit me, his aging face beamed at me from the door as I took in the array of bright colours he was wearing. Bright green shirt, he always wore happy colours. Said it brought a bit of happiness to such a dull place.

"Hey Claire, come on in" He held the door open as I walked in, the scent of roses over powering me. He had two huge bunches sat on his windowsill, probably from his wife.

I sat down on the sofa as he sat in a chair opposite, flicking through my notes from our last meeting and results from my tests I had done last week. The chest pain had got worse, but a lot worse, like I was actually having heart attacks.

The nurse was here, Sarah, my nurse from my rehab centre, she smiled at me as I sat down, she didn't always come, just every now and then.

"How have you been?" He took in my appearance and wrote something down.

"Shit, let's face it Shay, we both know nothing's changed" His face dropped as I said it, a disappointed frown appeared on his forehead and he shook his head.

"They also had to up my dosage of pain killers; I should be overdosing on the amount of shit going in my body. And the pain is still as constant as ever, the nightmares are still there no matter how many sedatives I take before bed and the antidepressants I am still on, are making me no happier than I would be if I was off them. So why are we still going through the motions, why can't you all just let me be. Enough poking with needles, enough failed treatments, enough of it all"

I didn't understand why I was forced to take so many tablets when none of it worked, none of it helped me.

"Claire, we have found something" My heart fell with each word he spoke. Found something. I had never heard those words from his mouth. He never told me that unless he was certain.

"You what?" I mumbled, my whole body began shaking.

"Your tests, the blood and examinations we did last week. We think, we are certain it could be heart disease, your heart seems to be failing, and not just your heart, your lungs seem to be joining in too. We think you're going into system wide organ failure" His eyes shot down to his lap, not meeting mine.

I gulped, looking at Sarah, her eyes were glistening with tears.

"What do you mean, I have been like this for years, it would have been found sooner surely" It couldn't right, I had been this way for as long as I remember.

"I know, I said that too, but I looked at the results Claire, it seems correct, everything is pointing in the direction of heart and lung failure. Your pains have been getting worse, your tiredness is worse; you're weaker than I have ever seen you. Normally I would say bullshit to it all, I know you Claire, I have known you for years and I know that every time we get close to something, it goes out the window, you have never made any sense to me, every time I find a reason behind it all, I act and your body rejects it. But this is for real, it's advanced, as far as we can tell its late stages, we don't understand why we didn't catch it before" He stopped, pausing to look at me as I sat frozen in shock.

"There is a clinic we can send you to, a few months of heavy treatment, I don't know if it will help but it's worth a shot" He started fumbling with sheets of paper, throwing them on the table in front of me.

My mind was a mess, I didn't want more treatments, more painful treatments that made me sicker and still didn't work.

"Is there a chance it would work?" I looked at him, he dropped his gaze again.

"fifty fifty, could make you worse, could give you longer, we don't know, you never follow standard protocol Claire, you're too unique and strange for us to even try to piece together if it would work" He looked back at me, his eyes were glazed with emotion, rule number one of doctors, don't get attached, but it was safe to say Shay Edmunds was 100% attached to me.

"I don't want it, I don't want treatment" My voice broke slightly as the usual pain filled me again, emptiness hit my heart like a ton of bricks and my body crumbled internally.

"Lift up your hands for me" Sarah snapped slightly as she listened to us, her own eyes swimming with tears now.

I lifted both my arms up and she pointed to my left wrist.

"What does that say" She pointed to my left arm.

"Strength" she knew what it said.

"And that one" Pointing to my right.

"Hope, with a little bird for freedom" I didn't understand what she was getting at.

"Yes, hope and strength and a bird for freedom, I know, I went with you to get them. They aren't just there to hide scars Claire; they are there to remind you. Everyone around you has hope, hope that one day we will fix this, and fix you. And you know that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for, stop giving up so easily, please, we have slight chance here, take it" Her voice was stern, her blue eyes fixed solidly on mine.

"I am tired" I slipped it out as my body ached against my protests to stay awake.

"What you aren't sleeping?" Her face crumbled in worry as she checked over my dosage notes, I was on sleeping pills, they were supposed to knock me out each night, which they did.

"Yes, well, as much as I can with the nightmares still haunting me. But I mean, I am tired, in myself, I feel like a 90 year old. Everything feels tired, I can barely walk without my legs shaking from pain, I can barely talk without my words sounding slurred from the lack of energy. I just, I'm tired, I'm weak, I feel lost and broken. I have no more energy to fight, I fought all I could, I fought the depression, I fought everything else that was chucked at me, but I can't fight anymore. The treatments never work; I just want to be free, truly free from all the pain"

Her blue eyes shone with unshed tears as she listened to each broken word fall from my mouth. She wished she could help, other patients were simple, they were depressed, or they weren't, they were ill or they weren't. I didn't fall into either category, I was much worse.

"Maybe you need a break, a break from this, from your appointments, from your counsellors, your parents. From everything. Do you have family you can go stay with?" She blinked back her tears, trying to get professional again. She could never stay professional with me, I was her first patient after she graduated, the first ones are always the ones who get to you the most.

Family? I thought about it, did I? I knew nothing about my childhood. Just that my mom had a huge fight with her sister, Emily, and we left. Never heard off them again, and as far as I know, mom never tried to contact them.

"Maybe" I replied, maybe I could find some family, maybe they were the miracle answer to my problems. Like a fairytale, my messed up existence would be saved by a knight in shining armour in a far away kingdom with my long lost family.

Who was I kidding, mom left them because she said Emily was nuts. They were probably were I got my lunacy from.

"I don't want more treatments" I said it defiantly as they both stared at me.

"Go for a break, cancel your appointments, and take time to find yourself. Be yourself, be free, be the damned bird you have on your wrist and fly away, but don't say that, do some thinking, but don't take too long" She wiped the flow of tears from her cheeks as she looked over at me, her eyes swimming with grief already.

* * *

"Seems a bit dodgy doesn't it" Max's flat voice spoke out as we drove back toward our house.

I had told him everything, he hadn't cried, just drove slowly, his head leant back against his headrest.

"What does?" I frowned at him as he chuckled slightly.

"This, the situation. You've lived like this for what, 16 years now, and never has the word terminal or death come into it. But now, after everything, after you battled through all of it, you're dying from heart failure. You even failed in topping yourself off, but one little test and it's all over. Done, bye bye Claire, talk about anticlimactic" He glanced at me, his eyes swimming with tears now, but he smiled trying to see the light of the situation.

I didn't say anything back, just mulled over everything in my head. I needed to get away. I couldn't let my family see me go through this.

I needed somewhere peaceful. I needed to go home.

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**I do not own Twilight**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ohhhhh keep reviewing people, you all reviewed the first one, but I still don't know whether to carry on or if people will read this, so please follow so I know you are, or review or something please ? :D I have written a few chapters so I might just post them all up, to try get more interest, but you have to let me know if I should ! **

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"No, Claire you are taking the treatment, even if it gives you only a month more you are taking it" My mom's cries came across the cold kitchen, her tears running down her older face.

All the stress from my illness's had made her age before her time, she was only 40, but she looked older, stressed, sad, she looked like she had been through a lot. I suppose she had. Slowly losing a child and not understanding why it was happening had to be hard.

"Mom, I don't want it, I have been fighting my whole life, fighting something I don't understand. I need to be in control for once. I need to control the thing that has controlled me for so long. I won't put myself or you guys through it anymore. I just won't do that" My own voice broke as my dad and mom sobbed uncontrollably around me. Max stayed silent, watching the scene unfold.

"So you want us to go through losing you? Because it would be so much better for us? I almost lost you once and it killed me, I won't go through it again" My dad cried now, getting closer to me.

"If it doesn't happen now, it will happen again, and again until my body gets what it so obviously wants" I pleaded, I couldn't go through this all again. I wanted peace.

"You are asking me to sit and watch my daughter die, I cannot do that Claire, I just can't" My mom cried more as she clung to my dad's arm.

"I'm asking no such thing, I said I wasn't going to treatment, I never said I was staying here" My own throat closed over, my heart was empty as always as pain clutched at my aching body. I was tired again, my whole body felt ready to crumble.

"What?"

"I want to go away, somewhere peaceful, where I can rest, truly rest. I want to find somewhere that feels like home" I had no idea where this place was, but I needed to find it. San Francisco wasn't it.

"Home" My mom copied me, her eyes seemed to widen as she looked at my dad.

"Where is home? Where am I from? You never tell us anything about our lives before we moved here" I spoke softer, trying to not upset them more.

"That place is not your home, it isn't safe. You are staying here, with us. We are your family damn it Claire" My dad roared, slightly angry.

"We are not giving up, you are our daughter. You can't expect us to hand you over to people you don't even know because you think it will be easier to die than to fight" He yelled again before storming from the room, leaving my mom clinging to the kitchen counter for support.

My heart was tugging, a feeling swept over me, longing, I longed to go home, longed to meet the people I knew nothing about, the first time my empty heart ever felt something, and it was for people I had never met.

"Mom please, I feel, in here, for the first time ever, I actually feel like I need to go home" I stared at her, her eyes tore from mine and she shook her head.

She flew from the room after my dad.

Max stayed silent from his place on the kitchen table. Tears rolled down his face. My body was about to give up. I felt myself go faint, swaying along with the room that blurred around me. My body fell into my brothers arms as the weakness within me took over, the pain that tore from my heart hitting every nerve within me.

* * *

"_You stay away from her" My mom's angry voice flew through me, fear gripped me, I couldn't stay away. _

"_Amy don't do this" A woman's voice was pleading. _

"_What's going on?" A soft, enticing males voice erupted, sending shivers down my spine, my heart tugged through the murmuring dream, tugging me toward the voice I had never heard before. _

_The dream was jumbled; people were shouting stuff all over the place, as if it was fragments of a memory. I tried pushing myself, trying to clear the dark cloud around it. But then the screams started again, the child's desperate screams. _

I bolted upright, sending a jolt of pain through my body. I gasped and fell back down as the pain rippled through my weakness.

I glanced around me, my clock read 10am. I had slept later than usual. The sun was beaming in through my windows and I winced at the brightness which caused a flash of pain to sear through my eyes.

The house was silent, more silent than I had heard it in a while.

I pushed my body upright, another roll of pain ran through my failing heart. Gripping my bedside table for support I stood up, stumbling toward my door and into the hallway. My body was fighting against me, begging me to lie down, but I wouldn't, I needed to find something, anything that told me where I was from, who I was before my messed up life began here in San Francisco, I knew I was from native backgrounds, just my skin told me that. But which tribe or where it was I had no idea.

I walked slowly to my parents room, they had a box, of old stuff that I was never allowed to see, I had found mom crying over it a few years back and she made me promise never to look for it. But now I couldn't stop myself.

After what felt to me like hours of stumbled walking I reached her closet, throwing myself to the floor with a painful thump I rooted around, boxes of pictures were piled in the bottom of the crammed wardrobe.

Baby pictures, wedding pictures, graduation pictures, and first days at school, home videos, medical records and La Push.

My heart stopped, La Push, it sounded so beautiful, so peaceful, and so familiar. I pulled the small shoe box toward me. I think I had heard of La Push before, lifting the lid of slowly dust fell into my lap, I blew it off and reached for the old contents of the small box.

A letter. It had handwriting I didn't recognise on, the address was an address in Washington, but it had a forwarded address on it too, the type the postal company put on when people move. The forwarding address was to somewhere in Nevada. I think we lived there, for a couple months when we were little.

I flicked open the old crumbling paper, scanning my eyes over the long letter.

_Amy, _

_I know I'm sending this to an address you no longer live at, but I am praying you have done a postal forwarding service and that you get to read this. _

_Please listen to us, please come back, you can't take her from us, from me, she's my niece. I would never let anything hurt her. My family would never hurt her, you need to understand that. We all love her so much. _

_Something's happening, he's becoming ill, we don't know why but we need to know Claire is ok. Please. _

_I got married; my surname is Uley now, the same address as before. Please write back, just let us know you are ok, and tell me where you are. _

_I miss you, I miss Claire. I need to know she is ok. _

_Please. _

_Emily _

I stared at the confusing message, who was ill? Why would they need to know I was ok? My head was buzzing, my heart was pulling at me, telling me to go there, and telling me this Emily could help. She was my aunt, I had heard about her from one of my dad's hate filled rants about her and her family.

I put my hand into the box again, pulling out a pile of pictures.

The first one was of me as a baby, being held by a woman, with three long scars down her face, she was still beautiful though, her happy smile full of life as she clung to me. We were on a beach, it was cloudy and rainy but she held me close to her, shielding my little body from the rain.

I turned it looking at the next picture. Me again, I was a toddler, surrounded by men, they were all laughing down at me, we were on the beach again, I was stood pointing to one of them, he had his back turned from the camera, but I was pointing and frowning at him as everyone laughed at us. I smiled, I looked cute, happy. The man with his back turned drew my attention, I needed to see his face.

I flicked through more of the pictures, they were near enough the same, me with loads of big guys, or me with the woman with the scars. The last one stopped me, I lingered on it, I was being thrown in the air by the guy, the guy who had his back turned in all the other photos, but in this photo I could see one side of his face. Familiarity washed over me, I knew him. I couldn't think of where I knew him but his face was so familiar, as if I had stared at him so many times before. I stared at it longer, pulling at my clouded memories trying to fill in the rest of the face. Trying to remember this man.

There was one more thing in the box, it looked like a bracelet. My small fingers brushed over the thin silver chain as I pulled it out from the dusty paper that surrounded it, a small wooden wolf charm was hanging from it, the chain was small, meant for a child. I had seen this, in the dreams. It was amongst the confused flashes of memories that I so often dreamt of. It was mine, when I was younger, this belonged to me.

It wouldn't fit now, it was tiny, but it was mine. I kept it scrunched in my cold hand as I packed the rest of the box away and stored the closet how it was before I began my rambling.

I turned, my mom's bedroom clock read 12pm, I had been sat here for nearly two hours trifling through the old pictures. I felt tired, a painful growl rolled through my stomach, I hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday, my body was aching for food, for some sort of energy.

Walking slowly down to the kitchen one name kept circling in my head, La Push, I knew that name, the place, even just saying it to myself made my body pain free for a slight moment, made everything in me feel peaceful and whole for that split second before the empty reality hit me again.

Emily Uley, La Push, I had to go, everything in me felt like I had to go.

Only one thing stood in my frail way. My parents, they would never agree.

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**I do not own Twilight**

**Remember to review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for your reviews, hopefully I will see more and more reviews and follows ;D Keep it up please it helps me to write more it really does ! xxxx**

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I stared, dead panned at my mom who was crying once again into her dinner. I hadn't mentioned the box I had found, I just asked to know more about my childhood. Even that was enough to set her off.

"Claire, we don't want to argue with you, so just give it a rest" My dad's raspy emotional voice filled the silence and everyone looked up at him.

"Dad, I can't stay here, I need to figure things out. Maybe if you let me go see them, then I would be able to feel like I had something left to fight for, had a big happy family that could help take the pain away" Instantly I knew I had said the wrong thing, everyone, even Max who was usually on my side, gave me glares.

"So we aren't good enough? You don't love us enough to fight, but you think people who barely know you, people who we have spent so much effort protecting you from could help save you? They are bad people Claire, what do you not understand about that?" My mom's angry yell out weighed her sobs and she glared at me as she stood, slamming dishes into the sink.

I thought back to the pictures, the letter, I had looked so happy around them, so at ease with this group of huge men. How were they dangerous? And the woman with scars, she had held me so tightly to her, lovingly. It didn't add up, the kind faces of the old pictures did not look like the evil people my parents made them out to be.

"No, I do love you guys, it's just, maybe a change of scenery would help me. You know, go back to where it all started, go back to where I am from. You never know, maybe I have a cousin going through the same thing, maybe it's genetic." I was pleading now, pulling at strings I knew wouldn't work but I still desperately tried.

They were always to over protective of me, I was never allowed out with friends, never allowed to go on dates, never allowed to learn to drive, never taught how to swim, I was just kept home, like a fragile little doll they were too scared to lose. But now they were losing me, and no amount of keeping me locked up would save me, I had to live my life, I had to do what I wanted to do for once but I knew I would have to do it without the help of my family. They would never willingly let me go.

"Where it all started" My mum started mumbling to herself in the kitchen as my dad stood from the table, slamming his knife and fork down before storming to the door.

"You are my daughter Claire, what I say goes. You will never be put in that danger again, you will never go back there to them disgusting people. And you will never see that damned boy again" He yelled, slamming his fist into the door frame before his heavy footsteps faded up the stairs.

What boy? Why were they dangerous? Nothing made sense, was it the boy from the picture? The one with his back turned? Had he hurt me? Was that why we left? All the questions running around inside my head started making me feel sick, nausea and a headache mixed together, sending my body into a sway of dizziness. I gripped onto the back of my chair for support, staring at my mom.

She had stopped crying, instead she was shaking her head as her hands rubbed at her temples.

"Mom what's wrong?" Max walked over to her, pulling her arm slightly as she moaned to herself about some boy.

"No, no, I don't understand any of this, they were liars, they were sick people. No, you are my daughter, mine. You are staying here" She finally turned to me, her grief stricken eyes gleaming against her now steady flow of tears.

My heart ached again, this time for the pain I was causing my family. She stared at me for a second before running from the room, her sobs echoing through our suburban house.

My hand went into my jumper pocket, fiddling with the small bracelet in there. I had to go. Everything within me was telling me I had to.

"You're still going to go aren't you?" Max's own gruff voice spoke out now, I looked at him, he was a big lad, he was on a football team, worked out 4 times a week, he was a man's man, but in this moment as he stared at me, he looked tiny. He looked hurt and scared as he watched me tear our family apart.

"I have to" Was all I could squeak out, he bowed his head and nodded.

"Then I'll help you, if you promise one thing" He walked to me, standing over me as his big hand came down on my small shoulder.

"What?" I stared him in his usually sparkling green eyes.

"Don't go without saying goodbye" His voice broke, I knew what he meant. Don't die without saying goodbye to him. He had said go, but he meant die. My empty heart filled with sorrow, aching for my little brother who had always done so much to try and protect me, to try and help me.

"Then we need a plan" He smiled down at me, a mischievous glint to his young eyes.

* * *

My music blared in my ears as I sat on the coach; I was 5 hours into a two day trip. I had to make two bus changes along the way and have an overnight stay in a little town I had never heard of. But no matter how scared I was, I had to do this. I wasn't a kid anymore, I was an adult, I could make my own decisions, I had to break free from the restraints my parents had put on me since I was a baby.

My brother had snuck me out of the house, cramming all of his savings into my bag, it wasn't much, about $500, and it paid for my journey fare and some food along the way.

I hadn't even rung Emily to ask if I could come, I just left. I just needed to leave; something was pulling at me, telling me I would like it better in La Push, even the name rolled peacefully of my tongue. Every moment longer I had spent in that house, felt like one more minute less of my life, one more minute wasted.

My phone had begun ringing an hour ago, my dad, asking where I was. Max had kept up his promise, not to say anything, to act as if he had gone to the gym and hadn't seen me. Dad was panicky and worried on the voicemails he left me, begging me to come home and talk about it. I felt bad, I knew it would hurt him, he had spent so long telling me how nuts Emily was, how glad I should be that I wasn't a part of the craziness she lived in, but right now, I couldn't care. I needed to be away from the stressful life I had lived for all these years.

The tiredness I had tried to forget about was becoming unbearable, my eyes began drooping as I watched the trees zoom past me through the dark night sky and my whole body yearned for sleep.

I turned my music up, it was Chasing Pavements by Adele, her voice always relaxed me, my eyes gave in to the soft begs my body was giving out, shutting myself out from the noisy roar of the bus speeding through the lonely night roads.

I sighed, trying to shake the constant blur of thoughts from my head, finally giving in to the pleading tiredness within me. Loosing myself to the frantic fragments of my memories, trying to piece together the screams and yells of people I had never met.

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

"Quil, do you want some food?" Emily's soft hand came down on my shoulder, her warm skin sending a sharp burn through me. I slithered away from her touch, I hated being touched.

She snapped her hand back, a little hurt; she always tried to touch me, but always got the same reaction.

I shook my head to her, no food. I didn't need anything. Just to be alone.

She walked slowly back inside, her voice echoed over the soft screams that fell around in my ears. The screams that curved around my head every day for the past 16 years, I could barely hear anything else, it was a constant echo in my ears.

"Sam I think he's getting worse, he hasn't even drank his usual cup of coffee, I left it out for him, but he hasn't had it. Nessie said he didn't eat his dinner again, and he hasn't had a touch of a drink for days" Her emotional voice made me wince.

Getting worse, I was getting worse. I hadn't noticed anything different, or worse, I still felt empty. Empty as the day she left. I couldn't see how I could be any worse than what I had always been.

"I don't think we can do anything more, we can't force him to eat Em" The rough voice of Sam replied.

My heart ached again, harsher than normal; I no longer knew what the pain was, whether something was genuinely wrong with me or whether it was the pain of my lost imprint. I used to be so synced with her feelings, even after she left, I could feel when she was sad, or happy, or having a tantrum. But as the months went on, I lost it all, then as the years dragged on and on, all this pain inside me built up, it felt like I was being stabbed over and over. No one knew whether it was just my own pain or if I could feel Claire too. I figured it was my own, Claire would be living her life, as normal as any other teenage girl, she would be happy. She never knew me. Besides, the imprint was on my side only, she would never feel a thing for me, and maybe I would be a distant memory, a dream now and then, or maybe an imaginary friend. She wouldn't feel the bond breaking like I did, she wouldn't be holding on for dear life, scrapping at the ragged cuts tearing through my imprint for her. She wouldn't be affected by a guy she never really knew. She was 19 now, I figured she would be in college, with a boyfriend who she adored, who she planned to marry, she would be healthy, beautiful, surrounded by friends. But no matter how much I tried to envision her being happy, knowing I should be ok with her being happy, there was always something, pulling at me, telling me she wasn't.

Another wave of harsh pain rode through me and I felt sick, physically sick. I knew my body was too tired to actually be sick though, so I stayed, sat in my chair on the old front porch, staring out into the still trees.

"Hey man, you ok?" Embry's rough voice called out to the left of the porch and I looked across, he walked out from the trees there, smiling up at me, his face full of life as he bounced toward the house.

I nodded, keeping my usual silence.

"You look tired dude, sleep ok?" He stopped by me, staring down with slight grief in his young eyes.

I shook my head this time, no I had barely slept. The nightmares were worse than ever, the screams worse now, literally cutting at me with each blow to my eardrums.

"Want me to grab you something?"He tried again, desperate for me to speak.

I just shook my head. I had nothing to say. I needed nothing, I wanted nothing. Just one thing. And none of them could bring that back to me.

Another roll of pain went through my heart as Embry patted my shoulder as he walked into the house, sending another scorching burn through it. I had become cold, even though I was a wolf, I was supposed to be running high temperatures but everything was cold to me now, so when someone touched me, it burnt.

I stood up, shuffling toward the front door to Sam and Emily's house, I came here most days. I would spend my nights at home, not my home I suppose, I lived with Jacob and Nessie, as they wanted to keep an eye on me. And then in the days I was brought here, so Emily could watch me. I guess I was like an old man, needed to be fed and watered, needing to be watched to make sure I was clean and healthy.

I shuffled past my three friends; they all stopped, watching me as I pushed my tired body toward the downstairs toilet. Shutting the door quietly behind me. I gripped the edge of the sink, looking at myself in the mirror. I hadn't changed much, I was paler than I should be, some of the muscles I had grown when I first phased had gone, making me look smaller than the other boys, my eyes were older than they should be, dead and strained. And my skin looked tired and worn against my still young features, for someone who was supposed to have stopped aging at 17, I looked old, like I had lived through the most unimaginable hell.

I suppose I had.

Everything had gone, all hope I ever held of finding her, all the things I held on to, I couldn't remember the sound of her laugh, or her little squeaky voice, or even the sound of her heavy tantrums when I said no to something. The sound of her scream had over powered any happy memories I had of her.

* * *

**I do not own Twilight **

**Review people!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Claires point of view **

I ached all over from my crap night's sleep in a dodgy motel across the road from the bus station. The nightmare had been back, screaming louder than ever at me, pulling me further toward La Push. Even the name made me feel calmer; it was so beautiful and peaceful. Something was telling me that this small town would be better for me than the hectic rushed life I lived in San Francisco.

I was just outside of Seattle, I had a 6 hours drive ahead of me before finally reaching Port Angeles, then a two hour taxi ride to La Push. I felt as if I had been travelling for weeks, my body ached from the constant upright position it was sat in and my stomached growled viciously for something other than the cheap chocolate bars and soda I had been living off from vending machines at the bus stations we stopped at. The only real food I had actually had in the past two days was a soggy cheeseburger I had forced down me from an awful little burger bar. I never ate much at all, especially the crap I was currently eating, I felt sluggish and sick as I nibbled on another chocolate bar for my breakfast as I sat out in the cold waiting for my bus to arrive.

I had countless numbers of voicemails and texts off my parents begging me to get in touch, they had threatened to phone the police at one point and I could hear Max screeching in the background about me being an adult and having my own rights.

I even had a voicemail off Shay Edmunds, my doctor, telling me what I was doing was stupid, that I needed to stay in touch so that they could organise a doctor for me. They told me I was running away from my problems.

I suppose I was running from my problems, I was too scared to sit around with them, letting them watch me as I grew weaker and died. But I couldn't ring them back. I needed to be independent for once; I couldn't rely on my parents or my doctor to sort out my issues for me anymore.

I glanced up as the soft burst of an engine met my ears, a bus labelled Port Angeles rolled up next to my stop and I stood up, trying desperately to lug my bag toward the luggage hold. In the end a older man took pity on me and carried it for me.

I stood near the opened door, staring at the bus in front of me, scared and unsure of what I was doing. Why had I left the safety of home to come somewhere I had no idea of what to expect? I didn't know these people, I didn't know if they would have me stay with them or if being away from my parents would just make me worse. I guess I was being stupid.

"Miss, you getting on?" The overweight bus driver looked down at me, his southern accent told me he wasn't from around here.

I looked at him, was I getting on? Should I go, or should I turn back and go home. Go home to live my last months with my family, my family who as far as I knew had never let me down. They were over protective and a little possessive of me, but I was their only daughter, they were bound to be like that.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and I flipped it open, Sarah, my nurse.

_Have hope, have strength, be free. Do what you feel you need to Claire, listen only to YOUR heart. _

Tears stung at my tired eyes, strength, hope and freedom. I traced the scars on my wrist; I had told myself that very thing when I was recovering from my melt down last year. Have hope that somewhere out there I could find myself, have strength that I could battle through anything, and be free from all the restraints my body held over me.

"Umm miss, I need to leave" The southern voice popped out at me again and I looked up, the man was smiling at me kindly but I could tell he thought I was insane. I guess I was, I was dying and running away from everyone who had ever tried to help me. But it was what I needed to do.

"Sorry" I smiled as I stepped on to the huge bus, handing him my ticket before finding my seat.

I couldn't shield myself behind my parents over protectiveness anymore, I had to face up to this myself. I had to find myself. And if that meant dying alone, then I would die alone, but I would die at home, my real home.

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

"Morning uncle Qwil" Suzie's little voice shot through the screams in my ears. The way she said my name hurt me more; I hated when she said it like that, over pronouncing a W that wasn't even supposed to be there. It's how Claire said it.

I grunted back and tried to smile, she huffed, realising I still wouldn't be playing with her and ran off shouting daddy, I watched as Jared ran to her, picking her up and swinging her in circles as she giggled at him happily.

Paul, Jared, Sam and Brady were all walking toward the house; I was sat at the kitchen table, waiting for the millions of pointless questions they would ask me. Waiting for me to finally talk.

"Hey man" Paul smiled at me as he sat opposite, Jared sat next to me, Suzie curled up in his lap still saying daddy over and over again for no reason because she had all of his attention anyway. Brady was leaning on the counter, eating muffins while Sam rushed to the house phone that had been ringing nonstop all morning but I hadn't answered.

"Hello" His gruff voice bellowed slightly.

"Is Emily there?" The frantic voice was male and young, I went back to picking at a piece of toast in front of me.

"Umm sure I'll get her, who is calling?" He frowned at the male voice; everyone was silent now, listening closely.

"Look, I need to speak to Emily, it's an emergency" The voice was annoyed now; I could see Sam getting angry as the young voice rushed out at him.

"Ok ok" Sam covered the phone and looked up the stairs.

"Emily phone!" He yelled, but it was a soft yell, the love he had for her present as ever. It made a ting of jealously roar through me every time I was forced to listen to it.

In an instant the floor boards above us creaked and the tiny patter of feet came floating down the stairs. Emily was running down, baby Bobby in her arms and the twins, Samantha and Jace behind her. They all smiled down at Sam who reached up, grabbing them both down from the steps as Emily rushed past him, bouncing Bobby on her hip.

"Hello" She spoke softly into the phone, her eyes never leaving Sam and her 6 year old twins.

"Emily Young?" The voice was muffled now as if he was talking quietly.

"Umm I used to be Young, I got married, who is this?" Emily's face fell slightly as everyone in the room stayed silent, watching her carefully. No one had called her young for just over 15 years, she had got married about two months after that day.

"Max" Emily nearly dropped baby Bobby, my heart stopped and the room fell tense as everyone stood up suddenly.

Claire's brother Max? I started shaking, from panic and anticipation, why was he ringing? It was the only contact we had had with any of her family for 16 years. My heart was beating rapidly in my empty chest.

"Max, Max, oh my god Max" Emily seemed to struggle for words as she watched my reaction, I could feel the colour in my face fade as my body shivered, the unbearable screaming erupting in my ears.

"Hi, look I need to speak to you, it's important, it's about Claire" Emily's grip on the phone loosened as she paled more.

Claire, the screaming stopped as he spoke her name, his voice cracked slightly. My stomach churned, making me feel sick as Paul walked to me, holding my shoulder in support as I waited for whatever news Max had rang with.

"What's happened? How is she?" Emily's words rushed from her mouth.

"She's not good; I suppose she's worse than not good. She's, well, she's dying" The voice broke again and Emily literally dropped Bobby from her grip, Brady was next to her in a flash, clutching on to the little boy who fell from her hip.

Emily's hand flew to her mouth as tears fell from her usually happy eyes. Paul's grip on my shoulder tightened as I flew from my seat, my heart shattering to a million pieces. Dying. She was dying.

My body gave way beneath me and I could feel myself falling as Emily's tears shot through me, she was dying.

The scorching touch of my brothers seared my cold skin as I fell backwards, my whole body was exploding, and the pain was too much. The scene around me darkened, nothing had any light to it. I needed to leave.

"Quil calm down" Sam was trying to order me as shakes rolled through my cold body.

I couldn't, she was ill, I couldn't protect her, I was supposed to protect her but I didn't. I ran through the open doors not bothering to listen to the rest of the conversation Max was now having with Emily, I couldn't hear it, I just sprinted to the trees as my brothers screamed my name after me.

My wolf took over, my lonely broken wolf; I exploded leaving my human pain behind me as my animal took over. A long grief stricken howl took over and filled the morning sky.

I pushed my paws hard through the crowded trees, pushing myself from the place I had stayed for so long, for so long I stayed hoping she would come home but she never did. She never would. I would never know her, all hope was gone, the world around me turned a harrowing black as I pushed myself further and further away from the place I had only stayed in for so long for her. it was useless now, my reason for living was finally fading, my heart broke again as I felt my brothers phase in. Blocking them from my mind I pushed further, I couldn't go back to them, to the pitying looks and sorrow filled words.

**Sorry its still a tad depressing but she is almost in La Push! But will Quil feel her and come back or has he shut himself off completely? Who knows? Keep reading :D **

**But thank you all for your reviews! Keep it up, I can't believe how nice you have all been about it as I have never been into Quil/Claire stories really so I am so unsure about how I am doing , so your encouragement means loads :D **

**Keep reviewing, also, feel free to give me any ideas you may have, if you have read my other stories you shall know that I LOVE hearing your ideas and I often put them in as well so yeah let me know :D **

**I do not own Twilight **


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for your reviews :D I am really enjoying writing this so far, so keep it up :D I like the idea about them meeting in the woods that Godisgood reviewed with, I will definitely keep that in mind as I continue to write :D I will try to update every day, or at least every other day, I try to update most days so you shouldn't be waiting too long :D **

**Keep reviewing and giving in ideas, I love to hear them :D x**

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

My small body couldn't cope any more, I had hardly eaten or drank anything for two days and I had been in the worse pain all day, after I got on my bus this morning, a sharp pain had ripped through my heart, it felt as if I was breaking.

It had died down, slightly, but it still hurt as I sat here, staring into the darkness from the back seat of a taxi.

"Hey miss, we are in La Push" The cab driver patted the seat getting my attention, I looked up as he held my door open for me.

Stepping out of the cold car I turned, looking around me, I had told him to drop me in the main part of La Push, but this was an empty road, a row of about five shops was opposite me. I frowned, this was the main area of La Push?

A small market, a tiny diner, a small garage, a tool shop and an old book shop. It was cute, but I had no idea where I would go from here.

"Thank you" I whispered as I pulled my aching body toward him, he had my luggage waiting for me, it was only one bag, a big heavy bag that I had no hope in hell of carrying.

I slapped the money into the drivers hand, plus a tip, he had driven me from Port Angeles to La Push, over an hour's drive. I felt bad, it was early evening, and he probably had a family to get home to. He shot me a smile and jumped back in his black car, pulling away quickly as the sharp wind whipped around my long hair, blowing it into my face.

I sighed, now what? I am here, but I have no idea where to go. I looked up at the row of shops, most of them were shut, and the only ones with lights on were the diner and the garage. They were right next to one another so I turned, deciding to make my way there. Someone would be around.

I heaved on the heavy bag, my whole body screaming in protest as I lugged it across the dusty road toward the diner. I couldn't give up now, I had to at least try find my way to Emily's, it seemed a tiny town, people in small towns new each other, I think.

"ehhhh" I moaned as I heaved the bag toward me again, my arms were shaking from the amount of effort I was putting in, I was nearly there, a few more pulls and I could rest.

"Come on you weak little pathetic arms" I mumbled as I pulled it more, my hands burning from the grip I had on the handle.

"Need some help?" A low voice erupted from behind me, making me jump a mile from the unexpected fright it gave me. My heart pain exploded from its currently dormant state making me keel over clutching at it.

"Sorry should have made my presence aware, oh god sorry" The voice was closer now, the words rushing out frantically as I gripped my chest.

That's one way to make a girl with an already failing heart die prematurely. I breathed in slowly, steadying the pain.

I waved a hand at him, telling him I was fine as I stood upright pushing through the sharp ache. I kept my head low as I bent down to pick up my handbag that I had dropped when the guy had scared me.

A big tanned hand enclosed around my luggage bag, lifting it with the same little effort I could only master when picking up a fork.

"I'm Embry, I work at the garage over there, you need help getting anywhere?" Embry, I recognised that name, it felt so familiar.

I looked up, my whole body stopping as I took in the man before me, he was in the picture, he was one of the laughing men on the beach. Embry, he said his name was Embry.

"_Unca Embwy stop laughding at me pwease!" _

The squeaky voice of a toddler screeched through my head as if trying to remember something, the voice giggled as it squeaked, a blurred fragment of a memory.

I stood, staring at this man, he couldn't be older than 25, there was no way I recognised him. The voice in my head was wrong, "uncle Embry" was no more than 6 years older than me. I frowned, he was in the picture, I was sure of it, but he looked no older than he had in the photo, it was impossible.

He was staring back at me, confusion on his young handsome face, his eyebrows crumpled into utter confusion as he stared down at my little self.

"Do I know you?" He spoke now, scratching his head as if trying to remember something.

"I don't think so" My soft voice quivered slightly as his stare got harder against mine.

"Embry what are you doing?" The voice that started echoing through the dark night trailed off as footsteps sounded, getting closer to us.

"Scaring little girls again I see, we have talked about this bro it aint cool" The voice lightened up, laughing as it reached us.

"Seth, she looks like someone I know" The Embry guy's voice was a loud whisper, as if trying to not let me hear as he nudged the guy next to him.

I glanced up at the happy young face of the Seth person; he was big and muscled like Embry, his smile dropped as he looked at me. The same confusion entering his perfectly young features. I frowned, he looked fairly familiar too.

"She looks like... but older" Seth's low grumbling voice finally pierced the awkward silence which had taken over as the men both stared at me.

"Hey you ok, you look pale?" The Seth kid looked over me, his face squeezed with worry.

I look like who? Why were they staring at me like that?

A wave of tiredness fell over me and I felt faint, weak, I needed to sit down. I was going a bit light headed, I had hardly eaten or drank anything all day.

"But she can't be, Emily said she was real sick, remember that's why he left" Embry answered now, but my head snapped up. Who left? Wait, Emily?

"Emily Uley?" My small voice slurred with tiredness.

"You know her?" Seth looked back at me; he seemed to be swaying slightly as my body fought against the painful aches that took over.

"She's my aunt" I managed to squeak out before everything got worse. My whole body swayed, I could barely focus on anything and my heart was in the most unbearable amount of pain.

Both of their faces dropped in horror. They looked at each other then back to me. My body was about to fall, I was about to fall.

"Oh shit, Claire?" Embry spoke softer now, his eyes searching mine.

I went to answer but I couldn't, I was too weak, everything blacked out around me as I made the short trip to the ground.

...

* * *

I stirred slightly as more pains shot through my body, I was stirring against the aches that ran through me, trying to calm them. I was in a bed, it was soft and comfortable, but my body was still shivering as a cold shiver ran through me.

My eyes opened slightly, glancing around at the unfamiliar room, it was pink, teddy's and dolls were scattered around the floor, a pop up princess tent was in the corner. There were pictures everywhere, happy family pictures. I zoned in on one directly next to me, a woman with three scars down her face, she was smiling at the camera, and a man had his arms wrapped around her as she cradled a little baby, and a young boy and girl were sat at her feet, grinning stupidly at the camera. I smiled, they looked happy. My eyes enclosed on the scarred woman, she was the one who was in the picture with me, in the box, and she had cradled me like that once. She looked older in this photo, not much older, she had aged beautifully. She was probably in her 30's now.

"I just need to check on her, go eat your cereal honey" A female spoke from outside of the door, I snuggled further into the duvet, which I now realised had Barbie all over it.

The door squeaked open and I peered over the blanket, suddenly frightened by the fact that I had met two random men last night and was now in a strangers house.

"Honey, are you awake?" A soft female voice travelled to me as a small patter of footsteps across carpet made its way to me.

I looked up, the woman from the picture was looking down at me, a kind motherly smile on her plump lips. Relief washed over me, she looked harmless. I felt safe as she smiled down at my small body.

"Oh my god, it is you" Tears fell down her cheeks as he plonked herself down on the bed, pulling my tired body into her arms and holding me tightly.

I stayed silent, letting this woman cry into my shoulder for a few minutes, mumbling about how beautiful I was. The confusion finally became too much and I pulled myself back, trying not to look too freaked out. She started laughing at herself and wiped her tears away.

"Claire, sorry, I'm Emily, your aunt" Her eyes shone with love as she leant in, kissing my cold cheek.

Emily, I had been brought to my aunt. My whole body relaxed, the pain in my heart dying down slightly as I took in her features, she was small, my height, she had a small body but she wasn't thin, she had curves that told you she had had children.

"My husband, your Uncle Sam, his friends bought you here last night, Embry and Seth, you passed out and gave them quite a scare" She started crying all over again, this time her tears were soft and her smile never left her face. Sam, Sam Sam Sam.

"_Unca Sam ated all my foods up, naughty unca Sam"_

The memory of the child's voice shocked through me again, Sam, I knew that name, it was all so familiar, these names and faces.

"Are you ok?" Her smile dropped as she watched me, I hadn't said a word to her. And I was sure I probably looked scared stiff.

"Yeah, just a little overwhelmed" My own voice was small and she let out a long sigh, her whole body falling slightly as if deflated.

"Your brother rang yesterday you know, Max, told me you were ill" Her voice quivered, and so we arrived at the dreaded conversation.

"Yeah, heart failure, depression, borderline anorexia, you name it, I either got it or had it or been treated for it" I tried making light of it, I didn't want to get into heavy stuff before I even got to meet her properly.

"I get it, he said your here to relax, to rest. How about we get to know each other more, have some breakfast and then talk?" She smiled, talking confidently as if she was completely comfortable and used to being around me.

"I would kill for some food, I've been living off chocolate for two days" I smiled lightly as she got up, holding her hand out for me to pull me from the low child's bed I was in.

She walked slowly down the stairs in front of me, my shaking legs nearly giving out with each harsh step I took. The house was silent, the only noise coming from the low TV that was playing somewhere in the background.

The stairs led straight into the kitchen area, it was empty, but it was cute, a small table in the middle of the room, the kitchen counters spread around it where white, old but chic.

The TV was still playing, I looked around, straight through the kitchen was the living room, it was open plan, the only thing showing the change between the two rooms was a small arch. It was empty; the TV was on a music channel, offering slight background noise.

I sat at the small wooden table as Emily brought a bowl of already cut up fruit over, placing it in front of me with a fork.

"I will be doing pancakes and bacon in a little bit, when the boys get back" She sat down, sipping on a coffee. I smiled and nodded, knowing this small amount of fruit would fill me up without the need for pancakes.

"Claire, I just cannot believe your here, really here" She smiled, more tears brimming her brown eyes. For a slight moment, my body relaxed, no pain or aching, I was content.

Then it hit me again, making me feel like something was still missing. I ignored it, nibbling on a cherry.

"How are you feeling?" Her voice calmed me again, it was caring and comfortable.

"Ok I guess, in a bit of pain, and a little tired but ok" I didn't know if I needed to explain everything to her, I hated explaining it over and over again.

"Max rang yesterday morning, looking for you, he sort of explained everything, but we had a bit of a disturbance while he tried so I couldn't really understand it all. But told me about, you're umm, situation. Don't worry; we won't talk about it until you are ready to. I am just so happy to have you back, I spent so long looking for you, praying they would bring you home" The tears spilled now, she shook her head, chuckling slightly as she wiped her tears away.

They being my parents I assumed, she seemed nice, I had no idea why they hated her so much.

"I am such a mess, I just never thought I would see you again" She laughed as she wiped more tears from her scarred face. I smiled, it was nice seeing someone who I barely knew show so much emotion over me, my heart lifted again and I felt a true smile play my lips.

"Aunty Em aunty Em, daddy is home daddy is home" A little girl ran in, squeezing a teddy her in small arms, she must have been about 6, her long black hair was curly and ran down her back, she was tanned, darker than me. She was in shorts and a jumper, her eyes were a sparkly green colour. She was cute.

She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw me, her smile faltering slightly before she looked to Emily for some sort of encouragement.

"Oh Suzie, honey, this is my niece I told you about, her name is Claire, can you say hi to her?" Emily cooed as the little girl walked slowly toward us both, her smile appeared back on her little face and she nodded.

"I'm Suzie, I'm 7 and I can't go to school this week because I had my tonsils out last week and I need to rest, I feel fine though. I was told stories about you, your Claire, you used to be best friends with my uncle" Before she could finish her sentence a man ran up behind her, scooping her into his arms before blowing raspberries on her cheek as she giggled for him to stop.

I smiled as she giggled loudly, my glance fell on Emily who was watching me a little nervous, it was only then that I realised Suzie was about to tell me who I had been best friends with. I glanced back at the little girl who was being lowered to the floor again by the man, his laughter had died down and he fell silent. I looked up at him, his look was directly on me, his smile faltered him for a second, he seemed a little shocked before he corrected himself and smiled at me.

"Claire, Jesus Christ you haven't changed a bit" His rough voice sang down to me as he held out a hand to shake mine, I took it, his heat scorching my cold skin, I ignored the pain from it gripping his huge hand as he pulled me up from my seat, I flew forward into his warm embrace and he hugged me lightly.

I wasn't sure what to do, to me, a complete stranger was hugging me in a hug so hot my whole body was burning uncomfortably. I made a small squeak before I could stop myself and he released me. Still smiling down at me.

"Sorry, I'm Jared, you probably don't remember me, I knew you when you were this big" He over exaggerated a small height with his hands and laughed slightly. Jared.

"_Unca Jared and Kimmy sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" _

The voice of the child I had grown so used to hearing sung in my head as I thought of his name, I guess I knew him, his name was familiar. And someone called Kimmy, whoever that was. I frowned, trying to remember more, but the girl's voice had gone from my head. Not offering anymore scrambled memories. I looked up at his face, he was young, like the Embry guy last night, he was no older than 27 maybe, but he had this responsible, grown mature aura about him, like he was older. How could he have known me when I was that little? He was not much older than me.

"Sorry, I don't remember much, I have the memory of a fish" I mumbled, trying to make light conversation with the man who had been so excited to see me.

He laughed slightly before sitting down, scooping the girl into his lap.

"No worries, you were like 3 when I last saw you" He smiled more as he started tickling Suzie's belly as she wriggled in his lap. He was huge; he was shirtless, his muscles bulging through his tanned skin. Embry and Seth had been like that. Maybe they were all body builders.

"Jared is Suzie's dad, he is friends with my husband, Sam, his wife Kim will be here later, she works up the clinic so she doesn't finish until 5" Emily offered the information to me, her own face was a bit cautious as she watched me lower my aching body back into my seat. I nodded at her, Kim, Kimmy, maybe they had been dating when I was a kid.

Before anyone could say anything else, a group of men walked in, seven oversized tanned men, all shirtless, all staring at me with disbelief on their faces. I looked at each one of them, familiarity washing over me, I clocked Seth and Embry, both smiling down at me from their places within the group.

"You find him?" Emily's voice was frantic, worry plagued each word and I looked at her, she looked ready to cry again.

I glanced back at the guys, their faces crumbled into sadness as each one of them shook their heads slowly.

"He's not near her or anywhere near here, he's gone" The biggest of the guys, a older man at the front, spoke first, his voice low and rumbling, he looked familiar, so much more than the others. The little voice spoke in my head again. Uncle Sam. He had been in the photo upstairs with Emily and the kids. He was Sam.

A pain ran through me as they all stayed still, grief swallowing their expressions as they looked at the floor. He's gone, the words rang through me, speaking to me directly even though I had no idea who they were on about. The aching in my heart grew worse and I struggled to keep my composure as every inch of me begged to keel over from the unbearable attack that was ripping me apart. He was gone, even though I had no idea who he was, my whole body yearned for him to come back.


	7. Chapter 7

I **do not own Twilight**

**Thank you for your reviews and everything, you are amazing! Such a buzz reading your comments :D Enjoy this chapter my beautiful readers :D**

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Everyone stayed still, in silence that had quickly become awkward for me as I had no idea what all the tense and upset looks were about. I felt like I was intruding on some big family drama. I glanced over at Suzie who was still sat in Jared's lap, she was watching me, and she seemed slightly confused by my sudden appearance into her family.

I was slightly confused by my sudden appearance, I wasn't this type of girl, to get up and leave. I usually never did the stuff I wanted to do, never gone against my parent's wishes. It was weird, my head was telling me it was stupid to come here, but my broken heart was begging for me to come, giving me hope that this small town and this family would help me.

"How old are you?" She broke into a smile as she asked the question and Jared glanced down at her.

"Umm, 19?" It came out as if I was asking permission to be 19 or something, she smiled more. She was a pretty little girl, her cheeks were naturally flushed.

"Your real pretty" She carried on, smiling as she looked straight into my eyes. I smiled at this, I wasn't used to being called pretty so when people did it, I smiled like an asshole.

"So are you"

"Where did you live before you came here?" I suddenly felt this would roll into a game of 21 questions, her little face looking inquisitive at the stranger in front of her.

"San Francisco, very different from here, it's a big city" Her eyes widened as I spoke, she glanced up at her dad who was smiling.

"Woah, so was it like really big? Was it sunny? Was it scary living in a city?" And here come the questions. I smiled still, happy that I was distracted from the stares I could feel on my back.

"Yeah, pretty big, and yeah I guess it was sunny. It scared me when I was little, but now it just annoys me, never get any peace, traffic everywhere, people barging into you constantly, I would say, you are definitely better off in a small town" I liked San Francisco, it was a nice place, but I wasn't cut out for city life.

"Cool, I want to move to New York and be famous" She grinned wider as Jared shook his head and chuckled slightly at his daughters big dreams.

"Really, that sounds amazing, you know I've been to New York" Her eyes widened again, her mouth dropped into a big o shape.

"No way!"

"Yep, when I was like 16 maybe, some friends and I went" I stopped there, not telling her I went because it was on my terminally ill friends bucket list, I didn't want to scare the kid.

"Awesome, did you meet anyone famous? Did you go to the Empire State building? Or in a yellow taxi? Oh I know, did you go on a horse and carriage in central park?" Her smile grew wider and I laughed a little for someone so young, she knew a lot about New York.

"Suzie enough questions leave the poor girl alone" Jared finally intervened, putting a hand over his daughters mouth; she squealed and jumped around in his lap.

I glanced at Emily, she had tears in her eyes again as she looked at me, she was emotional as hell, just like my mom.

"Here I go again, Jesus I am like a broken tap this morning" She wiped her eyes and laughed, trying to get the tears to go.

"Uhh I'm used to it, my mom is a total wreck too" I waved it off but she turned a little pale. My heart dropped, mom, she was probably hysterical right now.

"Your mom, how is she, do you want to ring her?" She suddenly seemed panicked and stood up walking toward what looked like the phone.

"Oh god no, I umm, well she doesn't know I'm here" My voice was small and she turned, looking at me then at the group of guys behind me.

"She doesn't know your here?" A gruff voice erupted and I turned, the guy I figured was Sam was looking at me, a little puzzled.

I shook my head, a little afraid now. They might make me go back. I couldn't go back, I would be forced to go to the stupid treatment place.

"Your brother rang us though" A guy stood behind Sam talked, his voice a little intimidating, he was big and had a face that looked like he was constantly angry.

"Umm Max knows, he took me to the bus station, I got into a huge fight with my parents, I guess I ran away. He helped me I suppose" I looked back to Emily, she made me feel calmer than these huge guys did.

"Why did you fight?" Jared asked, he had ushered Suzie into the living room and the guys who were previously huddled in the door way spread themselves out, sitting around the table or on the stairs.

"I um, well, I" I didn't really know what to say, would I need to explain the heart problem?

"They all know about your situation, I told them, sorry" Emily put a hand on my shoulder, I immediately relaxed, I hated telling people.

"No its fine" I smiled lightly before glancing to the boys, all looking at me with interest, it felt like story time, everyone gathered around listening carefully.

"They were trying to force me to go to some treatment centre, where I would be forced to stay in bed for months while they pricked me with different needles on the hour every hour, and none of it would work anyway, it's what they've done to me my whole life. I think I spent more time in treatment centres and rehab facilities than in my own house. I didn't want to go through that again" I looked up, every one of the guys seemed to look sadder now, shooting knowing looks to either one another or the floor.

"You have been ill for a while then?" Embry looked up, smiling lightly at me, but he looked sad still, his eyes weren't sparkling like they had last night, the cheekiness was gone from his smile.

"Yeah, from what I know when I was 3, about 4 months before my 4th birthday, I was at pre-school and I collapsed in heart pain, so it started from there. I was diagnosed and treated for every illness in the book, nothing ever worked, in the end they got so confused by me they literally thought I was putting it on. then when I was like what, 16 it got worse, I lost all this weight, anorexic they said, I wasn't doing it on purpose though, I just couldn't eat, then at 17 so just under two years ago now, I got really bad depression, ended up in rehab for a year" I stopped there, not wanting to offer information about my meltdown that had nearly taken my life.

I started rubbing my wrist, the scars burning as I relived the memory. I had no idea why I was telling all this to a room full of strangers but I felt so calm and content amongst them, like they were my family. Like they cared.

I looked back up at them, a younger guy, looked around my age was watching me, his eyes flickered to my wrists as I rubbed them and his mouth popped open slightly, as if understanding my words and my actions.

"You were 17 when that happened?" He spoke now, his eyes firmly on my tattooed wrists. I nodded.

"That would have been when he got umm real ill, you know, Sam, remember" The guy looked away from me, trying to talk with his eyes to Sam who was stood by the fridge.

"Oh, oh, oh god it worked both ways, shit, shit" Sam kicked into the fridge slightly, as if realizing something that should have been plainly obvious to him.

"Guys umm, go try umm ring him" Sam stood forward, his face paling slightly, he glanced at the guys around him and two of them stood up, Seth and another young guy, shooting me smiles before running through the door.

What the hell were they on about? I glanced up at Emily, she was crying again. What worked both ways? Who was this him they kept mentioning?

"Oh sorry, let me introduce you to everyone, you probably won't remember any of them" She smiled now, I nodded, I wouldn't but I was sure my fragmented memory would throw something at me.

"This is Sam, my husband, your uncle" She pointed to the one I had figured to be Sam and he walked over leaning down and giving me a slightly awkward hug.

"Claire, it is real good to have you back you know" He smiled genuinely at me before back away again.

"This is Paul, he is married to my friend, Rachel you will meet her later" She motion to the intimidating one, he smiled at me and I smiled back slightly. He did seem familiar.

"_Unca Paul is mean and scawy and me no like him" _

"_Why Claire Bear?" A soft inviting voice spoke back to me. _

"_He ated up all my stawbewwy, mean fat Pauly" _

The voices erupted in my head and I smiled, the girl sounded cute, but the male voice who had replied had the most beautifully low voice, so enticing. I looked back to Paul, he was watching me a little wary as I took in his young appearance, why was the memory calling them Uncle? They were barely older than me.

"This is Collin" She pointed to the young one who had noticed my wrists, he smiled and waved at me, he was young, probably 20 if that.

The squeaky voice stayed silent, not offering any information about this guy.

"Brady and Seth just left, I think you met Seth last night, Brady is a nice kid he will introduce himself later I am sure" Emily giggled, I had a feeling Brady was the funny one, her face lit up as she talked about him, she seemed real caring towards each of these muscle men around her.

"Embry, who you met last night" She pointed to Embry who smiled widely at me, I smiled back, the little voice stayed silent still, I had already remembered him.

"You met Jared, umm oh yeah Jacob, that's Jacob" She pointed to the big one on the stairs, he was huge.

"Not so little Claire anymore ey" He smiled down at me and I nodded back, Jacob, Jacob.

"You used to call me Jakey, most annoying thing in the whole world" He laughed, Jakey.

"_Oh my goodness, Jakey, you hurted my Qwily" _

The small voice sounded angry as it shot through my thoughts.

Qwil? What the hell was Qwil? Like a writing Qwil? The old pen things? No, my heart tugged at me, Qwil was a person.

Qwil, Q-w-i-l .

"_It's Quil Q-U-I-L, Claire the W you put there is not supposed to be there, stop pronouncing it like that" _

My mom, her soft but scornful voice shot through me like the others had. Quil. Who the hell was Quil?

"Quil" the name rolled off my tongue before I could stop it, it felt so right coming from my lips, my heart lifted, the pain eased and my body felt light and giddy for a second before a loud cough brought me back to reality.

"Sorry what did you say?" The Paul guy was watching me, well they were all watching me, confused by what I had said.

"Oh nothing, sorry" My heart dropped again, back to its emptiness.

Was he angry at me for saying it? Was it a bad word? Or had someone died? My heart dropped, as if praying the Quil thing or person wasn't dead.

"You said a name, what did you say?" Paul tried again, smiling this time to show he wasn't angry.

"Umm, Quil?" I looked up at Emily, her face had dropped into a false smile.

"You remember him?" She seemed tense as she asked me, I shook my head.

"No, it just sort of popped in my head, why who is it?" My voice was shaking, a little worried that I had pissed off the people my parents told me were so dangerous.

"An old friend of yours, you were really close when you were younger, he umm, he's away at the moment. I am sure he would love to see you though" She smiled fake again and backed off toward Sam.

I suddenly felt like I needed some time to myself and looked around at Emily, she had her genuine smile back on her face as Sam held her to him closely.

"I would love a shower, if I could; I need to change and stuff"

She nodded at me and walked over, taking my hand and pulling me toward the stairs.

I looked back at the guys, they were now huddled whispering to one another, a few of them looked up at me as I headed up the stairs and out of sight. I had a feeling I had said the wrong thing, or that they were hiding something from me about this Quil guy. I was hoping the squeaky voice would appear, telling me more about the guy I was so intrigued by, but it didn't. It stayed silent as Emily showed me to the bathroom and where she had put my bag.

I took a long shower, letting the hot water run over my cold skin, it still felt like nothing, the burning feeling was still absent. But the pain within me felt a little more relaxed, there was still the empty feeling, something or someone was still missing. And no matter how hard I tried, the eyes of the unknown man wouldn't leave my head. And the name Quil kept rolling from my tongue, it felt so natural there, like it belonged. But he was missing, and the hole in my heart was still there, burning away at me.

I couldn't hold it in any more my tired body collapsed in a heap at the bottom of the shower, there was the most overwhelming feeling of loss rolling through me, grief that I couldn't explain. My heart felt like it was snapping into tiny chunks of emptiness. To sum it up, as I lay here, in the bottom of the shower, my whole body felt it was about to give up. Like it had no reason to carry on, that the thing that was missing was gone for good, hope of ever finding it was fading fast.


	8. Chapter 8

**EEEEK :) Thank you as usual, so here is some of Quil, and maybe a little slice of what you have been waiting for, maybe ;) So review as always my lovely readers ;D **

**I Do not own Twilight**

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**Quil point of view**

I hadn't stopped running yet, my feet continued to pound through the wet grass until I reached a cliff edge. Stopping to look around I realised I had been here before, two years ago nearly, I had gotten so bad, I had been the worst I had ever been. This cliff edge had drove me to insanity last time I was here. But I couldn't stop running toward it, I was trying to outrun the pain that was chasing after my pumping heart, the pain I had lived with for 16 years was gone, this new pain was much worse. My whole body was breaking down, everything I lived for was going, she was dying, and nothing could save her. I couldn't be around there, waiting for the call to tell us she had gone, I couldn't live the rest of my life knowing I had let her go so easily.

If she was going, I needed to go too; nothing was holding me here anymore. The minute her brother said those words, the pull within me snapped, I no longer had anything to live for. She was my gravity, my reason for existing, even when she was so far away from me, she was still here, and she was still alive. But now, there was no reason. If the only way I could be with her was in death, then I would die too.

I stared out over the sharp cliff edge, her young face flowing freely through my mind as my heart shuddered with pain within me, my wolf roaring internally from the failure it felt at not being able to save its girl. My girl.

I wasn't afraid of dying, I was afraid of never seeing her face, never knowing how she looked now, never knowing what kind of life she led, never knowing if she felt the gaping hole in her heart that I felt. My world had turned even blacker than before, filled with death and sorrow. All hope was gone.

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**Claire's point of view**

"We found him, near Canada, he's stayed in the same place for a couple hours now, maybe we could bring him back" The male voice was cut off by fake uncontrollable coughing by Sam who had flown from his seat.

I glanced up from the space I had taken on the floor with little Suzie, she was showing me her toys, the two guys who had gone earlier on had returned, walking shirtless through the front door. They both stopped and stared at me for a second before looking at the floor.

So they were all definitely hiding something, but I just arrived, so technically I had no right to know or want to know what they were on about.

"Umm Suzie why don't you choose a film, the other kids will be here soon" Emily smiled down at us and I stood up, following her toward the kitchen as the guys all got up and walked outside.

My legs weren't as tired as they were before, although my crying in the shower had really taken my energy away, my eyes were fighting to stay open and my back and arms were hurting.

"More kids?" I question Emily, I wasn't comfortable around kids, Suzie was ok, she seemed older for her age, but kids as in babies, not my forte.

"Yeah, the little ones go to day care, Nessie picks them up, then the older ones will come from school and after school clubs with Rachel and Kim" She smiled motherly as she stirred the big pot of potatoes which were boiling on the stove.

"So how many are there?" Hoping she would say like 5. She didn't.

"Sixteen altogether" She watched me as my eyes widened, sixteen children. So, maybe this wasn't the most peaceful place I could have come.

"I know, it's a lot, I had three, little Bobby who is one, he is in day care, then the twins Samantha and Jace, they are 6. Then Jared and Kim have Suzie, Jack and Meggy, Paul and Rachel have Tommy, Kiera, Kaidence and Mason. Jake and Ness have Isla, Billie and Charlie, Brady just had a little boy, George with his fiancé Kacey and Leah has twins Annabelle and Harry, but she lives away so she hardly comes over. It's a lot but they really are all well behaved, and if they annoy you or tire you out just tell them to go away, they aren't even here that much"

I stayed silent, trying to remember the names, I couldn't, I just nodded at her as she smiled into her pots, she was such a family orientated person, I could tell from her mannerism and how the house was covered in family photos. Even a few of me as a baby were dotted around.

Suddenly a bunch of childish screams erupted outside and Emily giggled, I guess that signalled the arrival of them. The door opened and four women walked in, the youngest looked around 23, she was blonde and pale skinned, she was pretty, she had sparkling blue eyes and she balanced a small baby on her hip as she carried a baby carrier in the other arm. A slightly older girl was behind her, her skin was pale too, but she had long curly brown hair and the most beautiful golden eyes, she had a toddler in her arms, a little girl who was just as beautiful but was tanned. The two women behind them had no children in their arms, just loads of bags and lunchboxes, they were older than the first two, I would put them in their 30's, both tanned like Emily and I, with long black hair. They all looked friendly as they fell in through the door.

"Bobby" Emily ran forward to the blonde woman, taking the baby from her hip and cuddling him closely, placing kisses on his small tubby cheeks.

"Claire this is Bobby, my baby boy, say hi to Claire Bobby" She waved his little hand at me and I had to smile, he was cute, he was chubby and had a little mohawk, it was adorable.

"Claire? As in Claire Claire?" The blonde girl seemed to double take me as her eyes shot between Emily and the two girls behind her.

"Yeah, she got here last night, did Brady not tell you?" One of the older woman answered, I felt tired, all the confusion of who was who got too much.

"He was umm working, so no" The blonde girl fumbled slightly as she got the baby out of the seat that she had put on the floor.

"Oh well, yeah Claire as in Claire Claire" The woman smiled now, putting down the endless numbers of lunch bags and walking to me.

"You probably don't remember me much, Rachel, Paul's wife and Jacob's older sister" She smiled leaning in to me to place a quick kiss on my cheek, I nodded, absorbing the information, she was pretty, taller than Emily, dressed in business type wear. She seemed genuine enough.

"And I'm Kim, Jared's better half" The other older woman smiled at me, unloading her own handful of bags.

"Nessie, Jacob's wife and this is Isla our youngest" She pointed to the toddler in her arms and I smiled, Nessie, she was the younger one with long brown hair and dazzling golden eyes.

"Sorry, I never met you but I heard so much about you from the guys, this is little George, I'm Brady's fiancé Kacey" The blonde one smiled now, holding a small baby in her arms, he was probably only a few months old if that, I nodded, she was the closest to my age, she looked young and full of life, she had a glow about her as she cuddled her baby close to her chest.

I felt overwhelmed, I had met all these people that seemed to know everything about me, but I still knew hardly anything about them or who they really were to me.

The door swung open again, a trail of kids ran in, a variety of ages, none of them paid the slightest attention to me, they just ran straight to the living room and dived on the various sofa's dotted around.

"And that is our herd of extremely rude children" Rachel shouted slightly, ensuring the kids could hear her. She shook her head and sat down, smiling at me brightly.

"You really have not changed, you just look older, still as pretty as you were when you were a little baby" She smiled wider, as if remembering me as a kid.

I didn't say anything, my body was tired again, a horrible grief stricken ache was running through me but I had no idea why. It was as if everything in my life had turned bad, like I had no reason to be here anymore. I felt like I would cave in at any moment, that the shell that held my empty body up was about to be washed away by a storm raged sea and I could do nothing to stop it.

I stayed silent as Emily handed out food, the guys had come in, sitting themselves around the small kitchen, having a couple helpings of food before finishing off their wives or kids. Embry finished mine, I realised Emily hadn't mentioned his wife or kids, I suppose he only looked young, he was probably still a young hot bachelor going out every weekend and getting wasted.

Everyone made polite conversation with me, telling me stories I couldn't remember about my childhood, how I had forced them to play ponies with me, them being the ponies. And how I used to force the guys to be my dolls and I would dress them up in dresses and makeup. I smiled at this, the idea of these huge masculine men in woman's clothing too funny to not smile. But something still bothered me, they all acted as if they were years older than me, as if they had been adults when I was a baby, but they weren't much older than me, Sam seemed the oldest, and I would clock him at 30, if that.

It was only 8:30pm when I excused myself, the pain within me finally becoming too much to bare. I was in Samantha's room, she was staying in with Jace until Sam could clear out the guest room for me.

As I lay in her small Barbie bed, my body buzzed from the mountain of information I had gathered in one short day. I was shattered, more so than normal. I felt like I was home, like I should feel complete, but the hole in my heart refused to close, no matter how welcome I felt by each of the people downstairs, I felt like there was something still missing, something that still needed to be fixed.

I could feel my heart, tugging against my chest, as if calling out for something, screaming for what was missing to return. It was strange; I had never felt this way. It was like I was so close to it, but so far, my whole body was calling for something that I knew nothing about.

As I shut my eyes, letting my tired body and mind drift into a sleep, there was one thing on my mind. That name, the name that rolled so easily from my lips. I needed to know more about him, why his name had haunted my thoughts all day. As I drifted further into a sleep I could feel it, building on my lips. I couldn't stop myself from letting it slip out, as if calling for something, my heart was pushing it from me, a soft beg in my tired voice.

"Quil"

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**Quil's point of view**

"_Quil" _

The wind was screaming around my ears, carrying a soft plea through it. My body perked up, the feeling of loneliness vanished as the name carried on drifting through the calm breeze that whipped around my body.

It sounded so beautiful, so needing and small. It was begging, pleading for me, my whole body felt pulled, pulled back to the place I had left not 24 hours earlier. I stood overlooking the cliff, I hadn't moved all day. My heart perked up, lifting from its dead state within my hollow chest. The soft voice had peaked interest within me, it was a female voice, the most angelic female voice.

"_Quil" _

It rang out again, calling to me, pulling me toward it. I turned; following the direction it was calling me in with my eyes.

My body had gone numb, realising I knew the voice that travelled out to me. It was so familiar, so soothing and calm, yet it was tired, weak and desperate as it called for me. I had felt this pull before, only on a few occasions but I could remember it so fiercely. The last time I had felt it was nearly two years ago, the last time I had let myself get this way, the last time I had let myself lose all hope of finding her. I had come to this very spot, begging to be taken from the constant pain I lived in, begging to be freed from the echoes of her little screams in my ears. I had heard it then, the pleading voice that asked for me to turn around, pleading for me to find her, to find hope and strength to carry on.

I knew that voice; it was pulling me home, whispering to me to go home. I knew that sweet voice.

Claire.


	9. Chapter 9

**So um, yeah, enjoy :D **

**And review, don't forget to review because they all make me smile, and a smile makes me happy, being happy makes me creative and being creative leads to chapters hehe :D Thank you for your support people! :D **

**I do not own Twilight**

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The screaming had been the worse it had ever been that night.

I had awoke every hour from the pleading screams of the child, this time she was screaming a name, his name, Quil. Her desperate plea was being met by more adult shouting, more confusion and more crippling aches as I tossed and turned in the small bed, trashing against the tortured pain ripping my heart apart.

As I lay here though, my body was peaceful; the pain had suspiciously settled down during the early hours and allowed my exhausted body to relax slightly. I was in a false sense of security as I lay here, pain free. Knowing that at any minute my failing body would attack me once again.

I opened my eyes, taking in the slanted flow of light dancing through the gapped curtain. The clock on the wall read 11am, it was strangely silent around me, only the soft hum of birds outside stirring any life to the quiet house.

I pushed myself up; wincing as the pain once again raged through me, the peacefulness was officially gone. I gasped as I pushed my legs from the bed; my whole body was shaking from the weak fight I was putting up against the angry pain that was trying to force me back down.

I threw the blankets off me as quickly as possible, trying to force myself from the bed before the true heavy pain began. Dressing myself in light blue skinny jeans and a loose white blouse I brushed my long hair into a swooping ponytail and chucked light make up on before shuffling to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

The house was still silent as I made my way slowly down the stairs, glancing around as I went, it was empty. The doors were shut and everything seemed untouched. I shuffled toward the kitchen; a note was led on the counter.

_Gone to the store, be back soon, Sam's here if you need him. Love Emily x_

Another scribble was underneath hers, a manly scribble.

_Claire, I had to pop out for work, I left you some juice and chopped fruit in the fridge, Embry will be over soon to check on you. Sam _

I smiled, it was nice that they left notes, back home my parents would just leave and not think to let me know where they were. I preferred these little notes, they were cute.

I walked to the fridge, reaching for the glass of fresh orange juice Sam had left in there, next to it was a bowl of cut up fruit, I grabbed it out, gulping the orange juice as I walked to the living room, placing myself gently on a sofa and flicking the TV on.

I sat nibbling on the fruit for an hour, no one had come home, no one had rang, I was just alone. I hated being alone, it made me feel more vulnerable. If my body attacked me then I would be alone, no one to help.

I realised what day it was, if I was home, it would be my check up day at rehab. They would be checking my weight right now, coming to the conclusion that although I had put some weight on and no longer looked like a walking skeleton, I was still too little. Then they would assess my capability to look after myself, mentally and physically. They would be staring at me like I was a bomb, slowly ticking away until I exploded in unexplainable pain and anguish again. Like I had last time. It was only Max and Sarah that believed in me, they were the only ones who knew I had never wanted to get that bad, that I wasn't crazy, they believed me when I said I felt like my life had a huge hole in it, like I was being lied to and kept from something.

Even my parents thought I was a depressed lunatic. I suppose I was, there was no other explanation for my outbursts of emotion, for my negative thoughts or failure to fight for my life. Even now I wasn't fighting; I was sitting around waiting for death to take me.

I glanced around the silent house, suddenly feeling more alone than I had in ages, I felt so small in here by myself. I was longing for someone to come home, to be with me. But everyone was out, and I had no way of getting hold of anyone.

Maybe I should go for a walk, just a little one, maybe. No I would get lost, I would get tired. I stayed sat where I was, trying to focus on the TV but my mind kept slipping, I wanted to go for a walk, something within me was telling me to go for a walk, urging me.

I tried ignoring it, but it kept on and on, it was nearly as loud and painful as the little girls screams at night time, it was pulling harshly at me, forcing me to go outside. The pain in my chest got too much to bare and I pushed myself up from the sofa, walking to the front door and outside, the cold wind hitting me as I hopped down the little steps to the muddy yard. I looked around, trees surrounded the cute house, but there were no paths leading anywhere.

"Claire" The soft enticing voice from my fragmented memories erupted behind me, a gush of wind swept past me, blowing my long hair around my face as I turned toward the whisper of my name.

Nothing was there, the yard was empty. But the wind was carrying my name, a soft loving whisper, pulling me into the trees. I followed the path my heart was setting out in front of me, not thinking about anything as I turned and tripped through the trees that were quickly becoming dense and hard to see through, it was darkening, not from lack of daylight but from the crowded trees blocking light from reaching me. But I didn't feel scared, I felt like I knew where I was going, I was being led to the very place I wanted to be.

I had been walking for a while, my legs were shaking, tiredness rolled through them, but my heart was the worst, it was struggling, straining against each step I took. It was pleading with me to carry on but I had no energy, I needed to sleep. I was shivering from the chilly breeze that swept through the trees, hitting my bare arms as if I was being dropped into iced water. My whole body was in an internal battle, telling me I needed to rest but pushing me further. My poor empty heart filled with the strangest feeling of closeness, I was close to something that it had been longing for but the closeness hurt, I hadn't felt anything like this before. The foreign feeling was tearing at me, clawing at my emotions.

A twig snapped behind me, shooting an echoing sound all around the trees behind me, I span around, my eyes locking on a pair of deep brown eyes, broken eyes.

* * *

**Quil's point of view **

I had ran all night, the scream of my name never stopping, she was calling for me, begging for me. but I couldn't tell if it was reality or a mind trick, she couldn't be there, my feet were being pulled toward La Push, but she couldn't be there, she would never return there, her parents wouldn't let her.

I could hear murmurs in my mind, my pack brothers, I couldn't make out any words but their soft murmurs where present, guiding me back to La Push, to the place I had done so much to escape. No matter how hard I tried to stay away my whole body was being taken, by a force I could not control.

I ran with desperation, dodging the trees as I got further into the tree's I had flown through only a day earlier. My heart was full of a strange feeling, like I was so close to something, to something I had wanted, but I was still so far. I rounded on La Push, being taken toward Sam's house, I tried forcing myself to stop, I couldn't go there, I couldn't go there to be told she had died, I couldn't face that reality. But no matter how much force I used, my wolf kept running, silently running through the woods as a harsh wind whipped through my cold fur, sending shivers down my spine.

The most beautiful scent washed over me, so natural and calming, waves of honey and coconut met my senses and I breathed it in, lingering over every ounce that poured through my senses, it smelt so fresh. It drew me in; I wanted to be near it, whoever it was I needed them near me. I followed the smell that was being carried to me by the wind; my body was warming as each breeze blew a new wave of the smell to me.

My feet pounded against the hard ground as I followed it, I was close, I could hear a heart, and the sound was so beautiful, like music to me, soothing my negative thoughts that still battled within me. I looked around, trying to find the source of the beautiful sound. I could sense someone around me, they were close, I stepped back, standing on a twig as I did, a loud snapping sound echoed through the trees around me and a small gasp let up.

My whole body flew around as I came face to face with the soft heart beat; my body went weak as I took in the sight in front of me. Her eyes snapped on mine, those beautiful hazel eyes. The same beautiful hazel eyes that had entranced me all those years ago, they played on my mind every day of my lonely life.

My heart exploded, my whole body felt as if I was falling, the world around me and her was swirling, being pulled away from us by the sharp wind that gushed around the darkening trees. The loud sound of her childlike giggles drowned out the screaming that shot through my ears as I stared at her. She was pulling me back; my empty heart was scorching hot, sending burning waves of warmth and feeling through me, shooting into every nerve in my body. I was being tied to earth again, her eyes begging me to stay, pleading me to stay with her as my heart painfully scorched within me.

My reason for living was still here. The bond that had lay broken for so long was reconnecting within me, every inch of my body on fire as I took in her beautiful appearance. She was back, she was here. She had come back to me.

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

The pain that ran my life for so long had gone, my body was melting away from the surroundings of trees and bushes, the only thing I could see was those eyes, they were so broken, like in my dreams, but yet they were so fierce, so intense as they stared back at me. I was being pulled to them, I couldn't look away, it felt as if I couldn't look away, I couldn't live without those eyes. My whole body was free from pain, it was light, as if I was flying. My heartfelt full again, I had found my place on earth, it was with those eyes, I wanted so badly to fix them, the broken look they held, I needed to fix it.

Suddenly the wolf let out a whimper before backing off through the trees, each step he took was like a knife to my heart, he couldn't leave, I needed him here, which was crazy because it was a wolf. My whole body shattered, as if I was glass hitting the floor and spraying into a million broken shards. My heart broke as he vanished through the trees; I was empty again, alone again. All hope had been taken, I needed those eyes.

The trees around me started blurring, I was going crazy, I was staring at a wolf, maybe my blood sugar was low, it had to be low, I had to be having some sort of fit, the wolf couldn't be real, a wild wolf would have killed me.

As the desperate need rolled through me I felt it, the emptiness hit me like a brick wall, my whole body crumbling from the loneliness of my life. The world around me was blacking out, my body swayed as nausea rolled over me, joining in with the ragged cuts being driven through my heart. I could feel myself falling, waiting for the impact with the ground that never came; I was falling for what felt like years, falling through eternity, the screaming in my ears was back, it was so loud and painful.

I let out my own anguished scream, begging the whole feeling of my heart to come back, begging the little girl to stop, begging her to be ok. I screamed so loudly I could no longer hear her screams, desperation filled each ounce of my sharp screech, I needed that wolf.

Something strong and warm wrapped around my body as I continued falling, pulling me back up as my feet left the ground and the sound of a thumping heartbeat met my ears, drowning out the screams of both me and the little girl in my head. Everything fell silent before my world blacked out, leaving me to darkness and the soft thuds of the heartbeat that was so soothing to me, easing the pain that was still thundering through my small body as the warmth cradled me, I was being held, someone had caught me as I fell. Their touch was burning me, I had never felt warm, but this was so satisfyingly warm, sending a heat through my body that I had missed for so long.

It felt like home.


	10. Chapter 10

**Quil's point of view**

She was falling, it was as if I was watching in slow motion as her small body fell toward the hard floor, I leapt from my place behind the trees where I had phased back. My big arms swamped around her, cradling her to my chest, our cold bodies met and a furious wave of scorching heat ran through me, sending every inch of me into burning overdrive, the touch of her on me was too much, I couldn't stop myself pulling her closer, gripping onto her with sheer desperation. I could never let her go again.

I turned, walking hurriedly through the overcrowded trees as the cold wind whipped at me once again, this time the cold never met me, the girl in my arms was like a blanket, covering me in the most beautiful warmth. I hadn't felt warm for 16 years, but her touch was relighting the fire within me, my body reaching the high temperatures the other wolves were at.

Her scent over powered me as the wind blew her long dark hair into my face, I had dreamt of this moment, I had longed for the moment I could see her again. I felt like I was floating, watching my dreams play out in reality as I made my way to Sam's house, her soft breathing kept me going as my weak body started snapping itself back to strength, the strength I had once had but lost.

I rounded the last rows of trees and the smell of Emily's kitchen threatened to overpower the scent of the angel in my arms. I held her closer now, breathing in as much of her as I could. I stumbled into the yard, the front doors to the house were open and the guys were stood around indoors, I could see them as their heads snapped to me, the worry on their faces fading to shock as they took in my appearance and a passed out Claire.

"Oh god, Quil where did you find her, where were you?" Sam ran out, guiding me back toward the house as he checked over his niece with his eyes, checking that I hadn't hurt her I suppose. But I could never hurt her, no matter how messed up my head was I could never hurt this beautiful girl.

I stayed silent, walking straight to the house and through the kitchen, ignoring the looks I had from my brothers, her touch was scorching me now, so many questions were rumbling through me. She was dying, Max had said she was dying, she was here, but I would have to watch her die if I stayed, she looked tiny, she felt tiny. I placed her on the sofa carefully, ensuring she was led in a way most peaceful for her, so she could rest. It was hard, letting her go from my arms, but I had all this confusion, all this worry, my heart was aching from it, she was back, but I had no idea how or why. But she was dying, I could feel her weakness as I placed her down, the blanket of strength that had covered our entwined body was fading as I stepped away from her again.

"Is she ok?" Emily ran past me as I made my way back toward my brothers, I was naked still from phasing and before I could even attempt to find some shorts a pair was being thrown at me from the staircase.

"Quil are you ok? What happened?" Embry walked to me as I sat myself on the porch swing, sitting myself down as the strength that had covered me as she lay in my arms disappeared, the ache took over again, the coldness swept through me as I sat in silence.

I couldn't answer, no sound escaped me. Just an overwhelming pain in my heart. I would have to watch her die, I could get her back, just to watch her leave me again.

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

I stirred, my body protesting against my eyes as they tried opening, I was on something soft, the thudding heartbeat in my ears had gone, the warmth that had spread through my weak body had vanished, leaving behind a sore coldness. The loud screech of a TV was playing around me, followed by soft giggles of children.

I opened my eyes, straining to focus on the blur of my surroundings, I looked directly in front of me, a group, a very large group of children were sat on the floor, staring at the TV which I now realised was playing Mary Poppins.

"She's awake!" One of the kids, a boy, turned to me, smiling as he called out.

A chair scraped and within seconds Emily was peering down at me, her own smile plastered on her scarred face.

"Hey honey, you ok?" Her soft voice soothed me, calming the confusion that rumbled around my brain.

"I think so" I groaned as I pushed myself up from the sofa, my aching body was calmer than usual but the fierce shot of pain still made me wince slightly.

"I think you should eat something, build your strength" She held her hand out, helping me to my feet as my legs shook violently beneath me.

"Sure" I grumbled as she led me to the kitchen, I didn't look around as I sat down, I could feel everyone there.

"What happened?" My voice was raspy and I glanced up, my eyes meeting Sam's, he seemed sad as he watched me sip water.

"You collapsed again, our friend found you and brought you home" Sam answered, he had baby Bobby on his hip, even Bobby looked sad as they both watched me.

"You feeling ok or are you in pain?" I turned at the woman's voice, Rachel was sat with Paul by the stairs, she smiled at me but she seemed nervous.

I guess I felt ok, there was pain in my chest and my legs were weak, but I had been through worse, I remembered worse. Before I collapsed, I had felt so broken, pain had seeped through me so violently. This was nothing compared to that.

"Ok I guess"

I glanced around, Jared and Kim were here, so was Nessie and Jake, but then it was just Embry, he was stood by the door, I looked at him his head was turned slightly as if watching from the corner of his eyes through the door behind him. My eyes followed the glance, falling on the porch behind him, through the open door I could make out someone, sat watching me from the swinging chair. It was dark, but I could make out someone sat there. My eyes were drawn to him, his body was big, not as big as the others here but still big. But I couldn't see his face. My whole body fell into a painless silence as I stared harder, trying to see who it was. The screams erupted in my ears once again, this time softer, this time saying a name. Quil, the girl was screaming for Quil.

"Claire I have your tablets, I found them in your room, do you need to take them?" Emily walked to me, placing my familiar pot of pills in front of me; I stole my stare from the unknown person and glanced at the tablets, pain echoing around my cold heart again. I guess I did, but I didn't want them.

"I think we should book you in with a doctor here, to watch over you and check you are ok" Emily continued as she watched me taking the pills, the painkillers first, and then the anti depressants.

I nodded at her, sooner or later I would need a doctor.

Forced conversation took over, people tried to lighten the mood around me but I zoned out, my eyes fell firmly on the dark body on the porch, Embry hovered nervously by the door, he had noticed my stares. My body felt like it was being pulled, like I needed to go out there, but I couldn't bring myself to get up, my legs were too tired.

"Here, you need to eat, your blood sugars may be off or something, I will book you in with a doctor tomorrow"

A plate of food was plonked in front of me and I nodded at Emily, she sounded nervous as she hovered around the small kitchen table. My eyes never left the porch. I needed to go out there.

Without any warning the dark body flew from its seat, running down the porch steps and into the darkness. Embry jumped from the door and walked out after him as the guys fell silent around me.

My body deflated, like my spark had gone, the person was drawing all my attention and strength, but he was gone.

"Uhh eat up Claire" Emily smiled nervously as everyone stared at me, I didn't have the strength to eat, I just stared at the dark yard which had stolen my light.

...

* * *

I lay silently in bed, listening as the clock ticked from my bedside table, watching the moonlight dance around the ceiling, it was beautifully peaceful. But I couldn't sleep; the screaming was still the soft call of the name, trying to call for him. It wasn't disturbing me like the screams; it was soothing in a strange way.

There was a rustle of trees outside, a hoot of a owl, a growl of a wolf. My heart stopped, sending shivers through my frozen body. A growl, a wolf, my wolf. My wolf, the one who had made me feel so strange earlier, the wolf with the beautiful eyes and soothing manner.

I was being called, not by my name, but my heart was being pulled, as if someone was calling for me. An eruption of strength washed through me, urging me from my small bed. I threw the covers back, walking slowly through the dark room toward the stairs. The strength pushed me on, the call of my heart beckoning me down the dark steep stairs, creaking slightly as I rounded the ground floor of the silent house.

I walked through the front door, shutting it quietly as I went.

Nothing was out here, just the dancing light of the moon against the rustling trees. I walked to the porch swing, sitting myself down and curling my bare legs to my body, I was only in pyjama shorts and a strappy top. The cold wind blew on me, but the coldness was no worse than my normal body temperature. I stared at the trees, something was there, and my eyes were being drawn to it, I just couldn't see what it was. I hoped it was that wolf. I needed those eyes, it was like my life depended on it.

I was sat in silence for a while, the wind blowing violently at my small body. An eruption of rustles to the left of the house sprung my attention back from my dreams of the eyes. I turned to look, not sure what I was expecting but a man, the silhouette of a man fairly big, was shuffling slowly toward me.

It should have scared me, a girl sat alone in the dark being approached by a fairly large man should be frightening, but it calmed me, I knew I had nothing to fear with him. My heart was scuttering around within my chest, wanting to see more, begging for him to show his face.

It was him, the guy from earlier, who had ran off so suddenly. My heart was calling for him to come to me, begging, the little girl was growing louder in my ears, almost deafening as she called the person she so heavily longed for.

The man stopped as he reached the stairs leading to me, the mood shone on his beautiful face. He looked young, but aged, like he had lived a thousand painful years but still had a thousand left to live. Everything about him screamed familiarity, his slightly messed hair that danced with silkiness amongst the wind, but I felt like I had known him, he was almost a distant memory to me.

He got closer, his walk was nervous and slow as he stopped not far from my place on the swing. The porch lamp came on, it was movement censored, it wasn't bright, but bright enough to light up his face that I already knew was beautiful.

My eyes travelled over him, leading to his eyes. I stopped, the familiar feeling hitting me as a wave of strength and warmth sprang to life from my dormant heart. Those eyes, so broken, so hurt but yet so loving, it was if they were speaking to me, joining in with the soft begs of the girl. He had the eyes of my wolf, the one who had left me so broken earlier. I knew him, his eyes had haunted my dreams for 16 years, his warmth that ran through me now had scorned me only hours earlier. I had spent so long listening to the girl screaming for him, now he was stood in front of me her screams had stopped.

He moved toward me again, this time lowering his big body onto the swing which creaked under the weight. I shivered, the cold air that blew from the trees hit me, like it had never hit me before, I could feel the wind as it soared down on us.

The man unzipped his jacket, handing it to me silently as he looked over my body with his broken eyes. I took it, my heart not allowing me to deny the offer of kindness. He was looking over me carefully, soaking up every inch of my frail body, he looked sadder, his eyes now glistened with what looked like tears.

I wrapped his jacket around myself, new warmth washed through me; the wind blew around me again, sending the most enticing scent across my senses. It was woodsy, like fresh rain and grass, I could help but inhale a deep breath of it, it made every hair on my body stand up in excitement, it was such a luring smell.

"Claire" The soft broken voice sounded from next to me, I glanced up, meeting this person's stare full on. His voice was a rumble, manly, but it had a vulnerable and broken crack to it, like he would break any second.

We stared in silence for a minute, neither of us moving or saying anything. I was mesmerized by the beautiful swirling patterns dancing on his face from the bright moon, lighting up his eyes which although they looked so hurt, yet they were still beautiful.

"Quil" I whispered against the howl of the wind, he froze slightly, staring down at me. His broken eyes sparkled for less than a second before falling again, he looked tired, troubled as he shut them tightly, breathing in harshly like he was struggling. An urgent pull on my heart tore my stare from him.

It was a comfortable silence, like I had waited my whole life for this, to be sat in silence with someone, my pain from my body had ceased completely and the constant echoes of the girls screams had faded, replaced by a beautiful silence I had prayed for for so long.

As we sat there, the curious feeling from earlier washed over me again, I felt like I could finally relax, like I was home, where I belonged. The wind had fallen slightly, it was a soft breeze guiding my tired eyes to sleep, my body fell back into the cushions, falling into utter relaxation and peacefulness, Quil's soft breathing was like a song as I shut my eyes, no screaming, no fragmented memories, just contentment filled me. The hole in my heart was closing over as warmth from the body next to me filled me like a radiator. I had never felt so comfortable and safe; the darkness of my sleep blanketed my body, entering the first nightmare free sleep in 16 years.

* * *

**Ok my amazing readers, so now we can get into the Quil/Claire real story hehee :D I shall try get the next chapter up before I go away to Greece but don't worry, I am only gone for a week so I won't keep you waiting for long! :D**

**I do not own Twilight**

**Review please :D **


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok so I couldn't leave you for a week without another chapter, so here is my final chapter before I sun myself up in Greece :D I am from England, so I feel I deserve a week in the sun, although I will miss writing! I am too addicted to this site haha :D but anyway, enjoy and I shall be sure you post AS soon as I get home :D Also let me know what you think could happen next :D**

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews, to my regular reviewers you are all amazing, and your support means the world. To my guest reviewers you are equally amazing, so thank you **

**Review! **

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

"Claire wake up, I wanna play with you" A little voice was whining at me as I squeezed my eyes shut more, hoping it would go away.

"She won't wake up" It whined again, a little louder this time.

"Sweetie she's sleeping leave her alone" A soft male voice flew out at me; I think it was Embry; his usually gruff voice was strangely soothing.

"But Embry I wanna play" The girl whined again, I groaned, she was not giving up.

"Suzie leave them alone, they look peaceful" Emily scorned now; her motherly voice rang in authority.

"Fine but Uncle Qwil is not asleep he's awake, he just won't talk to me he never talks to me" Suzie sounded angry as a patter of footsteps signalled she had left.

Quil? Quil was still with me?

My body was still warm, my bare legs being blanketed from the cold breeze that hit my face as I stirred from my curled position. I opened my eyes slowly, meeting Quil's beautiful brown eyes; he was watching me closely, his tired features looking as pained as they had last night.

A yawn escaped me as I sat myself up, Quil moved, shifting his body from mine. He hadn't been holding me; he was just close to me. As I sat up I realised there was no pain, my body wasn't making me wince like it normally did. There was a tiny ache but nothing bad, more like I had slept awkwardly.

"Oh you are awake, sorry we tried keeping her quiet, Kim had to go to work so she's here for the day" Emily rushed out, smiling down at me as I let myself come around.

I glanced at Quil, his eyes hadn't left me, he was still watching every move I made, his eyes glistening with broken concern.

"You two want some food? It's nearly lunch time you looked too peaceful to wake up" Emily rushed around us, picking up various children's toys that were strewn across the porch as she went.

"Sure, I just need to shower" I croaked slightly, my eyes not leaving Quil's, there was still no pain, just a weird feeling of contentment.

We had stayed out here with one another all night, slept next to each other, but we had hardly spoken, just whispered names. It was strange, I suppose I should be freaked out but I wasn't, I was just drawn in by his tortured beauty, I couldn't figure out whether he looked old or young, I suppose if I put a age on him, I would say a he was no older than 24, but his eyes were older, that could be caused by the broken look they held. His skin was pale, he looked slightly ill. But through it all he was still so beautiful, drawing me in.

"Claire?" Emily's voice shot through me, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Sorry what" I shook my head, tearing my eyes from Quil's to look at my aunt; she was frowning, watching the exchange between Quil and I.

"I was just saying you should put warm clothes on, I don't want you to catch a chill" She frowned more, her eyes falling on Quil beside me.

I nodded; standing myself up, as I did Quil flew up from his space, mirroring my actions.

I started toward the door but stopped, turning back to look at Quil, he hadn't moved an inch, he was just watching me, and the strangest expression had taken a hold of his face. He looked scared almost.

"Will you be here when I come back down?" My voice shook, I hadn't really spoke to him, just stared and slept on him. I suppose this was weird but I didn't want him to go anywhere.

He just nodded, not letting out even the smallest of sounds. He still looked scared as he followed me with his eyes as I walked into the kitchen.

Emily and Embry smiled at me as I walked through toward the stairs, Suzie was watching the TV with Bobby and the twins, and they paid no attention to me. I ran upstairs, my body still pain free and fairly strong. I suppose I had slept for a good few hours last night, no nightmares had disturbed me while I lay with Quil, the scared girl had stayed silent for once.

I hopped in the shower, gasping as the scorching hot water burnt my skin. I leapt back out, turning the cold water up as I went; I had never felt that before, the water had never burned me. I stared at the water, steam was coming from my hot skin, it had never burned me, never not once.

Something was happening; I could feel my body rebuilding its strength as I stood under the warm water, the gap in my heart was slowly closing, the grief I had lived with for so long was fading away ever so slightly. Every time I shut my eyes, the torn face of Quil would flash across my mind, luring me closer to him, the urgent need of the little girl springing back to life as I felt the distance grow between us again. She wanted to be near him.

...

* * *

"You slept ok last night?" Emily smiled at me from across the table, Sam had joined us for lunch, Embry was sat next to Quil, shooting him strange looks from time to time.

"Yeah, the pain seems to have eased up, I am still aching and feel a bit tired but the pain is nowhere near as bad as it has been in the past" I replied, smiling at her as she ate her food.

"Fresh air does you good I suppose" Embry joined in, his face was nervous though as he made an obviously head jerk to Sam then to Quil.

"Yeah fresh air" Sam mumbled, his own forehead creased in a confused frown.

"How about you Quil, you sleep well?" It was back to Emily, I snapped my head toward the eyes that filled my dreams, he nodded, but he didn't smile, or open his mouth, or do anything, he wasn't even eating really, he just nibbled on a sandwich and sipped his water.

"You feeling any better today buddy?" Embry smiled and nudged his friend he looked desperate for an answer, but Quil just shrugged, his eyes not leaving his plate.

"Oh Claire, I rang the hospital, they have an appointment for you but it's not until next week, so until then we just got to keep you eating enough food and resting a lot, but you look better today so I'm not too worried" Emily beamed at me, nodding encouragingly like my mom used to when she would send me in for yet another test on my failing body.

"Sure, I can text Sarah and get her to send forward all my notes over if you like, I just need a doctors name I think" I guess Sarah would be safer than my actual doctor, he would tell my parents where I was.

"Who's Sarah?" Embry grumbled as he shoved more food into his already crammed mouth.

I stopped eating, my stomach flipped, Sarah, how do I describe Sarah? I glanced at Quil, he was watching me with interest, but as I met his stare he went back to looking frightened and turned his head away.

"Umm, she's a nurse, but I suppose she's a counsellor too, I was assigned to her when I was in rehab, I was her first case so she became sort of attached" I mumbled, praying they wouldn't ask why I was in rehab at 17.

"Rehab? Like the place celebs go when they take too many drugs" Sam looked over at me, slightly confused.

"Umm, it was more of a rehab centre for people who um, well, it focused on people with issues, like depression, I was there for depression. I got admitted after I umm, tried to umm, I kind of had a slight melt down about two years ago, I tried to kill myself"

Before I could go on Quil started choking in his seat, he had a glass raised to his lips but the water he had taken in came spluttering back out, his eyes were wide with shock as he gasped for air, he dropped the glass, sending it to the floor with a loud smash as it shattered. Embry started banging against his back, trying to dislodge the water that had obviously started choking him.

"Ok fella, cough it up" Embry patted him again as his breathing for easier, his red face turned pale again and he looked at me, more scared than he had looked earlier, his eyes were streaming with tears from his lack of oxygen.

"Uhh Quil drink more carefully man" Sam laughed nervously, trying to cover up the fact I had caused Quil to nearly choke to death.

I glanced back at Quil, he was staring at me, his eyes wide, as if he was petrified of me. He stayed silent as the guys patted his back, making sure he was ok.

"Umm you're ok now though right? No like suicidal thoughts or anything?" Embry asked nervously as he sat back down, his eyes running down my arms, looking for the tattoos the other one had noticed the other day, my jumper was hiding them though, so he shot his eyes back to mine.

"Yeah, I guess, I mean they still have me on anti depressants and stuff, but I don't even know what happened. I kind of flipped out suddenly, I stopped eating and drinking, my nightmares got worse just this constant screaming, I could barely walk, I stopped going to school, I just felt really lost, confused and empty, then one day it got too much, I felt this urgency to like end it all I suppose like there was no reason for me to live anymore. My parents found me, and then Sarah helped me kind off, I don't know, I try not to think about it" I finished, glancing back up from my plate, Emily looked upset again, Sam and Embry however were firmly watching Quil.

I looked over at him, he was shaking slightly, his face had paled even more and he looked as if he was going into shock or something.

"Is he ok?" I asked no one in particular and no one answered me, everyone just stayed silent, watching as Quil started shaking more violently.

"Quil" I decided to break the silence, they were just watching him. He snapped his head toward me, his shaking vanished within seconds but the paleness of his face got worse, I reached out toward him but he shuddered away from my touch before leaping from his chair and storming outside.

"He umm doesn't talk much, he's not a people person" Embry smiled trying to offer me some sort of support as he backed out of the room with Sam after Quil.

I sat in silence, I wasn't sure what I had done, but he seemed scared to death of me, and he shuddered like he hated me. Suddenly the warmth that had filled me earlier was gone, it had left the minute he left, the pain in my heart was screaming again, filling my body in a writhing pain that made me want to collapse in tears. I had no idea what I had done, but suddenly it felt like my body was caving in, he hated me.

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

I ran hard through the trees, letting my wolf explode around me, the usual buzzing entered my head, blocking the mumbles of my pack brothers out. Keeping them from my mind as I pounded against the hard floor toward the La Push cliffs.

She was supposed to have a happy life, her parents took her away to keep her safe from the life I led, but she hadn't been happy, she hadn't been safe.

I failed; I should have known she was unhappy, I should have found her. She was hurting, she was alone, and she could hear the screams I could hear. She could hear herself, except I don't think she knew it was her own screams. She thought it was a nightmare. It was a nightmare, the nightmare of the reality we had both been forced to live.

I was scared, scared to be around her, in case it made it worse, she would get attached; the pull to me would hurt her more. She couldn't form a bond with someone if she was leaving, she was dying, I would start to love her all over again, and she would be taken. I couldn't trust myself to get close to her, I could never protect her before so what would change now, why would I be able to protect her now. I couldn't do anything for her.

It was a mess, everything was a mess. I was a mess, she was a mess, but she was beautiful and my whole body yearned for her, I ached to make her better, I ached to let myself speak to her, to allow myself to get close to her but I was too scared, scared to lose her. It was just a mess.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hola my lovely readers :D I am back! Hope you enjoyed my last update, this ones not got much Quil in it I am afraid, its focusing more on Claire and her sickness. I did play with having Carlisle as her doctor but I realised, she is in Forks hospital, 16 years after she left, so he would have had to move on by now due to the no aging thing and so I don't feel I can have him in it as her doctor, I may bring him in eventually though. **

**Anyway, thank you for your support and amazing reviews, keep it up and as usual any ideas or changes you have let me know :D **

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own Twilight#**

* * *

The days following the lunch with Quil fell into a routine, the nightmares were back, this time worse, the little girl in my head had become so desperate, it had woke me up several times in my own fits of screams.

I couldn't eat much, my stomach too weak to handle it anymore, I would just sit around, occasionally playing with Bobby, or helping Emily make the huge dinners that seemed to take place most nights. Mostly it was just the single guys who came, but once or twice everyone had turned up.

Quil had been here every day but he was he stayed silent, staring at me from the corner of the room, the same frightened expression on his pale face. I scared him, I had come to the conclusion that I had obviously done something to him when I was younger that scared him so much he now hated me. But even through the weirdness around him, I was still being drawn to him, I still wanted him around, the pain was lighter when he was. The little girl was silenced when he was around.

I was even more confused about the age of the guys around me, Emily had let me watch old videos, which turned out to be a mistake, the guys hadn't aged a day, and maybe they had an older aura about them, but look wise they seemed to be frozen in time. When I asked her, she told me they just looked after themselves, but I felt as if she was lying, no amount of workouts, beauty creams or health regimes could keep you that young and refreshed. But I reminded myself, that even if they were "family" I still hardly knew them, therefore it wasn't my place to poke around asking questions.

Today was the day, my first doctor's appointment in La Push. Well, Forks, that was the nearest hospital. But I didn't want to go, I didn't want to be told I had weeks, or months, or however long this new doctor would put on my life. I had been enjoying myself here, by day I was surrounded by people who didn't linger too long on my scarred wrists, which didn't focus on how much I was eating or how long it took me to walk from one place to another. They looked at me like I was a person, not an ill kid who needed looking after.

Sarah had sent my information over, I had text her to ask. She asked no questions, she just did it. Max had been texting me, ensuring I was ok, he had sent mom and dad on false trails, telling them I had gone to the places I had gone with my friend Melanie, she was the terminally ill friend, we had done a bit of travelling before she died, taking her to the places she had always wanted to go. We were only 16, but I was allowed to go due to the fact she was dying, I had met her during my time being treated for the cancer I did not have. She died right before my meltdown. So currently, my parents were back tracking my steps, New York, Chicago and Vegas. Although Max had no idea where they currently were, they had left him at home. They had always put me before him, over worrying about me, over protecting me while they left my kid brother to do whatever the hell he wanted.

"Claire you ready?" Emily popped her head around the door to my borrowed room; I glanced up and nodded, checking over my outfit. Black leggings and a baggy top with some old converse, it would do. It was only a doctor appointment.

I walked down stairs, stopping as I fell into the kitchen, Quil was sat at the table watching me, and his face was petrified again as my eyes fell on his. He seemed frozen as the room fell silent from Bobby's screams.

My aching body fell silent, the aches dying down as he stared at me.

He wouldn't talk to me, he didn't seem to talk to anyone, he would barely eat or drink, he would just sit in silence. He made me curious, I wanted to know everything about him, I wanted to make him better, but I had no idea how to, I couldn't even get him to smile at me. The most contact we had was the first night he was back, he switched after that, staying back from my touch.

"Claire come on we don't want to be late" Emily called from the porch where she was stood with Sam and Bobby, I nodded, pulling myself from the stare I was sharing with Quil.

He made no movement, just watched me as I walked out. I turned at the door and smiled.

"Bye Quil" I tried sounding cheery, hoping that I would get a reply, I didn't he just nodded his head and lifted his pursed lips slightly as if trying to smile. But his eyes stayed flat, the warmth ran from my body, he hated me, it was official he crapped himself every time he saw me.

...

* * *

The hospital was smaller than the one I was used to, San Francisco was big and bustling, but this was tiny, and pretty empty. The nurses were even huddled into a group, giggling and chatting about their weekend plans like they had nothing better to be doing, they looked more like a bunch of teenage girls than nurses.

One of them had been interrupted by a doctor, she looked thoroughly annoyed as she was told to take me down to labs, she barely talked to me, I guess I had interrupted her gossip session. After I was pricked with needles and forced to do a urine sample I was carted off to X-ray by the same grumpy nurse so they could look closer at the damaged heart within my aching chest. I hated X-ray, the machines made the most annoying and slightly scary grumbling noise, I should be used to it by now, but I wasn't. I then had an ultrasound to check my organs lower down, again the nurse was not impressed that she was carting some dying teenager around while her friends stood gossiping.

Finally I was wheeled to a examination room, where I was forced to put on the white cotton open backed hospital gown, the nurse finally showed some slight bedside manner and got worried I would get too cold as the air conditioning was blowing full blast on to my small body but her worry soon faded as the other nurses let up a cackle of laughter from the hallway. And truthfully, I couldn't even feel the air con.

"Claire Taylor"

I glanced around, the room only had me in so I had no idea who this doctor was talking to as they knocked the closed door.

"Claire Taylor? Hello?"

The light voice of the female doctor who was now poking her head around my door confused me again, nope not Taylor. I stayed quiet, figuring she would realise she was in the wrong room.

"Claire Taylor are you ignoring me?" She smiled at me as she pushed the door open and walked in.

"Uhh my names Bennett" I mumbled as she walked over to me, she squinted down at her notes and frowned.

"Yeah see I got confused there too, your notes that I got from San Francisco say Bennett, but the form your aunt filled in says Taylor" The woman in front of me was young, blonde and very smiley, although her smile was a little forced as she waited for my answer.

"I umm, I have no idea, but its Bennett" I smiled back, she seemed nice enough, not as nice as Shay but I had chosen to move from him therefore I couldn't be picky. I didn't linger on the name thing, Emily probably forgot or something, I had been gone a while.

"Right, well anyway, I am Doctor Kennedy, I have been making myself familiar with your case, and you really are intriguing. Been the subject of many conversations with me and the big guy here" She smiled as she stood next to me as I lay on the bed. The big guy, the head of medicine, I wonder how long it will take for him to come down and poke around with me.

"I can imagine" I tried to smile, but I hated when these new doctors seemed all excited by my case, there was nothing exciting about it.

"Anyway, back to the reason you are here, do you want me to call your aunt in?" She smiled again, popping the notes on me on the table next to her. I shook my head, Emily would just cry and make it worse when I was told how long I had.

"Ok, I'm just going to do a few tests if you don't mind"

"No problem"

I led back as she listened carefully to my heartbeat, she was gentle and gave nothing away as she nodded to herself and wrote in her notes. She checked my blood pressure and my weight, still not giving anything away but a gentle kind smile. She was too professional, I preferred it when the doctor made confused faces, or got annoyed while they ran their tests. It provided me with entertainment as they scratched their heads and mumbled to themselves, but this woman was way to professionally correct.

"Interesting, I'm just going to check for your blood samples see if they have been sent up yet" She smiled again before leaving the room.

I barely had time to think before she ran back in, her previously calm face was screwed in the panic I normally loved to see, but this wasn't as entertaining, she looked genuinely worried and confused as she stared at the paper in front of her. Great, it was definitely the "I have to tell a kid she's about to die" look. My heart dropped, how would I tell this to the guys and Emily, they were all being so friendly and kind, I couldn't tell them now I was on my last legs, I mean, they knew I was dying, but I figured I had time left, I didn't even feel that bad, I had imagine this moment to be me bed ridden and smelly, not walking around healthily.

"Eurgh, that bad? Weeks? Months?"

I groaned and fell back again onto the soft bed, she would only lose her cool if she was about to lose her amazingly interesting patient. My heart started hurting again, I had just started getting to know everyone, and I would be ripped from them. It was selfish of me to come here, if I had stayed home none of them would be the wiser.

"Umm actually, I think I need to ring Dr Edmunds, this is a bit strange, I don't understand" She mumbled to herself as she paced back and forth, reading the paper over and over again.

Panic sprung within me, she couldn't ring him, he would tell my parents where I was. Oh crap.

"No you can't, he umm, retired" I fumbled slightly, unsure of what excuse I could use here.

She didn't look at me, she didn't even acknowledge my crap excuse, she just stared at the paper, mumbling different things to herself.

"I just, your blood work, it well, I, hmm" She sat down, twiddling her fingers around and around.

I made a grabbing movement for the paper, Shay had taught me some stuff, so I kind of knew how to read the results, he used to let me play around with the paper, he thought it would be easier for a kid to be more involved in the result process than to just sit and say well sorry not cancer this time, maybe next time we will find out why your slowly dying.

She handed them to me and moved to the bed, peering over my shoulder.

I scanned the sheet, it was a chart comparing my last tests to the ones they carried out today.

Urine Protein, the same. BUN, the same. BNP, slight drop, UACR, the same. LFT, the same. U&E, the same. FBC, normal. I continued scanning, every now and then there was a drop in something, it was nil for blood and urine infections, but then again it mostly was. I frowned, it had been a couple of weeks, Shay had said I was advanced stages, I should be worse by now, my other organs should be failing, but my lungs, my kidney, my liver, they were all normal or the same as before.

"But I, my doctor said I was advanced" I mumbled out, passing the paper back to Doctor Kennedy, she nodded with me before walking to her laptop and scrolling through something.

"Your X-rays were good too, nothing's changed, and it's as if the failure has frozen, but that's impossible, you were given no medication or anything, it should be worse. I mean, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, its brilliant but it's just confusing" She sat down, looking a little deflated as she stared at my results.

My heart tugged at me, I was unsure now, I didn't want to get excited, it might be a fluke, but then, I had been feeling better, I had felt more rested here, less empty.

"Have you had any new pain or any easing of pain? Any change at all?" She looked at me, still frowning.

"Umm, not really, maybe easing up slightly here and there but nothing I would call a breakthrough" I mumbled, tears were stinging my eyes, I didn't know what to think, I had psyched myself up to be told a time frame, not to be told I was in a stable condition.

"Don't be upset, this is good, really good, I mean I wouldn't say your cured but your stable, your condition is no worse yet no better. Which for now is remarkable, you must be doing something right honey" She smiled again, this time it wasn't professional it was genuine, she looked really happy as she beamed down at me.

"So I think I want to see you every two weeks for now, to keep on top of it, follow it more to see what its doing, in the meantime, carry on whatever it is your doing. One thing I am not happy with is your weight, your still underweight for your height and age and all that, but from your notes you've been this weight for a while, so I guess I should say it's good that there's no drastic drop there either" She stopped, placing a hand on my shoulder as I sat myself up.

"This is good news for now Claire, get rest and make sure you're eating well, I look forward to seeing you in two weeks. Now I am sure your aunt is nervous as hell so go give her some good news. See you soon"

She patted me before walking out, my whole body fell back, staring at the ceiling, and I didn't know what to think. I had spent years being dragged around, looking for a cure to my unknown disease, they finally find what's been killing me, I refuse any treatment, and my messed up body starts healing itself.

I guess I should be relieved, but I just felt scared, as if my body was tricking me, waiting to pounce out and attack me when I least expected it. But I suppose, I should just enjoy it for now, deal with the crap later. For now I had time, and people did say that time heals; maybe La Push was helping me after all.

...


	13. Chapter 13

As we pulled up in the front yard to Emily's family home I noticed a few more cars than usual, they were trucks, so I guessed some of the guys were here. I hadn't said much to Emily, just told her there was not much change and I was stable for the time being. She had cried as I had predicted, squealing that she would do a big dinner to celebrate.

I got out of her car, walking toward the house that boomed with the sound of laughter. Butterflies swam in my stomach, I didn't want to explain it to everyone, I didn't want to excite everyone like I had Emily. They would get hopeful, then it would all be torn away.

As I walked to the front door the laughter died down to a soft murmur of talking, Emily was behind me, nudging me in to the room as I stopped myself by the door.

"Claire!" Suzie came running through the kitchen, barrelling into me with such force my unprepared body went flying back into Emily.

"Woah Suzie calm down" Jared yelled as Emily steadied me, the little girl still squeezing my waist tightly.

"Suzie I told you to stay with the other kids" A female voice spoke out, I looked up Kim was sat with Jared; shooting motherly glares at her daughter who wouldn't let me go as I shuffled into the crowded room.

"But I love Claire I want to see her" Suzie's sweet voice was muffled as her head buried itself into my top, I smoothed her hair and smiled, I liked this kid. The others kind of stayed to their toys but Suzie was older for her age, she would often sit with me or run around after Embry.

"Ok ok honey, why don't you go get the others and go outside, play hide and seek" Emily walked around us, pulling the little kid from my body and pushing her toward the living room.

"Sorry, she seems a little obsessed with you" Kim smiled at me and shook her head embarrassed by her daughter's clinginess to me.

I just smiled back, not really trusting my voice as I made my way to the empty stool by the kitchen island. I stopped as I realised Quil sat on the stairs, watching me, his face etched with worry and concern, he looked pale again, like he would throw up any minute. I tore my eyes from him, taking in the people around me, Jared and Kim were here, Sam, Embry, Jake and Nessie, everyone else was missing.

Emily walked back in and made her way to me, the house fell silent as the kids ran outside through the back door.

"So how was it?" Kim was the one to break the silence, she smiled encouragingly at me and I let out a long sigh.

Here it goes. My eyes fell onto Quil who had tensed up, waiting for my response, he wouldn't meet my stare, his eyes dodging around the room.

"Well, nothing seems to have changed; a few things have cleared up slightly. My weight is still under, but she isn't too worried about it, but everything else seems ok, no infections, no advancement on the organ failure, she said it seems to have frozen. But she doesn't want to say I'm getting better, I'm just stable I suppose. I have another appointment in two weeks to track it closely but for now I'm ok" My voice was small, saying it all out loud was so much different than saying it in my head, I felt relief wash through me, I was ok for now.

"That's really good Claire!" Nessie beamed from her place in Jake's lap, the guys all started smiling at me, their faces lighting up in what I perceived to be hope as they took in my words.

"Now we just have to fatten you up" Embry teased from his seat, he was nibbling on a muffin and held it out for me.

"No she has to eat healthily, not like you pigs" Emily scorned, slapping the muffin away from me as he started chuckling to himself as he continued to try pass the muffin to me.

I smiled, if I was at home with my parents there would be tears and shouting about treatments and phone calls to new doctors. This was much more relaxed, they didn't linger on it too much, and they just absorbed the information and went on with it, it kept me calm. When I was home, my parents would get me worked up, but here I was comfortable and at peace with the news I had been given.

I glanced over at Quil, he had his head in his hands, his body shaking as it had last week, but this time it was softer shakes, as if he was upset, crying maybe. I frowned, Embry was still watching me and he followed my stare, the room quietened down, Jake reached out and patted Quil's leg, drawing his attention to the room.

He looked up, his hurt eyes falling straight to me, they sparkled for a split second before falling dead again, his face taking up its usual scared pose as he stood from the step and walked from the house, shutting the door quietly as he went outside.

"I'll go" Embry stood up, sighing as if this was a regular occurrence for him, I realised it was, Quil often walked out, and Embry was mostly the one who followed him.

"No, I will" Nessie stood up, pushing Embry back as she walked from the house.

I glanced behind me to Emily and Sam, they were both avoiding my look, sad expressions ran over their kind faces. Something was wrong, I had the feeling there was a secret, about Quil. I guess about all of them.

The relief that had washed over me only minutes earlier was gone, replaced by a distant feeling of loneliness, of longing for something that seemed so far away. As the feeling took over my aching heart a lonely howl let up outside, it sounded conflicted. No one said anything, but my mind travelled to those eyes, Quil's eyes, the wolf's eyes.

...

* * *

I jolted from my sleep, the screams still echoing distantly around my pained ears, it had been so bad, the screaming had ripped right through me, causing my whole body to flame in angry pain. My breathing was ragged, a cold sweat was running over my shaking body. The most overwhelming sense of fear was running through me, I was scared, I was losing something that was so important to me. I couldn't lose it, but I couldn't find it either, it was lost.

I was thirsty, my throat was scratching at itself, clawing for a drink. I threw myself from the bed, the unbearable pain gripping my chest as I pushed my tired legs down the creaky stairs toward the kitchen, the light was on, a low sound was coming from the room below. It was 2am, the clock on the stairs shone in the darkness as I etched closer to the bottom step. The kitchen was empty, the sound was coming from the living room, I popped my head around, and Sam was sat on the sofa, watching the TV. He looked across as I stepped down onto the wooden floor; he frowned, and then smiled at me.

"Claire, you ok?" He stood up, slowly making his way toward where I was stood.

"Yeah, I had a nightmare, I needed a drink" My scratching throat made my voice raspy, like I was forcing myself to speak.

"Oh sure, I'll grab you some juice" He strode over to the fridge, grabbing out a carton of orange juice and grabbed me a glass, pouring it out before walking back to me and holding it out.

I took it, gulping it down, the cold wetness was welcomed to my dry throat, washing the screams away as I took more down. I gasped as I stopped, I had drunk until I could no longer breathe, but I still needed more, my throat was the driest it had ever been, the screams had broken through my own throat, I had probably woken Sam.

"Thirsty?" He smiled before turning back to the living room and sitting down on the sofa again.

"Thanks" I mumbled, I didn't know what to do, I didn't want to go back upstairs, I didn't want to be alone to the screaming, but I couldn't just interrupt Sam. So I lingered in the kitchen for a moment, unsure of what to do.

"You can come in here you know" Sam's gruff voice broke through the awkward silence I had built and I relaxed a little, walking in and curling up in the arm chair next to the sofa.

I glanced at the TV, I recognised the show instantly Max loved it, Dog the bounty hunter. I had been forced to watch it constantly back home, I had even grown to secretly love it, it was so trashy, yet so good.

"Sorry, I can change it if you want, it's my guilty pleasure" Sam smirked as he dug his hand in a bag of chips, shoving a handful in his mouth.

"Oh know, Max makes me watch this all the time, I'm used to it. I love it, secretly of course, but Beth is definitely my favourite, it's ridiculous, who would wear what she does on a bounty to catch a criminal, like really her nails are as long as one of my toes" I smiled now, gulping more of my juice down. I hadn't talked to Sam much, it was nice, even if slightly weird, to finally be around him.

"I know, she annoys me, my favourite is the little old guy who works for them, what's his name you know the one who shuffles in from time to time but never says much?" Sam chuckled as he looked at me, I nodded I knew who he was on about.

"Wesley, I think" I laughed now, I watched this show way too much.

"Yes I think it is" Sam chucked the chips to me, I took a handful and chucked the bag back.

"So why are you down here at 2am?" I munched on the crunchy goodness as I mumbled to Sam, it was late, or early, depending on how you looked at it.

"Waiting for my shift to start, I start at 2.30, so there was no point in going to bed" He shrugged as if it was normal, I realised I had no idea what these guys worked as, I knew there was the garage, but they couldn't work there this late.

"The garage?" I asked, I was sure Seth said something about Sam and the garage.

"Well, I own that but we are kind of like security for the rez, so we patrol at night, make sure nothing happens you know"

"Like police?" I wondered, I had never seen them in a uniform.

"Yeah kind of but we do it for free and we don't get the cool uniforms" He smiled as he said it, his eyes placed firmly on the TV.

"See the uniform would be a deal breaker for me, no uniform, no patrols" I smiled, I was joking, trying to lighten my mood which was battling to become depressive again.

"That's something Seth would say, I guess you are related" He laughed to himself, Seth? I was related to Seth?

"How am I related to Seth?"

"Sue who is his mom, was Emily and your mom's aunt, so your grandmothers sister, so Seth is your cousin? I think, maybe, I don't know, second cousin maybe" He seemed to be confusing himself as he thought it over, but I understood him, I think I was second cousin.

"Am I related to anyone else out of the guys?"

"No, Leah is Seth's sister, so your cousin, but she moved away when she got married, she lives up in Seattle" His eyes flickered with something, like an old memory or emotion, but I couldn't figure it out.

We were silent for a while, staring at the TV, I wasn't paying attention, my mind was going over the guys, one guy in particular, Quil. The screaming perked up again, longing for him. Curiosity got the better of me and I turned to Sam, I needed to know what I did to make Quil hate me so bad.

"Sam?"

"Yeah" He looked over at me as my small voice questioned him.

"Why is Quil so scared of me? He looks petrified when he's around me, he won't look at me in the eyes and he won't speak to me, it's like he hates me" Even I felt bad for me, I sounded slightly pathetic as I said the last part. I glanced at Sam, he was smiling sadly at me.

"Uhh Quil, well, Quil is, he's very, well, he's just been through a lot. He doesn't talk to anyone; I haven't heard him speak in what, years maybe? He doesn't hate you. He has trust issues, he doesn't trust anyone anymore, someone hurt him a lot a few years back, since then he's been cut off, like a shell I suppose" He stopped, sighed heavily then smiled again.

"Don't worry Claire, he will come around, maybe you could help him. He could use a friend, someone that's not one of the guys"

Friends? How can you be friends with someone who is so damned confusing?

The front door squeaked open and Sam stood up.

"I'm off, don't worry about it too much Claire, I am sure everything will be fine" He smiled at me before walking to the door, he did that hand shake pull in thing that guys do with Embry who had opened the door before running out.

Embry stopped and looked at me, smiling but his eyes were sad, as if he felt bad for me. Had he heard my patheticness? He couldn't have, he wasn't here. He nodded at me before leaving again.

I settled back into the chair, my eyes staring lazily at the screen as it flashed against the dark room. Quil intrigued me, he watched me so closely, yet wouldn't meet my eyes, he was scared of me, yet he seemed interested in me

* * *

**Quil's Point of view**

Her screams were tearing through me again, it was too much, I couldn't hold in my pain, a tortured scream erupted in my chest, ripping through my throat and piercing the quiet house around me.

My whole body was writhing, her pain too unbearable, she was hurt. She was hurt and I could do nothing but feel it.

"Quil Quil, oh god, Quil shhh your ok, Quil calm down" Nessie's soft voice broke over my yells as a babies cry echoed the reality around me, I had woken the baby.

"Quil, your ok just breathe through it"

My bedside lamp flicked on, Nessie was sat on the edge of my bed, smoothing my hair as I lay panting, I could hear Jacob with the baby, calming its cries. I hated the sound of babies crying.

"A nightmare? The same one?" I made no movement to her question but she understood, she always did, she just nodded sadly.

"Quil, you heard her tonight, she's fine at the minute, maybe you should let yourself get to know her again. She's your imprint Quil, she's Claire, you've waited so long for her to come back to you, and now she's back. I get your scared she will leave again, but she's here for now, that's better than nothing surely, I've seen her looking at you, she wants to get to know you. You never know, imprint is a powerful thing, it could I don't know, make you both better?" She smiled down at me, my breathing was normal again but I still said and did nothing, just stared at her.

"I'll be just down the hall if you need me, sweet dreams" She bent down, kissing my head slightly, I winced, I hated contact, the touch of their skin burnt me horribly.

I just watched as she left the room. She was right, I needed to talk to Claire, but I had said nothing for years, never having a reason to, my throat felt so weak now, like it was impossible to make a sound. Make us better, it couldn't, our imprint had only ever done one thing, tear me down, hurt us both, she had felt the emptiness, I had felt the pain.

I couldn't stay here, I needed to get out, do something. I crawled from my cold bed, pulling on shorts and a jumper before running from the house, ignoring the looks I got from Jacob and Ness as I went. I did this most nights, but tonight I actually had somewhere to go. I had slept so peacefully with her, if I could get close enough, maybe I could sleep again. I was so tired, years of wrecked sleep was playing with me finally making me even weaker.

I let my feet carry me, pounding their way through the icy night toward her, the darkness engulfing me as I ran further into the trees. My body was weak but I kept on, desperate for the peace from the pain that her presence offered me.

As I rounded on the yard I stopped, the house was dark, the only light flashing from the living room windows, the TV. I walked closer, a soft heart beat singing to me through the whistling wind. As I stepped up the porch steps I glanced through the window, Claire, she was curled up on the sofa, the TV flashing around her but she was looking at something in her lap, a picture frame.

The pain in my chest eased as I looked down on her, she was beautiful, even at this hour of the night.

I opened the door softly, making no noise as I entered the dark house, she didn't look up, she hadn't heard me, she just stared at the picture.

"What happened to you Quil?" She sighed, her hand running through her hair.

My heart stopped, what happened to me? She left me is what happened to me, her parents ripped my heart out. Tears stung my eyes, a fresh wave of pain ran through me, her pain, she was hurting. I shuffled my feet slightly, the floor boards creaked beneath me and Claire let out a scared shriek before flying up from her chair, the picture frame fell to the floor, my eyes scanned in on it. I recognised the picture, it was one Emily had taken just weeks before she left, it was her, three year old Claire, and she was cuddling me tightly, kissing my cheek as I laughed happily. It used to be my favourite picture, now it was my worst, the pain it caused so fresh.

"Quil, I didn't see you" Her panicked voice grabbed my attention back.

I walked forward, slowly trying not to scare her even more, her beautiful face was pale, like she was tired, her voice slightly raspy as if she had a dry throat. Her eyes fixed on mine, following me as I walked toward her.

"Are you ok? You look ill" She tried again, I opened my mouth wanting to say something, but I couldn't get anything out.

"It's strange, that picture, it was like 16 years ago but your face, you haven't aged, except your eyes" She stepped toward me, my body froze as her hand came up, her fingers running softly over my cheek, a long forgotten heat ran through me, the spark from her touch warmed my whole body, as if I had been set on fire. No wince came like it did with other people, I wanted her touch, it comforted me.

"You aren't going to talk are you? I'm sorry if I ever did anything to hurt or upset you, I know you don't like me very much but I hope I haven't upset you in any way" Her soft voice tore at me, she thinks I hate her, I don't hate her, I need her, desperately need her. I had needed her for 16 years, Nessie was right, she was here, close enough for me to grab, for me to fix this mess, I was scared about her leaving me again, but I shouldn't be. I should be happy that I have her right now; this was what I had always wanted. I fought against the lump in my throat, desperate to say something, I bit back the pain that ate at me as I forced the words out, finally letting myself be heard.

"I don't hate you, I'm scared to lose you again"

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**Leave a review pretty please? :D He finally spoke! :D **

**You all seem to have disappeared; I hope your still reading! :D Anyway, thank you for the support as usual xx**


	14. Chapter 14

**Oh my lord, all your reviews are brilliant! ;D thank you so so so much, I am so relieved I can finally write actual speech for Quil, anyway, enjoy this chapter and keep up the amazing support :D Don't worry Karu, I won't be rushing into anything, they both need time to adjust to one another :D **

**Anyway ENJOY! **

**I do not own Twilight.**

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"I don't hate you; I'm scared to lose you again"

The breath that was working its way up my throat stopped suddenly, choking me into a frozen state. He just spoke, as in more than whispering my name. Quil spoke to me. He actually spoke real words.

His voice was raspy, croaking like he hadn't used it in a while; he hadn't used it while I was here so I guess that had been a while. He actually spoke, my eyes began stinging as I stared at the guy in front of me; he suddenly seemed smaller, more vulnerable than before as he shuffled around. I blinked, letting moisture dampen my dry staring eyes; the breath that had caught dislodged itself and came out in a slight gasp.

"I could never hate you, so don't ever say that again" He spoke again, his paled body flushing furiously as I stared up at him, his calm eyes not leaving mine.

He doesn't hate me, although it was good to know, it didn't help explain the weirdness, how could someone who seemed to care so little about me, be so scared about losing me. As for the again bit, that was just a whole new level of confusion.

"You don't talk to me" My own voice was pathetic, a soft whisper that was covered with the shock I was currently feeling.

"I don't talk to anyone" His voice was getting stronger, the beautiful rough tone of it sending slight shivers through me, he had the most amazing voice.

"So why are you talking to me now?" The room had got warmer, the weak tiredness that had previously engulfed my cold legs had vanished and the scratching of my throat calmed.

He said nothing, he just looked at his feet; he seemed ashamed of something, guilty perhaps.

"Would you like to take a walk with me?" He looked back up, the guilt had been replaced by desperation, his eyes pleading at me, it tore my heart at how frightened he seemed.

"Of course"

He turned walking to the door without another word, whereas I began searching for a jumper of some sort, I noticed one hung up by the fridge, I think it was Sam's it was massive. I tugged it on and it fell to my knees, it was like a dress. I looked ridiculous but it was all I had so I rolled with it, walking to Quil who was now waiting at the bottom of the porch steps.

His face stayed plain as I stopped next to him, I glanced back at the dark house, everyone was asleep, it was ridiculously late. The trees were blowing in the wind and soft rustling of leaves echoed around the silent yard. Quil started walking toward the tree's, the dark scary tree's that always appeared in horror movies where girls got killed in the woods.

"Wait, you're not going to kill me right?"

Quil stopped, his head snapped around to look at me and his face was mirroring utter confusion.

"Kill you?" His brows burrowed more, making him look even more confused if that were at all possible.

"Yeah because it really would be annoying if I had battled against illness's for 16 years, be able to fight off organ failure with no drugs, jus to then be murdered in the woods by a guy who doesn't seem to age. I mean, it would make a good story, go out with a bang and all that but I umm, just don't really want to die the day I find out my organs have halted their mission to kill me" I stopped my rant as I realised the ever so slight amusement creeping onto Quil's beautiful face.

"I can assure you I am not going to kill you Claire" He was smirking ever so slightly, but his eyes seemed to be lingering on a thought that frightened him. I guessed the thought, organ failure; it frightened most people, me dying. Everyone wore that look when they found out a little girl like myself would be gone soon, a life wasted.

"And tonight, neither are my organs, so let's get going before I start thinking of horror movies involving woods" I smiled trying to lighten his internal misery. He nodded, smiling back slightly but he still looked immensely sad.

We walked in silence; it was a nice silence, as nice as silence could be anyway. But I was craving to hear his voice, hoping pathetically he would make light conversation, but knowing that he wouldn't. I suppose he had only started talking tonight, I couldn't ask much more than that.

"The cabin in the woods" Quil's soft voice broke the silence, he had a mischievous look about him as he said it, his eyes darting to me.

"You what?"

"The cabin in the woods, a scary film involving woods, there is also Last house on the left, Blair witch, and then you got the typical ones like Texas Chainsaw"

"The company of wolves" I stuttered, the horrible murderous thoughts entering my head, he was only playing, but I was damned bad with horrors.

"Excuse me?" He coughed as if choking on something, his walked halted and he turned to look at me, a little startled.

"The company of wolves? Its a crap old horror basically like red riding hood, the wolf eats people and what not, it's not really scary but my brother and his friends made me watch it when I was 5 and I've crapped myself about it since" I had stopped too, my shivering body becoming slightly scared, I had seen a wolf in La Push, what if it was here and ate me?

"Right, I haven't seen that one" He began walking again, as if trying to ignore the previous fun he was having terrorising me.

It fell silent again as we continued to walk for what seemed miles, my legs not feeling tired, my body was ache free and my heart had stopped hurting. Back home I could barely make it from my bed to the toilet without collapsing in pain, so this was truly a miracle.

"Where are we going?" The curiosity finally got the better of me as the trees began thinning.

He said nothing, just smiled, his smile was bigger than it had been, his eyes even sparkled slightly in the moonlight as he looked down at me. My heart fluttered, he was breathtaking, everything about him was just startlingly beautiful.

I realised I had been staring at him for a bit too long as I stumbled onto a different surface, my feet suddenly sinking slightly rather than pounding against harsh earth. I snapped away from Quil, looking around me, my breath stopped in my throat again, it was stunning. I was on a beach, I recognised it instantly, it seemed so familiar, then again everything about this place was familiar. The moonlight was dancing on the soft waves that hit the shore with a rumbling crash.

"This is so pretty, it would be perfect for a"

Before I could finish Quil interrupted, a smile playing his lips.

"Wedding" His voice was light, his eyes no longer filled with sadness but with memories, happy memories.

"Huh?"

"You used to say to me all the time, Quil one day I'm going to get married on this beach, Aunt Em will be my bridesmaid and Uncle Sam can carry me down the aisle because my dress will get sandy if I walk" His eyes sparkled, happier than I had ever seen him, the emotion that had never been there before danced over his face as he grinned widely.

I smiled too, the thought of a wedding here was nice, distant but nice. I probably wouldn't ever be married, for one, I wouldn't be here long enough to get married, and secondly, no one would want a dying girl. But I guess it could be a nice distant dream, something to aim for.

Quil seemed to be realising the same thing as his face dropped back to sadness, regret filling his eyes as his smile faded, leaving just a slight shadow of the happiness he had been in just seconds ago. The curious thought came into my head, wondering who could have caused this man so much pain, which had torn his world away. I could never hurt him, he seemed too precious, too vulnerable, and every inch of me was fighting the urge to grab him, hold him and tell him it would all be ok. I wanted to ease the pain he was obviously in. The person or people who had done this to him were horrible.

"We spent a lot of time together when I was little then?" I peered up at the sad man in front of me, hoping his happiness would come back. I wouldn't bring up the age thing, I couldn't, I wasn't even bothered by it right now, I just needed his smile.

"Yeah" His voice cracked, still no smile, just sadness of distant memories dashing his brown eyes.

"Were we close?"

"As close as you could be with a three year old, I used to look after you a lot" He still seemed sad, my heart was back to aching, a faint pain that could only be described as heartache.

"You were forced into the babysitting then, pulled the short straw?" I smiled, but not even that triggered a smile from him.

"No, I loved spending time with you, I was never forced into it, never" He seemed quick, frantic to answer, he was panicky all of a sudden. The ache in my heart grew but nerves fluttered my belly.

"So what would we do? Describe a day in the life of being friends with Claire Bennett?"

"Bennett?" His head snapped up, his eyes searching me, confusion seeping from him. What was with the name thing? This was the second time someone seemed confused.

"My surname?"

"It's Taylor, Claire Taylor, Claire Amarie Taylor" The name rolled so beautifully from his lips, his voice softened, he spoke with emotion, real emotion now.

"No, Claire Annabelle Bennett, not Amarie Taylor, the doctor said Emily called me Taylor too. But I've never heard it"

"Changed your god damned name" He mumbled, he seemed angry, he shook his head as his breathing got heavier. Who changed my name? Everything was becoming more and more confusing.

"Quil, it's just a mix up with names, it's fine. I want to know more about my past, if you're ok to tell me that is" I was speaking quietly, afraid to upset him more, my aim of making him mile had failed so far. I couldn't let a name mix up ruin it all. I could ask Emily later.

"I should get you back, Emily will go mad if she finds you gone" He seemed off again, his blank face was back, the scared look in his eyes was now mixed with anger and before I could protest he turned back up the beach, walking quickly toward the trees we had no long come from.

I stayed silent as we walked back, the name thing had pissed him off, or upset him, I hadn't figured out which one yet. As we reached the front porch I turned to say goodbye but he had already taken off into the trees.

"Bye then Quil, nice talking to you" I mumbled it sarcastically to myself but as I said it he stopped, his body tensing and his head snapping to the side slightly as if listening, I stayed quiet, unsure of whether I had spoken louder than I had wanted and he lurched himself back into a fast walk through the dark tree line.

I groaned, pushing myself up the steps and through the kitchen door, it was still dark and empty, the clock read 4.30am. I walked to the stairs, each step I took shot a fresh pain through me, the stairs making me weaker as I climbed, and my whole body began screaming for sleep, I had pushed myself too much. Worn myself out, I was longing for my bed.

As usual, as soon as I lay down the screaming started, this time it was quieter, not so desperate, but she still needed him, Quil. The tone to the screaming mirrored the pain in my heart, the heartbreak, the emptiness. It was like the girl was echoing my emotions, like she was me.

The girl screaming was she me? The voices, they were my mom and Emily, fighting over me and I was screaming, pleading for Quil. My heart hammered, what had happened? It couldn't have been me; I couldn't be hearing myself, all these years? But I knew it, dread flooded my body like iced water. My eyes flew open, she was me.


	15. Chapter 15

_**Quil's point of view**_

Anger raged within me, my whole body shaking as I paced around the kitchen table, Sam, Emily and Embry were all sat watching me in silence as I shook. I hadn't spoke to them yet, only Claire, they had been staring at me like this since I stormed in 15 minutes ago.

"Quil what's happened?" Emily's caring voice spoke out first, baby Bobby was sleeping in her lap so she was whispering quietly.

I stopped pacing, letting myself calm down slightly as the words built up within my scratchy throat. I turned my head up toward the stairs, listening out for her; the shower water was still running so I had time to talk to them about her little revelation.

"They changed her name" The words slipped out in more of a growl than the soft statement I was hoping, my anger got the best of me. They had been sly, changed it so we couldn't find them, they had really wanted to keep her from us, me.

I turned back to my family, the three of them were sat gaping at me mouths open in shock as I actually answered a question, the first time in years. I sighed annoyed; this wasn't the time for this they needed to know how sly those bastards had been.

"Her parents changed her name, she thinks its Bennett. Claire Annabelle Bennett. That's why I couldn't find her, all those years of searching; they had made sure it impossible to find her." My hand went slamming into the table, everyone jumped as the crash sounded, Bobby screeched awake and Emily rushed up from her seat bouncing him trying to sooth the screams.

"Ok buddy calm down, it's ok she's back now, we can tell her everything, explain that the name was changed and it will be fine" Embry stood up, placing a hand on my shoulder as shakes exploded from my skin.

"No we can't tell her that, she will hate her parents for it" Emily whisper shouted from her place by the stove where she was heating up a bottle for Bobby.

"I don't care if she hates her parents for it, they ruined everything, they lied to her and took her from her god damned family because they were selfish assholes, Jesus Christ Emily she's been living this whole other life that's a complete lie. She needs to know the truth" I turned slamming my fist into the banister of the stairs but I came face to face with a terrified looking Claire. She jumped backwards falling onto the steps as my hand went barrelling down onto the wood that shook from the force.

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**Claire's point of view**

I could hear mumbling downstairs, angry voices as I pulled my shorts and top on. My hair hung damp down my back, dripping slowly onto the floor behind me.

Bobby began screaming and more voices followed, someone was arguing, who the hell was that?

I turned to my door opening it slowly before creeping toward the stairs.

"She will hate her parents for it" Emily's voice was calm but firm, I frowned, who would hate her parents for what?

I crept more down the stairs, the kitchen came into view. Quil was shaking; as if livid with anger, Embry was stood next to him just staring while Sam sat at the table and Emily by the stove. Everyone was looking at Quil, no one noticed as I slid further down the stairs.

"I don't care if she hates her parents for it, they ruined everything, they lied to her and took her from her god damned family because they were selfish assholes, Jesus Christ Emily she's been living this whole other life that's a complete lie. She needs to know the truth" Quil roared, his voice so different to the soft one from last night. He turned suddenly, nearly knocking me over as I rounded on the last step; my whole body lurched back as he launched a massive punch into the wooden banister beside me. I winced as I hit the hard steps behind me, my back cracking against the wooden edge.

"Claire" Quil's voice lowered; there was no anger, just a frantic panic as he paled.

"You ok?" Embry was beside us in an instant, his hot hands covered my arms and he pulled me up to my feet and steadied me as Quil stared in shock, he looked like he would throw up any second.

"Yeah just startled" I edged around the two guys, walking more toward Sam who hadn't moved, he was just watching curiously at the scene in front of him.

"I am so sorry I didn't realise you were there" Quil paled even more, he was acting as if he had actually hit me. He had scared me a little but I know he would never hurt anyone, especially me.

I ignored it, I was focused on the words he was shouting just minutes before. About the truth, someone being lied to. He hadn't said a name but I was certain it was me. I looked across at Emily, her face was sad, tears swimming in her eyes as she stared right back at me. It was me.

"Who needs to know the truth?" My voice crackled slightly, Sam finally moved, his body twisting awkwardly as he watched me. He too looked sad, conflicted almost. His eyes flickered to Quil who was still in shock from nearly punching me. No one said a word; they all just looked at one another.

"What truth?" I pushed again, this time trying Embry who was biting his lip as if trying to keep himself from saying something.

"Claire sit down honey" Emily was the one to speak, she walked past me with Bobby and went straight to the living room, I watched her as she sat him down in his little play pen and turned back to the kitchen, pulling out a chair for me as she herself sat down next to Sam.

"Sit" She urged again, this time pushing the chair with her foot. They all wore expressions that I imagine resembled death, like when you were about to be told someone died. My stomach lurched, what if my parents were hurt or something had happened? I had just left them, what if they were going crazy searching and gotten hurt? It would be my fault. I collapsed into the chair, letting my body slouch over the table as Embry sat on the stairs I had just fell onto and Quil stayed stood staring at me.

"Claire, what did your parents tell you about us? About why you left?" Sam asked, his gruff voice sounding tired but concerned. I looked at him and frowned, why did that matter? He must have understood my confusion because he spoke again. "We just need to figure some stuff out, nothing's wrong" He smiled lightly now but he still looked weird.

"Umm, my mom and Emily had a fight about something; they thought it was dangerous here so they moved away. I'm not sure they don't ever talk about it"

Quil pulled a chair out and flopped into it, his eyes not leaving me, his shakes had calmed but he still looked distressed, my heart ached for him, he seemed so sad.

"You know nothing about your life here before you left?" Emily questioned, sipping her water as she watched me.

"No, I found a few pictures of me, with you guys, it was strange you haven't changed. But that's it" Sam stiffened as I mentioned the pictures, I watched his eyes flicker to Embry and Quil before landing back on me, he seemed nervous now like I had touched on something he didn't want me touching on.

"We aren't dangerous Claire, your parents just didn't really understand us. They got into a fight with Emily and took you away, you were here, playing with Quil at the time. They wouldn't let us explain and they ran away. We tried looking for you but it was as if you vanished" Sam stopped, looking at Quil as if letting him carry on.

"You said your name was Bennett, it isn't, and they changed your name to keep us from finding you. You name is Taylor, Claire Amarie Taylor, you birthday is January 22nd. That's your real information Claire, whatever you believe from them is a lie" He sounded bitter, like he hated my parents. I frowned, Taylor, what was with the Taylor name, it couldn't be true. My parents wouldn't change my information, that wasn't even my birthday, not even close.

"No my birthday is August 4th. Look I think you got me confused, I am Claire Bennett, not Taylor. My parents are Steve and Amelia Bennett, a lawyer and a school teacher" I spoke slowly, as if talking to a child. They were crazy.

Quil shook his head while Emily frowned harder, her smile completely gone.

"You're dad is an accountant and your moms a nurse Claire, Simon and Amy" Emily spoke slowly back to me, confusion seeping from her. What the hell was this?

"What? So you're saying my parents changed everything, names, birthdays and jobs just to keep you from finding us?" I looked at Quil, he nodded, his shaking was back, only slightly but he seemed pissed.

"Claire trust us, you were 3 when they took you, I was here, I knew your family I knew everything. You birthday, your full name, your parents jobs, everything. What you have been told is a lie they took you and made it impossible for us to find you. I searched for years, I tried everything but it was as if you had died, your details were wiped" Quil spoke firmly, his eyes were dripping in truth, he wasn't lying.

I felt sick, my stomach turned and my head went light and faint. My parents had taken me from my family, basically kidnapped me but legally I suppose. The girl screaming, it was me, the day they took me, I had been screaming for my family that I was being taken from. My parents had caused so much pain.

"Why would they take me? What is so bad they would do that?" I looked to Sam for answers, he seemed the most authoritive. He however was looking at Emily, who nodded slowly and carefully while Embry took a big breath.

"Now you need to listen carefully, don't jump to conclusions here; don't do what your mom did ok?" Sam sat up straight as if going into some sort of control.

I nodded but I felt nervous, like I was about to be told they were all serial killers or something, or maybe they were in a weird cult. Either way I felt sick and I didn't like it. Everything was tense and uncomfortable as Quil went rigid next to me.

"The Quileute tribe, us, we have legends. Like old folk stories. Ours revolve around wolves, our descendants. Basically the story goes that the men of the tribe turn into wolves to protect our land and people from danger, like the cold ones, commonly known as vampires. There's different stories, I can tell you them in more detail if you like but basically that's it, we umm are shape shifters, we turn into wolves, protect the tribe, our families. We tried telling your parents, but they went a bit crazy, blamed us for all this stuff we hadn't done, said we were dangerous. But we aren't" He stopped; watching me as I went even fainter, wolves, there was no way in hell they turned into wolves. It was impossible.

I stared around at each person here, each face stared back in firm stances, all of them agreeing with Sam's little tale. I let out a slightly hysterical laugh before shaking my head. No way in hell.

"That's...impossible" I looked at Quil, those eyes, wolf eyes. No, not wolf eyes the wolf was not real.

"No it isn't, you saw me Claire, the first time we met, you saw my wolf before you saw me. In the trees, before you fainted it was me you saw" Quil's voice was low as if whispering only to me. I jumped back from my chair, I hadn't told anyone I saw a wolf, he wouldn't know that. Unless he was there. No he wasn't a wolf.

Maybe he was, he had those eyes, they were all stupidly big and intimidating, they ran around half naked. Sam had said they "protected" La Push last night, before he left for "work". What the hell was this? Oh crap. I should not have come back here. This was a huge mistake.

"Don't freak out, the age thing you said yourself we haven't changed it's because when we phase, or turn into wolves if you like, well we stop aging. Claire listen, we aren't dangerous, we protect people not hurt them." Embry finally stood up and spoke his voice calm and truthful as he watched me have a freak out. My breathing was heavy, I felt like I couldn't breathe.

The screaming was back, louder than ever but with it was talking, a little girl, me. She was giggling and yapping about wolves and best friends. I couldn't hear over my screams, she was conflicted, part of her screaming part of her trying to remember. I guess it was me that was conflicted but I was so used to her just being a little girl. I was shaking, my breathing heavier than ever, I was going to faint, I needed fresh air; I was going to throw up.

I pushed myself past Embry and flew through the front door and down the steps. The fresh air hit me and calmed the nausea that ran around my stomach, but I was still buzzing. I couldn't understand it, my whole mind was a jumbled mess.

"Claire wait up" Quil, his frantic voice flew down after me as I walked away from the house.

"What?" I snapped harsher than I meant to and Quil appeared in front of me, his colour was back in his face but he looked panicked.

"Don't leave, I can't handle it again, I've been so crap without you around. Just believe me, we aren't dangerous, and none of us would ever hurt you and I know it's just so shit and weird but it's true, you know it is" His words were soft as his scorching hand slipped into mine, pulling me closer to him slightly. The buzzing drowned out, the screaming faded and the little voice was the only one to remain.

"_Quil is my best friend and he is a wolfy, wolfy wolfy, he goes woof woof woof and AWWWOOO outside my window. He watches me to make sure I am safe you know, every night. He's a good wolf though" _

The little voice chirped as if informing someone of something she thought was amazing, but her words soothed me, my innocent memories so full of truth. He was good. My parents had got it wrong.

His hand slipped back out of mine, and the screaming softly worked itself back up. I frowned, whenever he was with me the screaming was gone or quieter, my pain was lifted and my body felt young again, like it should at 19.

"So you're a wolf?" I asked, it felt weird but right, like all my confusion had been answered.

"Yeah" His short answer hurt me slightly; it was like he had suddenly cut himself off from me again. He seemed awkward, like he didn't want to be here.

"And you haven't aged for how long?"

"About 17 years" Again he was curt with me.

"So how old are you?"

"I stopped aging at 17, my body reached mid 20's but technically I am 33" He stopped, as if unsure of himself.

That wasn't that old, not really. And going by his body he was 25 maybe. But it was weird.

"I was with you when they came and took me?" I wanted him to stay stood by me forever so the questions kept rolling from me, anything to prolong him near me.

"Yeah" He went awkward suddenly, his face slipped into pain, like he didn't want to answer. But it only made me more curious.

"What were we doing?"

"Playing hide and seek, you hid under the table every time but I pretended not to know" He smiled, only lightly but it was something. I couldn't help but smile too.

"Well I haven't improved much now; I still go to the table" I chuckled and he smiled more but it was short, his face soon dropped back to a pained expression. The screaming ignited again.

"They came, your parents. They took you right out of here without listening to us; you started umm, yelling for me. But I couldn't stop them. I should've tried harder" He gulped, a guilty flash flickered his eyes, he blamed himself.

"I get nightmares" It came spiralling out before I could stop it, I wanted to tell him everything. He stopped, his body freezing as he looked at me.

He nodded, his eyes dimming to yet another sad shadowy look.

"I can hear a little girl, she screams, desperately screaming for someone, and I can hear voices, woman fighting and crying, the screaming is me isn't it? And the women are Emily and my mom. A few times there's a name, yours. It hurts, as if I can feel the pain, it's so intense" I looked up at him, his eyes were moist, what seemed like tears were springing up. He looked in pain, the memories flashing across him and he started wincing, his head shaking from side to side, as if trying to stop whatever was going through him.

"I can't" His voice cracked again, the horrible crack before tears fell, soaking his tanned cheeks. Pain ripped at my chest, I had hurt him. My parents had hurt him when they took me. I couldn't understand why he had cared so much for a three year old but I didn't care, all I cared about was that they had caused him to be like this.

"Quil what is it?" I placed my hands on his cheeks, cupping his face to me so he was looking at me. As our skin met a flash of heat erupted, causing a comforting warmth to run through me, sparking up and down my cold body.

"I can hear you, all the time, the screams, I can't take it anymore" He cried harder, his whole body shaking.

"What happened to me was what happened to you, what's happening to you right now. I don't understand, they took you to protect you but its hurt you more. You can feel what I feel, you weren't supposed to, it's supposed to be just me but you feel it too. I can't handle it" He was frantic, his words making little sense to me. I steadied his shaking head, his eyes finally placed onto mine.

"What is going on?" I trying sounded calm but my panic was obvious.

"I need to get someone, I need to check something" He mumbled more, his voice barely audible before he ripped himself from me and ran to the trees.

The pain erupted the minute I could no longer see him, my whole body went faint from it, the bursting fire that ripped at my heart. I turned, stumbling back to the house where Sam, Embry and Emily all sat waiting for me.

They looked up at me as I fell in through the door, the pain was worse than ever, lashing out fiercely.

"Claire what's wrong, honey what's wrong?" Emily rushed forward grabbing me as my legs gave out.

"He left me again, he always runs off and leaves me and it hurts every time he goes" I was crying, I didn't know why but I was. I felt empty again and cold. Sam stood up suddenly, his face dropping into realization of some sort.

"Oh shit. Umm Em make sure she's ok, I need to do something"

He mumbled, dazed as Quil was as he went running past us, Emily was struggling as she tried dragging me to the sofa, Embry hadn't moved, I glanced at him, it was as if he was slowly realizing something as well. I had no idea what was going on but I was going into information overload, my brain buzzed from screaming and the revelations that the guys around me were wolves, but worst of all was the pain, the pain that only stopped when Quil was near. It was like I needed him, I desperately needed him.

Emily lowered me onto the sofa and I snuggled into the blanket that she threw on me, I stared at the TV that was flashing with bright lights from the kids show that was on, the lights dazed me, sending me into a nap that I hadn't wanted but happily took. A slight escape from the constant pain and emptiness.

* * *

_**Quil's point of view**_

How I hadn't seen it before was stupid, it was obvious, she was so much better when I was there, I was so much better. The pain was gone, she looked so alive, I felt so alive. I had been so stupid.

"Who is that?"

"Do we have a new wolf?"

"What's going on?"

"Quil? Is that Quil?"

The voices of my pack brothers spoke out to my wolf's mind as I ran through the trees, the wall I had built blocking them out had fallen as I sprung into life.

"Quil! Man your back!" Jacob cheered out as he ran to meet me.

"Quil where you going man?" Collin yapped as he ran after me, I pushed harder.

"He's going to Carlisle, I think we know what was wrong with Claire" It was Sam who appeared now, having just phased in he spoke straight away, speaking the words that were on my mind.

Carlisle, I needed Carlisle, he would be able to help. I had a chance to fix her, to fix my Claire and me. I just hoped to god I was right.

* * *

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**I do not own Twilight**

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	16. Chapter 16

**Claire's point of view**

The room around me had been silent, so silent for so long, only Emily fluttered in and out, checking on me before leaving again. But suddenly there was a bustling of noise, male voices erupted, echoing from the walls and hitting my aching body like a pile of sharp knives. The sound causing even more aching pain to erupt through me, it had been so bad, at one stage I thought it was the end, that my body had finally given a huge middle finger up to me and given up.

"What do you mean tied to you? As in felt what you did?" The most beautiful voice travelled to me, the tone so soft and silky, even more enticing than Quils. I tried opening my eyes, to find the source of the voice but I couldn't, my eyes were so heavy, so so heavy.

"It's normal for imprints Carlisle, we all feel tied to one another's feelings" Sam, Sam's gruff voice responded, he was closer than the beautiful voice, near enough that he sudden eruption had caused me to slightly jump in surprise.

What's an imprint? Is that not what animals do, like ducks and chickens? Did Sam have ducks, baby ducks were so cute, maybe he had bought ducks. No, he had said we, maybe they turned into ducks as well as wolves. Well now I was just being an ass, they couldn't turn into ducks.

"Yes but she never really knew him, she shouldn't have surely?" A males voice, I couldn't tell who it was, they all sounded the same, gruff and husky at times, although this one sounded slightly angry, Paul maybe, it wasn't like he was angry, he just always seemed to have a angry tone to his voice.

"Well how else do you explain it Paul? Everything she gets, is what I get, down to a freaking T" Quil, the aching in my body halted, my whole body sprang alight as his velvet voice trickled through me, sending the nicest shivers across my cold skin. Who was he talking about? The girl who had hurt him maybe?

"I'll take a look; you have her doctor's notes?" The silk voice was back, moving closer as footsteps tapped the kitchen floor.

"Yes I have copies here" Emily's light voice sprang up; confusion ate at me, what was this a family get together?

There was a shuffle of feet and the front door slammed shut, the slam triggered an eruption of pain in my chest, it was worse than ever, I couldn't hold in the pain filled yell that left my lips, my eyes flew open as my lurched forward, clutching at my heart. It was tight, as if having a heart attack, my breathing was harsh and full, like I couldn't get it out of my throat, the pain just got worse, this was it, my heart was failing.

"Oh god Claire" Emily appeared in front of me, dropping a pile of papers to the floor as she clutched on to my shoulders, tears were streaming down my face as the pain became burning, I couldn't handle it, it was too painful.

"Lie back sweetheart, stop tensing your body you'll just make the pain worse, where hurts?" The beautiful silky voice, its owner was finally in my line of view, through the pain and tears he stood out like a shining beacon of light, his pale skin glowing against the natural light that seeped through the windows of the living room. His golden eyes sparkling down at me as he lent over, placing me firmly back down against the sofa. He was out of this world good looking, blonde hair and thin pink lips. I frowned, who was he?

I could feel the frown building on my face as the beautiful man stared at me, the pain was so bad but my confusion over him was bigger, I was on an Native reservation, so who the hell was this pale man standing in front of me?

"My name's Carlisle Cullen, I am a doctor, now can you point to where the pain is" He smiled, genuine, I looked at Emily for reassurance and she gave it. Steadily I lifted my aching arm to point at my left side of my chest, he nodded at me.

"Do you take pain meds?" He looked down at the scramble of paper Emily had dropped, I tried speaking but nothing came out just a slight groan of pain. Where was Quil? He was here a minute ago, I glanced around the house, it was empty, no one was here, just Carlisle, Emily and myself. And Bobby who was flat out asleep in his play pen.

"Yes she does I have them over here" Emily leapt up and ran to the kitchen slamming cupboards around as she searched for them.

"What are they called?" Carlisle called over the slamming, I tried to answer that too but again, just a grunt came out.

"I can't pronounce it" Emily sounded frantic as she slammed the cupboards harder.

"Ok don't worry, now have you had this pain before?" Carlisle looked back down to me, he was professionally smooth as he checked my pulse in my wrist. I nodded again, but I couldn't tell him out loud that it hadn't been this bad before.

"Do pain meds help?"

No, I shook my head, squinting at the shot of pain that burnt down my neck at the movement.

"Does anything help?" Again, I shook my head, I could see the frustration in his eyes as he scrambled around, trying to figure out how to help and what to do with me.

The pain suddenly began easing, as if something was slowly washing over me, pushing all the aches away with force. The door creaked open and footsteps hammered in on the hard floor.

"What the hells happened?" Quil, his voice was frantic as he sped over to me, I clutched my chest still but the pain had lowered, it was simply what I would describe as heart burn now.

"She just started screeching in pain, we don't know" Emily walked back over, frowning at me as my face dropped back to normal and my groans calmed.

"I only left for two minutes how did she get like this?" Quil backed off slightly, confusing eating his beautiful features.

"You left, and she, wait no way, that cant, but it was, oh, oh OHHH I see" Carlisle stood up also, backing over to were Quil stood, he stared at me in interest and slight shock, as if realising something that he had once thought impossible.

"See, I told you it has to be it" Quil glanced up at the front door, I followed his gaze and the boys met my sight, Paul, Sam, Embry and Jared were stood there, gaping at us.

"Let me look at these" Carlisle swooped down to the floor, picking up the scattered paper before walking to the kitchen table and reading through it, jotting down stuff with his own pen as he went.

Quil stayed still, just looking at me as I led in confusion on the sofa, no one said a word as Carlisle mumbled to himself, scribbling as he went. What was going on here? He tells me he's a wolf, then runs off and returns with some beautifully strange person, and causes even more confusion. I'm beginning to think my parents may have had a slight point with their accusations of these people being "off".

"Claire, if you don't mind me asking, here in your records, when you were 8 you were admitted to hospital, stayed for two weeks, but your records don't say why, can you remember?" Carlisle's soft voice broke the silence, I glanced across at him and frowned, why would that matter?

"Say's January 15th, you were admitted via ambulance, A&E, and then discharged two weeks later. Say's treatment was given but doesn't specify what" He was still looking at me, waiting for an answer as if it was real important. I looked across at the others; they were all mumbling to one another then looking back to me.

January 15th, when I was 8. What had happened? I thought back, trying to think about the times I had spent in hospital. When I was 8, I had been in that year for appendicitis, which wasn't actually appendicitis, and then there was the week I spent in there for lung failure, which wasn't lung failure. Then the crash. Oh the crash.

"My mom got in a car crash, I was in the car, a truck went into us, I cut my head open, broke my arm and had a bit of internal bleeding, then the pain hadn't stopped when it was supposed to so I was kept in until it did, in the end I faked it so I could go home. Why?" I looked around at everyone, Quil's face paled like he would throw up but instead he sunk into the armchair, resting his head on his hand.

"Just wondering, see if it could help, I just heard about your umm situation and thought I could help" Carlisle smiled, slipping back into professional mannerism's of a doctor, I hated the way doctors were. So formal and prissy.

"I highly doubt that" I flopped back, the burning in my heart finally aching as I propped myself up. relief from the burn washed through me as I let myself weaken against the soft sofa, curling up under the huge jacket that covered me, I looked down, Sam's.

I turned over, so I was facing Quil, he was watching me, looking a little conflicted, like he was trying to contain excitement of some sort. He smiled ever so slightly at me, causing the burning to be completely drowned out. His smile sparkled, washing away my grumpy mood; I could feel myself blushing under his stare, no matter how hard I tried to fight it back down.

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

I watched her as she drifted back into sleep, her skin had turned slightly pink as she stared at me, as if blushing. Her eyes were fighting to stay wide open, but they eventually gave up. Her soft breathing signalling she had fallen.

Carlisle sighed and stood up, the chair screeched across the wooden floor and he looked at me, nodding toward outside. My stomach flipped, he had been studying her notes and his memories of my condition over the years, for around an hour now. In that hour the others had gone, leaving just me to sit and stare at the beautiful girl that led so innocently in front of me. I felt bad, I was hiding this from her, the relief of her knowing about us was helping ease the guilt, but she should know if Carlisle agreed with me. But it wasn't time, she barely knew me. I couldn't waltz in and tell her she was my soul mate.

I followed Carlisle outside, fighting back my wolf's natural growl as his bleach like stench hit me in the breeze.

"So I've cross examined the notes her doctor sent over, plus everything I had ever treated you for, the timings fit, I have to say they are near enough exact. When she had chicken pox, you got worse, when she had that broken arm, you were in more pain than usual, in the same arm she broke you felt breaking pains if I remember correctly. It's like when something happened to one of you, it happened to the other. The time you fought the vampire and it slashed your stomach, she got sent to hospital with unexplained stomach pains. I don't know, Sam said he talked to the tribal elders, they know nothing, everyone assumed that her being away would weaken the bond, but to me it seems stronger. You were linked so closely, and today, the minute you left she screamed in agony, the minute you returned she stopped" He halted, turning to look fully at me, I knew I had been right I just knew it, the minute she mention the nightmares it clicked.

"Heart failure. Funny, to me it seems more like heart break. I don't know Quil, part of me agrees with you, part of me is looking at it medically, yeah she's a curious case, but I don't know. Rationally, it should be impossible, for her to be dying from being away from you. But I know better than to ignore the powers of imprinting. I don't want to give false hope and say she will be fine as long as your with one another, but I won't say part of me doesn't believe that" He stopped again, he seemed conflicted with himself, as to what to say next.

"So what do we do?" I felt desperate, torn, I didn't want her to die, or be in pain. But I didn't want to force myself on her just to keep the pain away. I didn't want us to be friends or more just because of desperation from the pain. I wanted it to be real, to be her chosen path.

"I would say keep going to Forks, her appointments with her doctor there and keep me updated on her test results. I can't stay around but you have my number, I want to know everything, every pain, ache, nightmare, every little thing"

His smile meant that this was all he could do at this stage, it felt like he had done nothing but agree with my suspicions, we still couldn't be sure I was right, we still didn't know what would happen to her. We just had more hunches.

"Thank you Carlisle" I smiled as he turned, Nessie walked out from the trees with Jacob, waiting to greet her grandpa. I waited until they left to go back inside.

The silence of the house was disturbed, soft mumbling was singing from the couch. I slipped forward, my eyes meeting a sleeping Claire, her body was stirring ever so slightly. Her lips frantically moving along with her grumbles.

She sounded frightened, like she was having a nightmare, or a start of one. I crept forward more, sitting myself on the floor in front of her, the time we had slept together outside she hadn't had a nightmare. If I stayed here she could sleep properly. I rolled my head back, so it rested on the side of the sofa, the room was darkening, evening was falling around us. Her mumbles quietened, her breathing became smoother, the beat of her heart was regular again, it was like a song to me, so rhythmic.

Most of the other guys would be radiantly happy at the breakthrough today had brought me, my imprint knew about the wolves, she hadn't freaked out, she had accepted us. And we had been making progress, talking, being around one another. The other guys had taken months to get as far as talking with their imprints, it had taken Brady a full year to tell his about the wolves. I so far had the easiest ride, no other imprint had taken the news so lightly, except Ness, but that was to be expected, no other imprint had fallen to the pull as easily as Claire was. But even when I should be feeling happy, I couldn't, I had her back, but at what price. Would she come to need me as a lover, as a soul mate. Or as a pain killer, a way to ease her from her misery. It was a question to which I dreaded the answer.

"Quil" Her soft breathy sigh let my name slip, I tensed, wondering if she had awoken, tilting my head to the side I saw her eyes, firmly shut. But her hand came crawling toward me, placing softly on my head, running carefully down my hair before resting at the bottom, her fingers playing with the small ringlets of my curly hair at the bottom of my neck.

It felt wrong, but so right. Like I shouldn't be encouraging myself to get this close to her, she would only come to need me to ease her pain, not be anything more to her. She would soon realise I was her pain killer. But her touch felt so alive, so warm and needy. The shivers the twirling of my hair sent were too calming to leave, my eyes were drooping, falling into the darkness I usually hated, the usual nightmare filled place I detested to visit. But with her touching me, I was suddenly longing to sleep, it was as if with her here she was protecting me from the screams and the pain, nothing could touch me in this moment.

* * *

**A/N = I am sorry for the wait for this, I usually try to update at least every day or every other but I had such bad writers block with this chapter, I wrote the chapter after this, but I just could not write this one, so weird. Now I am not happy with it, but it's taken me nearly four days to do this so if I tried making it perfect you would be waiting forever! **

**Due to my writers block, any ideas would be so appreciated right now, I am going insane! **

**I do not own Twilight. **


	17. Chapter 17

"_Qwilly Qwilly, you are a silly boy" The little girl screeched as she ran around on the beach, the older boy chasing her, his own face lit up in a smile. _

"_Claire bear come here you little monkey" He made a grab for her but she ran faster, straight into the arms of Sam who span her around and ran toward Emily who was laughing. _

"_Unca Sam WUN" She giggled louder as her family around her played with her, throwing her around in circles as she tried escaping Quil. _

* * *

"_I don't like this dwess Qwil, it's too fwilly" The tanned little girl pulled at the white bridesmaid dress, it was frilly and flowery and she had a disgusted face as she stared in the mirror. _

"_You look beautiful bear" Quil leant down, ruffling her hair as he crouched to her size. _

"_Why do I have to wear it?" The girl looked confused, she was still pouting and pulling at the dress. _

"_Because aunt Em is marrying Uncle Sam soon and you're her flower girl" _

"_Why do people get mawwied?" The girl smiled, poking her little finger to Quil's nose, he laughed and took her small hand in his. _

"_Because they love each other" He stood back up, still holding her little hand. _

"_So can I mawwy you one day?" She giggled as she pulled on Quil's hand more, he smiled and nodded. _

"_If that's what you want Claire bear" He walked her back out to the room full of giggling woman in dresses they all squealed as they saw her, clapping wildly. _

"_I think I want to, I'll let you know when I'm bigger" The little girl giggled before running off to Emily. _

_..._

* * *

"_And so the princess and the prince rode off on their big horse called wolfy into the La Push woods" Quil finished, poking the nose of the tiny girl who lay in her pink princess bed. _

"_I liked that story Qwil" She giggled and blew kisses at the young guy sat on her bed. _

"_Good, now go to sleep its late" He stood up from the bed, walking quickly to her open bedroom window. _

"_I love you Qwil" The girls yawning voice brought a smile to his face. He turned, looking down on her. _

"_I love you too Claire bear, I always will" And with that he leapt from the window._

* * *

I stirred, the fluttering feeling in my stomach gently pushing me to open my eyes. My hand was entwined in something soft, smooth and warm. I opened my eyes; I was on the sofa, in the living room. The on goings of yesterday flashed back to me, Carlisle Cullen, the doctor, and all the weirdness of my family.

The thing beneath my hand stirred causing me to jump slightly, looking down I saw the most confusing sight I had ever seen. My hand, wrapped carefully in Quil's curly hair. His body was twisted along the floor so that his head rested on the sofa where I lay, his own arm was under his head, offering a pillow of sorts, his hand reached up, close to my body but not touching me.

His head nudged itself up slightly, his tried eyes fluttering open to meet mine, a smile crept over his features as we locked each other and I couldn't help but smile back. This should be awkward, but I could only feel happy and rested as I kept my hand on his head. My fingers were stiff, like they had been in that position all night. I wondered if they had, it would be awkwardly embarrassing if they had been.

"Morning" He grumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Morning" I replied just as sleepily as he had.

We jerked upwards, my hand fell from his head and my body went a little colder. I hated that feeling, his warm wolf skin always offered warmth.

"Did you sleep ok?" He looked around to me, his voice finally free from the scratchiness it had had yesterday.

I smiled, I had slept perfectly.

"Yeah, you?"

He smiled back, like he was thinking the exact same thing.

"Yep"

I just nodded, it was strange, the two times I had slept near him now where the only two times I had actually slept. He was like my own comforter. Maybe it had something to do with those dreams I had, the ones of me when I was a kid, I sounded so close to him back then. I wanted to be close to him now, it was different though, I was a child then, a cute child who he obviously got dragged into babysitting. Now I was a plain girl who he had hated up until a day ago.

Standing up Quil looked around the house, I followed his eyes seeing that the house was empty. It seemed to be most days.

"Breakfast?" He turned looking down on me, his smile still dancing in his eyes. I just nodded as I stood up to follow him to the kitchen. He started looking around the cupboards as I leant against the counter.

"Emily's gone out" He slid a piece of paper to me. Careful feminine writing was neatly drawled across it.

_Gone to Billy's, be home soon. _

I nodded at the note, pushing it back along the counter. Who Billy was I had no idea but I didn't ask. Quil started pouring out cereal into bowls, one bowl remarkably bigger than the other. It was a mixing bowl, a big glass mixing bowl of cereal, practically the whole box. I narrowed my eyes, Quil never ate much, so either he had suddenly regained his wolfy appetite that the others had, or he was trying to fatten me up like Embry had taken to doing.

I scrambled to the small table, sitting down at it as I waited for the bowls Quil was carrying over, praying the big one wasn't mine. He smiled as he set them down, scooting the normal sized one to me while he huddled the mixing bowl to himself.

"Got your appetite back did you?" I smirked as I watched him pummel an overcrowded spoonful into his mouth.

He just mumbled a small yes as he continued to shovel the cereal into his mouth, not coming up for air as he made his way quickly through the bowl.

We ate mostly in silence, occasionally glancing at one another; I couldn't figure what it was but something just felt right. Like all the emptiness I had lived with for so many years was gone, I was supposed to be here. It was reiterating to me that my decision to leave my family to move here was the right one.

"I had a dream last night" After several minutes of internal confliction I decided to tell him, he had been so strange when I mentioned the nightmares that maybe telling him I had finally had a good dream would calm it down. The nervousness he seemed to have around me.

His head lifted up, looking at me with a curious glint in his eyes, he grunted in slight surprise, as if urging me to go on.

"I think it was more memories, but good ones. Me when I was a kid, and you. In some of them" I lied, he was in every single mini flashback that I had. And in everyone he had been so calm and patient with the little girl I would have lost it at.

"Oh, that's good" He had stiffened again, but he was smiling; only a slight smile but it was a smile none the less.

"Quil, we were close back then weren't we?" He fully dropped his spoon now, standing up to take his bowl to the sink, he stayed there leaning away from me so I was unable to read his face. I suddenly felt scared, I didn't want to push him away from me again, and he had only just started not hating me.

"Yeah" He finally breathed out, his tense body relaxing. He still stayed where he was, not facing me.

"So how come when I came back you were weird with me? Did I do something before I left?" It was a question that had bugged me, all the pictures of us and all my memories were of us being close, so why he had suddenly decided to hate me was beyond me.

"No, it wasn't you. It was... other people. I just didn't know how to be with you, I thought you wouldn't need me anymore, I thought that it was best for me not to get involved again. I don't know" He finished, sounding slightly confused and exasperated as he finally turned to look at me, his eyes were sad again, the broken look he had worn from the minute I met him was back, the glint from this morning completely gone.

I just nodded at him, he was basically saying he didn't want to overcrowd me, like the others had. Which I could respect, but I still couldn't understand the frightened dislike he had taken with me. There was something else there but I couldn't place a finger on it.

"Well, why don't we try being friends? Again. I mean, obviously I'm not three so I won't be as bossy, or annoying. Probably not as fun, but it would be nice to have a friend here" It would be nice to have a friend in general; I had never really had any, except the girls and occasional boys I had met at hospital or rehab. But they never lasted long; they ended by death, or recovery. The first one often being more common than the latter.

Quil's sparkle ignited, his eyes shining as his smile broke ever so slightly.

"Friends" He said it, as if confirming it to himself.

"So what do we do now?" I asked as he washed our bowls up, it was slightly awkward, friends, but we had nothing to be friends over. I knew nothing about him so we couldn't really bond.

"What do you mean? Like should we dance around in circles chanting a friendship promise?" He chuckled at himself, his chuckle stopped me for a second, I hadn't really heard him laugh. It was a deep rumble, to match his deep voice but it was just so endearing almost, like it instantly brought a smile to my face. I liked happier Quil.

"Make friends make friends never ever break friends?" I offered, hoping he would laugh again, he did, another short chuckle. He stopped, frowning to himself as if surprised by the sound leaving his lips.

"Something like that" He mumbled to himself, turning back to put the dishes away.

...

* * *

"Come in Claire, we don't bite" A gruff voice called out from the open door to the wooden garage.

The guys were sat out in Sam's garage to the side of the house, a few of them had been out there all evening, clinking around with stuff. I hadn't even showed myself so how they knew it was me was a little confusing. I had been hovering outside for around two minutes, too nervous to just walk in.

I popped myself around the door, Embry, Sam, Jared and Paul were all stood around a car, an old cherry red Volkswagen Beetle. The bonnet was open and Sam was leant into it while Embry held a flashlight over him. Paul looked up smirking at me.

"Well, Paul does, but only if he hasn't been fed" Jared added, his own smile lighting up his face. I hadn't been around them all since I found out about the wolf thing, so it was a little nerve wracking.

"Don't worry, Rachel fed me before I came over, your safe" Paul chuckled to himself, I fluttered in more, staying close to where Sam was bent over.

"Speak for yourself, I am starving" Embry piped up, adding a little growl for effect. Ok so they were taking the piss. I get it, big bad wolf and what not. I just rolled my eyes, my nerves of being around them faded, they were still the same people as before I found out.

"What's up?" Sam called out from his place inside the cars bonnet.

"I just umm, well, I had some dreams last night, about Quil" I squeaked out his name. I had become curious about the dreams, what they meant and I knew he would just dance around the subject like he did when I had brought up my childhood previously, so I figured the guys would help, well as much as males can help in a situation like this.

"Woah too much info little one" Paul sung in a teasing voice at me, winking when I glanced across at him. Jared added in a wolf whistle while Sam leapt up so quickly he smacked his head on the top of the car's bonnet.

"Shit" He yelled out, clutching at his skull as he danced around the room.

"Well that sure was fast, he only started talking yesterday, is he irresistibly sexy Claire Bear" Embry added in another growl, teasing me even more. It earned a smack from Sam as he danced past him. Yeah, you tell him Uncle Sam. Idiots, I wouldn't come to them if it was a dream like that. Jesus Christ.

"Oh I'll go to Emily" I groaned, turning around to walk out. I couldn't ask them if they were just going to mess around.

"We are joking, carry on little grasshopper" Paul chuckled, obviously proud of himself. I felt bad for his kids, especially daughters, they would have one hell of an annoying dad when they grew up.

"It was normal dreams, except they weren't really dreams, it was is if it had actually happened" I quickly added, ensuring no more teasing could ensue.

"Like flashbacks" Jared offered, I nodded and walked to a stool near where Paul was sat. Jumping on it as Sam calmed himself from his head bang.

"What were they?" Embry walked over, leaning against the counter that was behind me, I was careful not to look at his naked torso, I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest, but it was distracting having so many semi naked men around.

"Just like little things, him chasing me on the beach, reading me stories at bed time, stuff like that. But it just kind of"

"Confused you" Sam added before I could, an understanding played his eyes like he knew what I was getting at.

"Well yeah, I don't know, he would have been like 17 then right, so why would he be so bothered by me? I was three, and all my flashbacks revolve around him. As if something's trying to tell me something about him that I can't remember or don't want to remember I don't know. There's just something about him" I glanced around at the faces, guilty faces, each of them not reaching my look. Something was definitely going on here.

"You just really liked him when you were a kid" Jared spoke first, his voice a little too high, as if he was hiding something.

"Yeah, and you were pretty cute, we were all like it with you" Paul joined in, his voice lower than it usually was.

"And you had a crush on him so that might be why" Embry nudged me, trying to go back to the teasing.

"I was three, I couldn't have a crush at three" I nudged him back and scowled.

"Well you did" He poked his tongue out now, smirking. This was going nowhere.

"It's just memories Claire, you will probably get more of us as time goes on" Sam talked now, walking back to the car and leaning into it again.

"But, he just seems so much more involved than you guys. He went crazy about the name thing, then he got that weird doctor here and you're not going to tell me anything are you?" I groaned as I looked around at the amused expressions on their faces.

"NoPe" Embry popped the P and smirked at me. While Sam stood back up, looking at me a little exasperated.

"Claire it's not that we won't tell you anything, it's that there is nothing to tell. So you had dreams that happened to be about Quil, it's probably because you two were really close when you were younger. And the name thing annoyed us all, he just found out first. We spent years looking for Claire Taylor, not Bennett, it's just a little frustrating. And the doctor was me too, I thought it would be good for a second opinion" He shrugged it off as if it was a normal thing to do.

"And did he give you one?" The doctor hadn't done much but look over my notes and take my pulse, so I highly doubted he got very far.

Sam stayed silent, biting his lower lip as his eyes flashed with something I couldn't quite read. So obviously I was right, there was no difference in Carlisle's diagnosis to Shay's or the Fork's doctors.

"Fine, night then" I groaned, jumping from the stool before walking back into the dark night toward the house.

That had been pointless, I could have got more information from a tree. I would be sure never to ask them again, I should have gone to Emily but no, me being me thought Sam would be more able to help. I was stupidly wrong with that one.

As I rounded on the porch steps something caught my eye in the trees, I turned to look, expecting a cat or something. But a big chocolate brown wolf stood there, watching me, its eyes glowing against the night. Quil. He backed off slightly as I looked at him; as if he was scared for me to see him, I wasn't scared of his wolf form it was beautiful.

I found myself wanting to go to him, feel his fur beneath my skin, would it be soft like his hair was wrapped in my fingers this morning, or bristle like his rough skin on his hands. My stomach flipped, my fingertips tingled with the memory of the touch against his soft curls, how my hand had felt so right being placed against him like that. The chocolate colours of his fur danced around under the moonlight, making him look even silkier than I could have imagined. His eyes, although the same chocolate as his fur, stood out to me, as if they were torch lights shining down on me.

I wanted to stand there forever, to watch him in his wolf, but he turned, looking back into the dark pit of trees behind him before shooting me a sad look. He had to leave. The tingles in my hand stopped, I would be sleeping alone tonight. Although, I knew this was best, if I kept relying on him to be around I would become attached, and so would he.

"Goodnight Quil" I whispered into the wind, his ears perked up and he bowed his head, as if saying it back. I couldn't help but smile, his wolf was bigger than I remembered, I had seen him once before and thought him to be massive but he wasn't really, he seemed a lot bigger now, healthier. And he moved with such grace, his body seemed to leap so elegantly against the trees as he turned and faded into the night.

* * *

**Thank you for all the support, it means a lot! **

**And for the lovely PM which I had, and other reviews regarding the last chapter, the writer's block is still being a pain, normally it takes me not even a day to write and proof read my chapters but lately they have been killing me. For instance, proof reading this has taken me since 3pm, it is now 6.30pm. Just to READ the damned thing. I got distracted by facetime and siri, who I had a lovely conversation with about the weather and why it couldn't tell me what gender it was. I know, I have officially lost my mind. I feel like there is SO much talking in this since Quil finally started speaking again, not sure if I like speaking Quil. I think I preferred writing him when he was moody and silent. **

**But again, I hope you continue to read and enjoy my story and the next update will be soon, hopefully. **

**I do not own Twilight. **


	18. Chapter 18

"Claire" The little chirpy voice of Suzie came bellowing down the windy beach as I huddled on the picnic blanket with Bobby in my lap. It was my first trip to the beach since arriving in La Push, Emily had decided to make a day of it, to celebrate me coming home. And getting better, she had mumbled that bit when she thought I wasn't listening but I had heard it, and I had scorned myself when I felt the grin slipping onto my face. I wasn't getting better, I was just doing ok for now. And I refused to let myself get into this positive state of mind Emily had worked herself into.

It had been three days since the first day Quil and I spent together, the three days following had been the same. Quil would come for breakfast, eating more than he had done in 16 years according to Emily. Again, as she said this, her smile was so wide it looked like her face would break. We did nothing special in the days, just hung out, we didn't even really talk that much, just simple conversation. If I dare brought up my childhood I would lose him to his sadness again so I had fought the urge to ask questions. I didn't care about talking, I just liked him being around; everything seemed easier.

"Claire look what I have" Suzie called out again; I turned to see her beaming face galloping toward me, stumbling in the sand as she came. Kim was chasing after her, looking slightly exasperated. Jared did the typical dad thing of just laughing, offering no help to his wife as she screamed after his child.

"Hey Suzie" I smiled, I hadn't seen her in a few days, I missed her cuteness, she was the only kid around here that bothered with me.

"I have a new toy, daddy bought it for me, mommy went a little nuts but daddy said she was just PMS'ing whatever that means" Her chirpy voice was loudly excited and everyone sniggered at the comment about PMS'ing, Kim turned to give Jared an almighty glare which he met with yet another roar of laughter.

"Oh well what is it?" I looked around her, trying to see it but I couldn't, she seemed to not be carrying it.

"It's a PUPPY!" She squealed, clapping her hands as she jumped around in circles.

"That's technically not a toy Suzie" I mumbled, worrying for the dog's safety as she referred to it as a toy. I had seen what this girl did to her toys, and it wasn't pretty.

Her little face beaconed with excitement as she continued to dance around on the spot. I glanced around at everyone, their faces were creased in confusion as no puppy was present.

"Where is it?" Jake was the one to point out the missing dog and Suzie stopped clapping and turned to her dad, his face dropped slightly as she glared at him.

"Where did it go?" Her innocent voice sounded so mad as she addressed him, again, he paled slightly.

"I left it in the car" His hand flew to his mouth as he turned and ran back up the beach, Suzie took after him screaming that he was a puppy murderer.

"And that is why I said NO pets, because he kills them. We had two fish before we had children, to make sure we could handle it, and after two days he had managed to kill them. He took them out of the water so they could have a "rest" from swimming. Idiot" Kim stormed past us all, carrying bags of food and beach essentials she marched straight to Emily who offered her the husband bashing she was looking for.

"MMMhmm, good thing she doesn't know what he did to Suzie the first time she left him home alone with her" Paul who was sat opposite me nudged Collin and they fell into laughter, Embry shot Paul a strange glare, like he was pissed at him for bringing it up. I frowned, they were all so weird.

"Kim left Jared with Suzie for an hour when she was like a month old. She had fallen asleep on his lap right, and he was watching a football game. And well, long story short, his team scored, he forgot she was in his lap, went flying up and dropped Suzie to the floor. She was fine, obviously. But Kim would go ape if she found out" Jacob whispered to me, he was sat on the other side of Quil who was sat directly next to me. I laughed before I could stop myself, the image of it being too funny, then I felt bad, so I tried stopping, but Quil had started chuckling too so all I could do was carry on laughing.

"Remember the time Paul dropped Claire" Brady spoke up this time, baby George cuddled up in his arms, Kacey sat next to him, smiling at Quil and I, she had a weird look in her eye but I ignored it. She seemed smug about something, not in a bitchy way, but in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. Then I realised what Brady said and snapped my head to Paul who had turned silent.

"You dropped me?" He nodded as I glanced around at the smirks on the guys faces, even Quil was wearing one.

"How?" If it was on purpose I would kill him.

"You were two; it was right before your third birthday. Quil had to go on patrol, and you were asleep so he handed you to Paul. Then Emily called out that the food was ready and Paul just kind of dropped you, and ran off to get food" Embry was laughing as he said it, I stared at Paul, raising one eyebrow in annoyance. Who drops a sleeping child just for food?

"It was damned good food, and technically, Quil shouldn't have chucked you at me, I didn't want no sleeping kid on me" Paul shrugged it off like it was nothing so I poked my tongue out.

"EEEEKKKK PUPPY IS ALIVE!" Suzie was shouting behind me, followed by yapping of a dog.

"Oh great" Kim groaned loudly from her place with Emily and Rachel, the yapping got louder and I turned to look, a little black Labrador came bounding down the beach toward us, unable to stop itself it ran straight into Quil's back and yelped as it fell to its side.

"QWIL YOU KILLED IT!" Suzie screeched as she sprinted toward us, she over pronounced the W sound in his name like I had in my dreams. It was annoying, having someone else say his name like I had, I felt sort of, protective over it, which was crazy, it was just a name. But either way, I wanted to tell her to stop it but I refrained myself, I would look insane telling her off for mispronouncing a name.

He ignored her screams, picking up the little dog that quickly started yapping and nipping at his hands. He smiled as it jumped around in his lap, licking at him.

"I didn't kill it, its fine Suzie" His soft voice was playful and happy as he scratched the dogs stomach. Suzie had stopped suddenly, staring in shock at Quil.

"Oh. My. Lord. He spoke to me." There was so much confusion and shock in her voice I thought she was going to faint, everyone laughed at her as Quil petted the dog more ignoring her comment about him. Even I smiled, I liked Quil now he talked more, but her reaction had been the best one yet. I had gone into shock sure, and so had most of the guys but hers was just too cute.

"Suzie take the dog over to the kids" Kim yelled out at her, clearly annoyed at the cute little thing bouncing around in front of me.

"Come on Claire" Suzie ordered from next to me, I looked up; I wasn't going to play with the kids.

"I think I'll stay here"

"Not you, Claire" She pointed at the dog, she called the dog Claire. Right, so was that a compliment, or was she referring to me as a dog?

"Oh god I am so sorry I told her not to call it that" Kim came over, nudging Suzie away from us as she picked the dog up.

"It's because I love Claire and I love the dog, so I figured I should just call it Claire" Suzie yelled as Jared started pulling her away, he was laughing but he tried looking angry at her as Kim shot him a glare.

...

* * *

I sat on my blanket, another blanket wrapped tightly around me because for the first time in years, the sea front wind was actually whipping at me. Hitting my skin with sheer force that I had never experienced, although I was kind of glad I hadn't, it wasn't the best feeling. My body had been calm all day, no pain engulfed me, it hadn't for three days now. But I still tried to make sure I remembered that I was still sick. A few days being pain free meant nothing when I knew how quickly it could leap at me.

I watched as the dad's of the group loaded the kids into prams and makeshift beds around the small fire they had made. The woman were in a huddled group gossiping but I had excused myself, wanting a bit more peace than they offered. Quil seemed more alive tonight, he had joined in the guys football game, joked around with his friends, it was nice seeing him this way. Kacey and the other girls had all stopped now and then, giving me the same look Kacey had given me earlier, like they were thinking something, but also as if they were grateful of me. Which was ridiculous, I had done nothing for them to be grateful for.

"Hey" The low voice brought me from my thoughts, I glanced up, meeting my new friends kind stare.

"Quil" My body instantly perked up, his presence brightening my mood in less than a second as he sat down beside me.

"Your cold?" He was looking at me, his eyes were worried as he took in my shivering body.

"Mmm" My teeth chattered, I hadn't realised how cold, maybe a little too cold.

"You want to go home?" He asked again, this time a little more worry creeping into his husky voice. I shut my eyes, the worry was nice, not forced or over done, just enough make me feel cared for. I liked that, feeling cared for.

"If you don't mind" I was shattered, and freezing. He nodded, standing up and holding his hands out for me to take, which I did. Almost instantly the chattering and knocking of my teeth and knees stopped, his warm skin sending a flurry of warmth over me.

"Not at all" His voice was soft, with a slight edge of awkwardness about it. Nobody said a word to us as we left, just smiled or nodded, Sam threw the house keys at us, and in the glint of the fire light I could make out a small smirk playing his lips as he held Emily tight to his chest.

The walk home was surprisingly short, Quil took me through the trees rather than the road, he stayed silent mostly, but now and then he would throw in a comment about his patrols, he had only just restarted them or something, but he had said nothing more than that. And I knew not to ask why he had only just restarted them, it was as if something in my clicked, telling me what to say and what not to, I was too afraid to push him in case I lost him to the old Quil.

I shook off the cold child that lay on my skin as I entered the house, Quil ran into the kitchen while I locked the door up again, although I was here with a wolf, I technically still felt unsure about living so far out in the woods. Especially when I had been forced to watch so many scary films growing up, Max had a thing about scaring me.

"You want some hot chocolate?" Quil's low voice broke through the dimly lit house, only one lamp offered any light. He was standing by the stove, lighting it with a match before placing Emily's old kettle on top.

"Yes please" I chattered through my teeth, the cold chill still biting at me.

I walked to the living room, wrapping myself up on the sofa as Quil pottered around the kitchen. The tinkering sounds of metal spoons on china cups filling the dark silence.

"Choose a film if you like" Quil was suddenly next to me, handing me a big mug that was overflowing with whipped cream and marshmallows. The chocolate smell that came from the mug was like heaven, it smelt as if he had literally melted chocolate down and filled the mug.

"Sure" I placed the mug on the side table, getting up as Quil sat down in the place next to where I was, he was getting more comfortable being near me, he would slowly edge closer as we ate lunch most days, or if we were helping Emily do something he would stand next to me rather than furthest away like he had done not long ago.

I walked to the DVD rack, scanning the names of the films as I knelt down in front of it, my knees blissfully pain free as I knelt there.

"Hmm lets see, we have Lord of the Rings, all three"

"Too long" Quil answered before I could move on to the next one.

"Dirty Dancing"

"Just no" He stated simply, I smirked at his bluntness, typical man.

"Magic Mike, mmm Channing Tatum" I played, smiling as I turned to look at him, he was smirking, but trying to fight it. I took that as a no and turned back to the rack.

"Pretty Woman, oo yeah please its my favourite?" I grabbed it, turning to look and smiling as innocently as possible, he seemed to struggle with himself for a minute before shaking his head at me. I pouted and he seemed to falter again before defiantly shaking his head.

"Fine. Umm Harry Potter?" Everyone likes Harry Potter right?

"Too magical"

"Says the man who turns into a wolf to fight vampires" I snorted, that was rather hypocritical.

"Not the same thing, they have wands and flying cars, it's too magical"

"So you don't like magic?" His face fell slightly, like he was seriously thinking over my question.

"Some magic I like, some I don't, and some, I'm not sure of yet" He trailed off, as if talking to himself rather than me. I took it to be the magic he liked as his wolf stuff, the magic he didn't as Harry potter, but the last one I had no idea what he could have meant. So I just turned to the rack and picked up Pretty Woman again, holding it up and smiling my cutest smile and fluttering my eyelids.

"Eurgh fine" He was smiling but he threw his head back in fake disgust as I turned it on and leapt back to the sofa, again, a movement that used to make my body wince in pain, but tonight was completely normal. I think I would ask Em to make me an appointment, something was going on here.

Quil had already gotten half way through his drink, not even blowing on it as he gulped the steaming liquid as the film started playing. I on the other hand, was still picking at the creamy topping; I hadn't reached the chocolate yet.

"Is this movie not about a prostitute?" Quil finally asked as the credits slowed down into the actual movie.

"I suppose, but it's such a beautiful love story" I smiled, I really loved this movie.

"Sure" He stated simply, sipping more of his drink down as he focused on the screen. A thought hit me, I could ask him questions, maybe not about when I left but general questions. That's what friends did right?

"What's your favourite film?" I took a gulp of the drink I had finally reached, the chocolate taste was just right, just enough sweetness and enough milkiness. I had never tasted anything like it. It was thicker than usual chocolate, but not just melted like I had originally thought.

"Umm, I don't know" He sounded a little off guard.

"What do you mean you don't know?" I raised an eyebrow at him, he must have watched films.

"Haven't really watched any for a while, I guess when I was younger I watched action films, usual boy stuff" He was unfocused, his eyes danced around the room as he nervously fluttered over his words.

I fell back to silence, focusing on the film I had forgotten in my urge to learn more about the boy who intrigued me so much. But even as I stared at the film I couldn't bring myself to concentrate, I needed to know more.

"So if you don't watch films what do you do?" I turned in my seat, focusing fully on Quil's face as the TV flashed across it, lighting it up as he looked right back at me.

"I guess I don't do much" The edge in his voice confused me, it was as if he was just realising this for the first time, almost surprised at himself as he said it.

I didn't reply, frightened I was lingering too close to things he might not want to linger on. so instead I grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa, wrapping it around myself as we fell into a strained silence, both of us on the tip of saying something but neither did.

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

Even as the hot drink burned my throat as I gulped it down I couldn't stop, the burning sensation actually a relief from the scratching that engulfed me normally. It was better to feel the burn of the drink than to feel the burn of the truth as I sat there unable to answer her questions about myself, I had no favourite movie like she had, I hadn't watched any in 16 years, not really anyway. I would put them on, and stare at the screen as I was now with this film, but I never really watched it.

"This chocolate is good" Her sudden eruption from the uncomfortable silence made my body spring, turning to look at her as she placed the mug on the table and turned back to me. She had a blob of whipped cream on her nose, but she hadn't noticed. Amusement ran through me as I felt the lightness of a smirk drifting onto my face despite myself.

"What? What did I say?" Her face dropped in a horror of sorts, as if she had offended me, but I just smiled more, a chuckle escaping my lips, it felt foreign still, I had been happy today. Joining in the playfulness between my pack brothers but it still felt strange. Her own face however, stayed dropped, worried almost.

I reached out, the tip of my index finger brushing against the tip of her nose, scooping the little bob off. My body froze as I pulled back, the spark that ignited in my finger tip sending a shiver through my entire body as if reconnecting something within me. She too double took me, her head shuddering to one side before her eyes sparkled with a smile that appeared as she looked down at my finger that was now dripping from the melted cream.

"Oh how embarrassing" She groaned, lifting her small hand to cover her eyes dramatically. I felt the strangest feeling building up in my stomach as she groaned still her face turning pink with an embarrassed blush, it was a rumbling feeling, moving its way to my mouth it began aching in my stomach. Claire stopped, peeking through her eyes as a sound left my mouth, not the chuckle I had been doing recently, but a real laugh. A laugh that I couldn't stop as she peeked out at me, her own lips turning into a curved grin that let out breathy giggles. I felt hysterical, like I couldn't stop the sound coming from my mouth, my insides were aching, ripping as I erupted in the fit of sound and shakes from the pure amusement this girl offered. She was just funny, her mannerisms hadn't changed since she was a kid, she was the same girl yet older, more mature, way more mature. But she had the same charisma, a happy aura that rubbed off on whoever she was around, even when she had been so ill and small when she first arrived she was infectious with her glow.

"My favourite movie was Mission Impossible, the first one" It slipped out without registering with my brain, as if it were pure fact and I had known it all along, my laughing died down as did Claires, her face falling into a soft smile as she absorbed the information.

"Tom Cruise?" She asked, her eyebrows rose in disapproval.

"Of course, he's like the greatest actor of all time" I was smiling again, I could feel it on my face as I answered her back, she shook her head as she let out a giggle.

"He's an asshole is what he is" She smirked as she said it, cuddling into her blanket more as she shivered.

"Sure sure"

"Favourite TV show?" Looking back up at me as she seemed to fall back into the sofa, she seemed alight with interest, like she really cared.

"Now that really is pushing it, umm, I used to love those wrestling shows. The ones that were way to fake and trashy but yet so good you know" The information was seeping from me, the old Quil creeping back up as she relaxed my constantly tense persona.

"Gotta be the Big Bang Theory, we can watch it sometime, it's so funny, it kept me going through rehab" Her hands flew to one another, cupping her wrists as she said it, her fingers trailing the tattoos that spread across her skin.

"I got them to cover my scars; I didn't want to be reminded everyday of what an idiot I was. Strength and hope" She smiled, but it seemed forced.

"They look good, I like the bird" I offered, trying desperately to bring her down from the slightly awkward stance she had gone into.

"Ok so favourite animal" It worked, her smile was back, fully back, she dropped her hands from one another and cocked her head to the side waiting for my answer.

"Oh come on, so easy, a wolf" I had to laugh as she let off a tutting sound, her disapproval from earlier back.

"Be more creative, you are a wolf" I shut my eyes, thinking about it more, if I could be anything else what would I be.

"A bird" The little image of the bird on her wrist flipped in my mind as I said it. Her smile grew, her eyes sparkling against the flash of the TV.

"Mine too, I always think it's nice, they can fly wherever they want, be wherever they want"

"Be free from all the crap down here" I finished for her, she nodded, her smile never faltering.

She seemed so mature; I could feel it, the bond pulling on me as I looked down into her warm eyes. Focusing her in my mind and heart, she was so different now, yet still the same. The screaming hadn't bothered me all day, my hearing was clear for the first time in so long that her voice was loud to me, loud but not too loud. Just right for me to be able to hear each word that left her mouth. She wasn't the kid in my nightmares anymore, she wasn't the little girl I had grown so scared of from the absence, she was this whole new Claire, this beautifully mature girl. It was different to how I felt when she was a child, when she was a child I felt too protective, too motherly almost over her, but now it was so different, a completely different feeling all together. But part of me felt wrong for letting this happen, it couldn't ever be real, because to her I would be something to fix the pain. When she found out about the imprint she would want me from pure desperation to live, rather than the love that was supposed to linger here, but I would let her if it meant she did live. I wouldn't let her die, or hurt ever again for that matter.

Her yawn broke my thoughts, rendering me back to present time. Her body was slouching, her eyes drifting shut as she bent over in what looked to me the most uncomfortable position I had ever seen. Looping downwards more she finally shut her eyes, her soft breath breaking through in a small snore, she just kept falling, as if toward me. I looked up at the door, if I left she would get the pain again. So I stayed, cupping her head in my hands as I lay her across my lap, the touch of her body on mine sending a blanket of warmth over me, but also a sheet of tiredness. Shutting my eyes there was no screams, confirming to me that the sickness she had gone through for so long was my fault. I felt nothing when she was around, no pain, no nightmares. And as far as I could tell she was the same. She would live as long as I stayed near, and so I would. I would stay near her always, but I would never do more than that, she had already lost so many years because of the imprint, she had missed her childhood and her teens. I wouldn't take away her life too, through death nor her right to have choices over what she wanted. Reiterating it to myself over and over I slowly began slipping, the lightness of new dreams taking me rather than the darkness of old. Her soft childish giggles echoed around my ears, but they slowly began morphing into her adult giggles, still so soft and enticing, but even more so. Guiding me to the sleep I craved.

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**Thank you for your reviews people, keep them coming :D I think this is the longest chapter I have wrote for this story, shocking. Anyway.**

**And all the advice is amazing too :D **

**Not sure if it came across here very well, but when Quil is talking about his feelings I am trying to show that he see's her for the adult she is now, not the little girl he lost. Anyhoo, I shall update soon! :D xxx**


	19. Chapter 19

Quil had been gone when I woke up, I was still on the sofa, the two empty mugs still sat on the coffee table, offering the only comfort that I hadn't been dreaming, and he actually had stayed with me. And we actually did have a conversation that didn't end in him running off. I had slept right through, no nightmares, no screaming, just peaceful sleep. And I had woken up warm and pain free, but as the day crept on the aches came back, screaming at my joints as I helped Emily clean the house up and care for Bobby. I had been refusing to cry out for an hour now, the house had become dark along with my mood but I refused to give in as my legs got weaker, I pushed through it, I wouldn't let it win, not when I had spent so many days being free and happy.

Emily walked downstairs, the kids were finally asleep and she had that relief on her face that only mothers to small children could pull off, her hair was all over the place and her clothes still damp from bath time but she smiled at me as she took her glass of wine from the kitchen counter and collapsed on the sofa next to me.

"Finally" She chuckled as she sipped her drink, her eyes scanned over me and narrowed, as if suspicious.

"You ok, you look pale?"

"No, the pain's back, I feel worse than I have in days" I groaned, curling up in a ball to try stop the burst of pain in my stomach and chest.

"You want me to get you anything honey?" I shook my head at her, nothing worked anyway so why bother.

"Just talk to me, take my mind off it" I threw my head back across the back of the sofa, Sam was still out in the garage, working on that car.

"Hmm, umm, now I feel put on the spot" She smiled, but it seemed a little false, like she was still worrying about me.

"Fine I'll talk first. Why won't Quil talk about when I was a kid? Or anything to do with his life before I came back?" I narrowed my eyes at my aunt as she choked on her sip of wine, I had no idea why I asked but I had, so I couldn't take it back now. She looked at me, a little nervous as she searched for an answer.

"I umm, I suppose he can't remember, it was a long time ago Claire. And as for the second question, Quil was in a very dark place; he never did much, so he hasn't much to tell you. You shouldn't dwell on his past unhappiness, focus on the fact you were able to bring him back from it. He needs a friend for now; he doesn't need to relive those memories Claire, and neither do you" She smiled again, this time it was genuine, but her tone of voice was sympathetic. I knew which memories she meant, the dark ones that filled me with such negativity, I didn't need those, but I wanted the good ones. Even though I was three and technically most people don't remember that age, I still wanted to know more, be closer to the happy Quil from the pictures.

"The happy guy you see in those pictures is still here Claire, he just needs someone to remind him of himself. Give him a reason to be that guy again" I frowned, how had she known I was thinking about the pictures?

"I see you looking at them all the time Claire, it's ok for you to feel umm, drawn to him. You were really close at one point" She smiled again, as if really proud of something. I had no idea how to reply to that. How had she known I felt drawn to him?

"Thanks? I think" I grumbled, still confused.

"You look tired Claire, get some sleep?" She stood up, holding her hand out for me but I couldn't move, I was too tired.

"SAM" Emily let out a frantic scream as if she were hurt and before I could register what was happening Sam had barged through the door, covered in oil and his hair stuck up in all positions, he rushed to Emily and started looking over her as if looking for some sort of issue that shouldn't be there.

"Not me, her, take her up to bed she's in pain" Emily slapped his hand away but smiled, I had never seen her properly angry at Sam, she would fake it, but it was always playful. I liked it, seeing them in such a happy family, I never really had that. My parents would fight; scream at each other, I once walked in on my mom throwing a mug at my dad's head telling him it was his entire fault I was like this. Of course, I had never blamed them. I still didn't, I was angry that they changed my name but I never once thought they had ever caused my illnesses. My mom would throw this in every time we had a family fight, turning on me when I stuck up for my dad. It was weird, it was like she really blamed him for it, but there was no way he could have caused it.

"Up you get Bear" They had all started calling me Bear, it was nice, familiar as everything else about this place was. I liked it, it was childish but I didn't care. I winced as Sam pulled me up, his warmth scorned me, not like Quils did, but it singed against my freezing skin. It wasn't nice.

Sam smiled down at me sympathetically as he lay me on the bed, the look in his eyes was almost guilty as he backed away. Like he had done something to hurt me more. I rolled over, covering myself with the blanket trying to fight off the cold that was creeping back over my skin. I hated this, the feeling of being so ill. I wanted the relief I had found over the past few days, whatever it was, I wanted it back.

...

* * *

"So where are mom and dad now?" I bit my lip as I paced around the kitchen counter that sat as an island between the kitchen and dining area. Emily was sat at the table with Sam, both looking at me with slight concern as I talked to my brother. He had rang fifteen times before I finally plucked up the courage to ring him back.

"I think they are in New York, talking to that friend you had from when you went there for that Cancer treatment few years back. I put a fake note in your desk drawer with her details on it, to look like you had maybe contacted her. But I'm not sure how long it will hold up before they realise I'm in on it" He stopped, his young voice a little panicked as she listened to him stomp around there house.

"Max who is home with you?" It suddenly dawned on me; my parents were away, which meant Max was alone.

"No one, why?"

"What? They left you alone?" I fell back into the counter, shaking my head, my parents were idiots. Always putting me before him, it wasn't fair. Emily made a shocked face, like she was disgusted at my parents.

"Yeah and with no money, I had to use the rest of my savings for food. I been living off pizza for two weeks" I felt sick, they were idiots, world class idiots. He maybe old enough to be home alone, but Max was a sloppy teenage boy, they had to know he wouldn't cook, and as for the money thing, well that was just stupid.

"I'm coming home" I sighed, they couldn't keep doing this to him because of me.

"No you are not, your there because you want to be, for once stop worrying about me and them. Jesus, I am use to being the forgotten child you know" He chuckled as if it didn't bother him but I knew it did, he was counting down the days until he moved away to college, I was too.

"Just because you are used to it doesn't mean I have to like it, if you won't let me come home then at least bring yourself here?"

"Nope" He said defiantly, he could be so stubborn.

"Fine then I am coming home" I snapped, kicking my foot against the floor. There was no reply, just a long beeping tone that signalled he had hung up on me. Such a kid. I couldn't just leave him there with no food, and no supervision. He could be having skanky girls over every night and no one would know. He could be someone's baby daddy right now and again, no one would know because our parents didn't do there freaking job right.

"Claire I am sure he's ok" Sam started but I held my hand up to stop him.

"Sorry but the last time you saw him was when he was a baby, he is a teenage boy now, he cannot look after himself" I rubbed my forehead as I banged my body against the counter, how could I have left, I knew they would go looking for me. I had been such an idiot.

"Claire, you can't just leave, Quil needs" Emily stopped, Sam shot her a shut up now look and she received it loud and clear, her head bowed she refused anymore eye contact. I frowned, what did Quil need from me?

"Sorry, but I am sure Quil can survive me leaving for a while. I need to get to my brother" I walked past them, running up the stairs. Surprised that my body was actually letting me run, it had been aching all day, and night, I had barely slept a wink, just tossed and turned as the lighter than usual but still annoying pain kept me up. I shouldn't be complaining, it was better than it had been in my whole life, but I yearned for the complete freedom of pain I had for the last few days.

I grabbed my suitcase from under my bed, throwing my clothes back in it as I frantically ran around my room. They had just left him, unprotected, unwatched, and in a big ass city. All alone. I could kill them sometimes. Why were they so intent on babying me, who would die no matter where I was, than looking after and loving the kid they would have forever? I had seriously begun panicking about what would happen to him when I did die. He would forever be in my shadow to them.

"You're leaving?" The door creaked to a stop as it hit its stopper; a shirtless Quil was stood in my doorway, his skin drenched with the rain that hammered outside the warm house. His eyes were set on the suitcase in front of me, the rain drops that dripped from his curls fell down his cheeks like tears. I had never heard just short words sounding so painful. I just looked at him, unable to build up an answer.

"You can't leave, you were getting better here" His masculine voice broke with such emotion that my heart exploded in a single shot of pain. I was better here, I had felt so alive here, but I couldn't leave Max.

"My brother needs me" My voice rolled out in a whisper, unable to make myself really believe in the words I was speak. Did he need me? Or was I trying to run from the situation here. I had started feeling things for Quil, things that felt so foreign to my empty heart, things that scared me. Every inch of my body had been looking for a way out of the feelings that would one day be torn apart by death.

"What about us, your family here, we need you too. I need you; you're the only friend I have had in so long, if you go again I'll be alone" The vulnerability that seeped from his wet body was agonising. I couldn't handle it as it continued shooting pains to my chest.

"You have Embry and the others, you're better now too Quil, you'll be fine, Max has no one" I said it more for myself, trying to reason that I was making the right decision.

"Claire, please don't go, not yet" He was desperate, his body jerked forwards as he tried stopping me from throwing my clothes into the case.

"Quil" I tried protesting but I knew I couldn't go, I could, but I couldn't at the same time. I felt like I should, but everything in me gave up and told me to stay. Something was keeping me here and I wasn't sure what it was.

I reached out to him, taking his hand away from my suitcase that he had banged shut in an attempt to stop me putting more in. The touch of his hand on mine was a new feeling, I fit perfectly in his huge one, his warm skin sending a fresh wave of warmth through me like his touch normally did but this time it was more than that, it was joint with a butterfly feeling, my whole body swooping from his touch. He snapped up, looking me straight in the eye. I couldn't look away no matter how awkward it was getting. He was a friend to me recently, but I felt drawn to him in ways friends shouldn't be, like I needed him around me all the time. His stare was deep, like it had a different meaning behind it than a simple stare but again, I couldn't pin point what.

"Claire I need to tell you something" His face paled as soon as he said it, my skin sparked and fizzled out as he dropped my small hand from his. Backing away as if he had said something wrong, but I had no idea what.

"Dinners ready" He turned and left, his footsteps heavily echoing down the stairs. He had to tell me dinner was ready? He really was something else sometimes, he freaked out over nothing.

The coldness was back, tearing over my skin as I made my way down to the kitchen, the twins were running around squealing but there was no Quil in sight. The front door was open and I could hear the sound of a car pulling away. Emily and Sam's sad looks from the table told me he had left, again.

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**I keep writing fairly short chapters, well I feel like they are short. **

**Now the last chapter only got 5 reviews, and this one only got 6, I know you guys can do better than that, come on, just a little incy baby one I liked hearing from you guys?! :D **

**Anyway, as usual, I still do not own Twilight. **


	20. Chapter 20

**I do not own Twilight**

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**Quil point of view**

She couldn't leave, if she left she would die. I would die. But I had no way to stop her, she could leave if she really wanted.

Eurgh I was so stupid, I should have said something. Dinners ready? Why the hell would I say that when I'm trying to keep the girl I am falling in lo...No I am not falling in love with her, I barely know her and she barely knows me. Oh god what am I doing here. Her skin, her hand in mine had felt so good, I was used to being near her, little touches here and there, me holding her while she slept but the simple act of holding her hand had been different. More intense, more sweeping. My whole body had melted away in hers, I had nearly slipped up, told her everything but I freaked. And now I was confused, I didn't think her ready to know the truth yet, but then again, she had the right to know what had been killing her for all these years. It still was killing her, and it wouldn't stop unless I kept her here. I could feel the panic rising, desperate to hold on to her but I could feel her slipping away each step I took, she wanted her brother.

"Quil calm down" Embry, I could see his thoughts as he bounded after me as I pelted through the trees toward the cliffs. I couldn't stop running, trying to escape the feeling I had in me even after years of longing for it to be there. Now that I finally had her, I was so scared to lose her I was running from her. It made so sense but I couldn't stop.

"Quil stop please let me just talk to you?" Embry tried again, he was nearby but staying well enough away to keep me calm.

No, no, no.

"Quil enough of this bullshit your driving me crazy" Embry's angry tone halted me, I leant into a tree, panting from my harsh running. He stayed where he was too, not wanting to annoy me too much. What bullshit?

"With Claire, all of this, the running away and the confusion you're causing her. Dude I know it feels shit, I know that ok, but she at least deserves for you to not run away every time you get too close to her. You're not going to lose her. You have waited years for this and you're treating it like you don't want it? What was the point in any of it if you're just going to run when it really matters? All the nightmares, the pain, the years of searching for her? You have her back dude, so just take it, she's yours" His mind flashed with the images of those long 16 years, the times I searched for months on end with no answer or even a clue to where she was. It hurt, I couldn't watch.

"She's leaving Embry, she wants to go home" Even in my mind my voice sounded weak and I shook myself, trying to stir some strength.

"No she doesn't want to, she feels like she has to. But she wouldn't feel that way if she knew she had a reason to stay, a real reason, other than her family here. All I'm saying as your best friend is that I think you need to man up. You won't lose her if you don't let yourself lose her" She wouldn't have a reason; she would see me as her pain killer I know it, even Embry's words didn't help that feeling. I could feel his anger at me but he said nothing, the vibrating shakes that rolled over him rolled through me too.

I felt so confused, torn, I had no idea what I should do.

* * *

...

**Claire's point of view**

Emily had been nervously fluttering around the house all evening, she had barely eaten her dinner, but then again, neither had I. Even Sam wasn't eating much, he just kept watching me as if I were about to collapse or something, like he was on edge ready to jump and catch me. But even though the pain clawed at every inch of my small body I stayed firm, I couldn't keep letting it take over.

I had gotten worse since Quil left, my thoughts of him sparked even more pain. I couldn't understand why, he was just my friend, but he was different to other friends I had ever had. I was so comfortable with him, so soothed by his presence that I felt alive around him. I had never felt that. I felt like there was something about him, something I was missing but I needed to know.

"Are you going to go home Claire?" Sam finally spoke, bringing me from my thoughts of Quil, he was sat on the sofa with his head in his hands but as he looked up I saw the frown that was set on his face, like he was struggling with something.

Was I? I felt like I needed to, I had been so reckless by leaving like that and now my little brother was paying the price. I couldn't let that carry on. But then everytime I thought of leaving Quil's smiling face brought me back down with a painful crash, I had helped him, he had helped me, if I left, would it just hurt us both more? "I'm not sure yet, probably". Sam nodded and buried his head again as I said it.

"You know, your brother really is welcome to come here, I could bring him if you like?" Emily walked over to me now, sitting down on the chair opposite me she smiled, but she too seemed a little on edge.

"He won't come, he has football training. He's hoping to get a scholarship for college so there's no way he would miss it" My stomach dropped again, he had no one there watching him at his big game next week. Eurgh, this was horrible. I felt like crap. Torn between the people I loved. "I have to go home" I finally sighed out, Emily's false smile dropped and she looked to Sam desperately, her eyes pleading with him.

"Claire we need to talk to you, you can't go" Sam finally stood up and walked toward the dining table, sitting next to Emily his serious face looked at me, he seemed a little pale, scared maybe. Maybe they had gotten news from my doctor, maybe something was wrong. Oh god.

"Claire, it's about why you left, we weren't truthful with you. There is another reason your parents took you. And it's important you listen to this fully before reacting or saying anything ok, just stay calm" Sam looked really sick now, his eyes kept glancing between Emily and I like he was trying to find a way out of what he was about to say. I myself felt sick, I didn't like the tone in his voice.

"You understand the wolf stuff, but there is something else that goes with it. We never really knew much about it but now we do, we think anyway, you and.." He stopped as the door flew open, my eyes snapped toward it and the dark evening sky shone the silhouette of the person I had come to crave. Quil. He had come back.

* * *

...

**Quil point of view**

"Claire, it's about why you left, we weren't truthful with you. There is another reason your parents took you. And it's important you listen to this fully before reacting or saying anything ok, just stay calm" Sam's voice hit my ears as I rounded on the house, I felt physically sick, no he couldn't tell her that was my job.

I flew out toward the trees, phasing back to human as I went. There was some shorts next to a tree, Emily left them out for us as a backup if we didn't have any. But as I pulled them on I focused on the house, I could feel Claire, she felt nervous. He couldn't tell her, it had to be me. Sprinting toward the house I heard his voice again, making me panic even more.

"You understand the wolf stuff, but there is something else that goes with it. We never really knew much about it but now we do, we think anyway, you and.." I kicked the door open, making my presence known and Sam stopped, turning to look at me his whole body relaxed as if I had just saved him from something he hadn't wanted to do.

But almost instantly my eyes travelled to the small girl curled up on the other side of the table, her skin was pale and tired and I could tell by just looking at her she was in pain. She was in pain because of me, because I left. I couldn't let her go, I had to do anything to keep her here.

"Umm Emily I wanted to show you the thing in the thing for the thing you know the thing" Sam stood up suddenly, his big arms flapping around as he grabbed for his wife and pulled her out of the back door that led straight into the woods behind the house. No one ever used that door so he must have been desperate.

"You look tired" My voice was still weak and I stepped into the light, letting her see me fully.

"You don't look to great yourself" She smiled ever so slightly and my whole body lifted, she was ok, as long as I was here she was ok.

"Sorry for leaving, I need to stop doing that" I couldn't tell if she could hear me, my voice was low even to me but she nodded so I guessed she did. "Are you leaving?" My chest felt like it would burst, I hated the idea of her going.

"I think so, Sam never got round to telling me why I shouldn't so I guess I have no reason" She stood up, her chair screeched across the floor as she tucked it back under. Hovering nervously we both stared at one another, I had no words left, I couldn't just come out and say it. But she did have a reason, she didn't know it but she did.

"You just shouldn't" I finally said something, it felt like I had taken forever and I only said it because she had walked away from me, only to take her cup to the sink but still seeing her go further from me hurt more. She stopped and turned to look at me again, she seemed a little annoyed.

"I'm going to go to bed" It wasn't what I wanted to hear and I don't think it was what she meant to say. She glanced at the stairs and began walking toward it. Her body slow and forced, her pretty face wincing with each movement. I was here, but she was still in pain. But then again so was I, we were together but not really, the bond was tugging at me, it was ready to be accepted and grown more but I wouldn't let it.

"Don't leave, not yet, you can't" I was walking toward her now, she stopped on the third step and swung around to face me, she was annoyed.

"Quil, you cannot just say that and expect me to accept it and stay. Sam comes in here, acting as if he was about to tell me the worst news in the world and then you come in here basically demanding I don't leave. If I'm not being told the truth then I really don't think I want to stay here. So if I do decide my brother is more important to me than people who are obviously hiding something, then I will go home to him. I have my own choice in what I do, you barely know me, none of you know me so I can do whatever the hell I want" She snapped, but her angry tone was so weird on her, it didn't belong there, she wasn't an angry person. It just hurt more, knowing she was hurting because she knew we were hiding the imprint. But I still wasn't able to tell her. I watched her as she stormed to her room and shut the door with force but not enough to make a sound. I was rooted to the spot, I had no idea what to do. This was all so new to me, and the years where the other guys had been going through this imprint stuff with their girls, I had paid no attention, so I hadn't any prior information on what to do.

Instead I walked back, sitting myself down at the kitchen table and laying my head in my hands. I could hear her moving around, running was a better word. Like she was frantic. There was a feeling growing within me, like more pain but more, hysterical pain maybe, a never ending constant stream of aches in my chest.

I sat there for 20 minutes, listening as Claire hurried around upstairs and the aching in my bones got harder to ignore. Then came the sound, the sound I never wanted to hear again, her cries, she was crying, sobbing as my name left her lips and I could no longer sit there. I didn't register moving but I was, I felt like I was flying up the stairs, my surroundings seemed a blur. Her door was opened by a slight gap that grew as my body fell through it. My eyes found her, in a heap on the floor, sobbing into a pile of clothes she held on her lap. My jacket was in her arms. The one I had let her borrow the night we slept outside together.

"Claire shh it's ok" I ran to her, falling next to her as she fell into my chest, her little body rocking with force from the tears that fell down her face. I had done this, I had made her so upset.

"No..it's not ok Quil... I d-d-ont understand..it hurts so bad" Her body gave a spasm as if writhing from a pain and she squeaked from it, digging herself further into me as my hands smoothed over her long hair.

"Claire you're going to be ok, calm down, it's ok" I shifted her from me, going to shut her bedroom door as I heard Sam re-enter the house bellow us but as I stood up and took a step toward her door she let out another cry.

"Don't please don't leave again please" Her little plea was heart breaking, she sounded so vulnerable. I quickly slammed the door shut before going back to her, but this time I picked her up and led her down on her bed before climbing on the other side.

"I will never leave again Claire, I promise I will stop running now" And I meant it, she deserved for me to be a man, to face the issues at hand and help her. Even if it meant being nothing more than a pain killer to her I would be it. Her little body moved, her head came resting down on my chest and without thinking I wrapped my arm over her. Holding her close to me, scared to let her go.

Her finger started tracing circles on my bare chest as her crying soothed, her tears still fell onto my skin, warmth springing from each one but it was her little movements against my skin that made me light up.

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

I had no idea where it came from but as I rifled through the clothes an unbearable shot of pain rocketed through me. I doubled over, falling to the floor beneath me as I clutched harder to the jacket in my arms, the smell of it finally reaching me, it was Quils. Quil, what if he had gone again, what if he had left after I shouted at him. I didn't even know why I shouted, I didn't mean to, I didn't want to leave.

My whole body shook from the sobs that rolled from me, the cries I let out were a mixture of pain and grief that I couldn't understand. I felt like my heart was breaking as I ran around collecting my belongings, I was preparing to leave but my body didn't want to, and neither did my heart, it was fighting and my stubbornness fought back. I heard the door fling open and a hot body falling next to me, I didn't register who it was until they spoke.

"Claire shh it's ok" Quil, I only cried harder, the emotion in his voice hurt too much not to.

"No..it's not ok Quil... I d-d-ont understand..it hurts so bad" The pain doubled now, I couldn't handle this, the way he made me feel. I wanted to be his friend, only his friend but I was drawn to him in a way I knew not to be friendly, I wanted more, even while we hung out and laughed together, or slept together on the sofa, it wasn't enough to be his friend I needed more of Quil.

"Claire you're going to be ok, calm down, it's ok" But as he said it his warmth left, I fell down to the floor, watching through my blurry tear stung eyes as he walked toward the door. He was leaving again, why did he always leave, I couldn't handle him leaving me.

"Don't please don't leave again please"

He came back, as I cried it he came back to me, picking me up so delicately he lowered me to my bed. So gentle and caring, like he knew exactly how to be with me as to not cause more pain. He led next to me, just his presence calming the sorrowed pain that ate at my heart.

"I will never leave again Claire, I promise I will stop running now" And he meant it, I could tell he meant it. I needed to be closer to him, my body moved without me even trying, laying my head across his chest I calmed, tears still fell but I no longer felt so hurt and empty. I couldn't help but move my fingers around his soft skin, feeling the warmth spark through me.

His own arm that wrapped around me began tracing patterns on bottom of my back that was exposed as my top crawled upwards. His touch was relaxing, like I had been soaking in a hot bath for hours, my eyes were closing, his soothing was sending me to sleep. He was silent but the sound of his heart beating was acting as a lullaby, singing me to sleep. And that was the last thing I remembered as I let my tiredness win, the soft sound of his thudding heart and the truth in his promise to never leave me again.

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**18 reviews? Are you freaking kidding me, I LOVE you guys. You're amazing. **

**So, looks like we are getting somewhere with Quil and Claire, hehehe :D This was hard to write, I never know how to get down exactly how I think they would be feeling. Anyway, hope it was ok. Keep up the reviewing guys, it is amazing! And for those wondering about her knowing about the imprint, it won't be long, that is all I am saying :D **

**Wish I could reply to each of you but it would take forever, so thank you so much to each person, and I hope to see you carrying on reading and reviewing :D**

**xxxx**


	21. Chapter 21

My eyes fluttered open, the stream of sunlight coming through my open curtains offered a calming warmth to my face, but there was another type of warmth covering every other part of my body. A smooth tickling sensation ran across my hip bone, my head rested on something, it was hard, but yet soft, and strangely comfortable. A familiar scent filled my senses, it was woodsy, a natural scent of outdoors, trees and grass.

I peered down at my pain free body; the night's sleep had been perfect it didn't feel real. But it was real; I was warm, no aches, no pain, no nothing, just a sleepy calm that tried forcing my eyes back to sleep. I fought it, wanting to look at the source of the tickling along my hip. A tanned hand lay lazily across my side, its arm running down the side of my body but it was its fingers that caught my attention. They were smoothing circles over my hip, occasionally running down toward my belly button before stopping and running back up, it instantly brought a smile to my face, the light feeling it gave me flipped my stomach over in delight. I suddenly became aware of the body pressed against my back, the heavy breathing that tickled at my neck and the heavy set of legs that held my left leg tightly between their shins.

Quil. I had fallen asleep with Quil after my painful freak out. His body was tight to mine, as if refusing to let me go and I liked it, I didn't want him to let me go. I wanted to lie like this forever, for him to tickle me every day for the rest of my life.

"Claire" The breathing that was tickling my neck stopped for a second, to let my breathy name out before the tickles came back. He was awake, he was awake and still brushing my skin.

"You're awake?" He asked again, his body moved slightly as if to get comfortable but he didn't distance himself anymore from me.

"Mmm" Was all I could reply, his hand that was smoothing me dropped, his arm wrapped itself around my body and pulled me closer to his, hugging me. I couldn't calm the butterflies that raged within me, the fiery fluttering made me feel giddy and I couldn't contain the smile that played at my lips.

We were led there for what felt like hours, just him holding me as we dozed more. I wasn't ready to get up but I couldn't fight of the curious thoughts that jumped at me. Every time I was with him I felt this relief from everything, I never had pain around him, I never felt down or empty. Everything slid into placed when he was around and I knew it wasn't from the strange friendship we had built. It was more than that.

"Quil, what's going on here?"

His body tensed, the tickling on my neck stopped as he sucked his breath in, as if not ready to answer the question I had asked. There was more to this than I thought, more to the quick looks he gave me when he thought I wasn't looking, more to the continuous smile he had around me. Just more to it all. And I needed to know what, I couldn't ignore it anymore. This place was fixing me, but it wasn't just this place, there was something else, a magic of sorts. It sounded stupid but everything in me was screaming, it was so loud I could barely hear him as he whispered my name. My pounding heart echoed through my ears as I waited with baited breath for his answer.

"How do you feel?" He finally released his tension, his body relaxed and his arms tightened around me again. His hand that hung around my stomach came up, smoothing my long messy hair away from my face so that his mouth was resting directly behind my exposed ear.

"I feel warm, I never used to, not until you came around. And I haven't got any pain, I feel normal, but better than normal, when I'm with you, I feel good and" I turned my head, trying to see his reaction but I couldn't, my voice trailed off, not letting me say another word.

"And the noise is gone, I feel like me again" His voice was tired, I finally moved my body around so I could see him, he was smiling, he had dimples, the cutest little dimples that curved on his slightly chubby cheeks. I bit my lip as I focused on his voice, his low voice that made my heart pound harder in my chest and filled me with a flurry of feelings I couldn't understand.

"What noise?" I traced my own fingers down my body until I reached his, stopping his circles he was tracing on my tanned skin. My body was full of anticipation, like I had waited so long to hear the answer.

"The screams" He swallowed heavily as he said it, like he had never said it before. My thumping heart faltered, stopping for a split second as I took in his words. The screams. He heard screams. Like me, maybe he heard my screams.

"I feel warm, from you, I used to be cold. But now I am so warm. It's funny, I never used to be able to feel anything, warmth, coldness, hot water from the shower, cold water from the rain, material. But I can feel your skin" He finished, his fingers began tracing circles again and he stared down on me, I lost myself in his stare. But I understood every word he said, I had that feeling, right now, the warmth that covered me was erupting from his hand that rested on my bare skin.

"You know what's going on don't you" I finally breathed out, letting my body relax even more against his. There was still a high anticipation, nervous nausea that was gripping me but I was lost in him.

"Can I take you out tonight?" He ignored my statement, instead letting his eyes sparkle with a type of hope I had only seen in my doctors eyes the other week when she told me I was getting better.

I couldn't answer, my body was a mess of emotions, I felt all this hope toward this boy I knew only a little about. Hope that he could help me, hope he could make me feel again. But there was also more than hope, he was twirling me into a mess, but it was a beautiful mess, I didn't mind that I was confused over him, because he made me feel like it would be ok. I liked him, I was falling hard for him and I couldn't stop myself.

As I stared at the boy led next me to I saw my emotions in his eyes, like he was mirroring me, but he suddenly sat up, his hand moving from its rested place upon my hip and his arm that lay underneath my head came out. He stopped; hovering over me he stroked my hair off my forehead.

"I'll be back, I need to talk to someone, wait for me tonight, I want to take you somewhere" And with that he jumped from the bed, I could hear him as he frantically pounded his way through the house and slammed the front door shut.

It didn't feel like the other times he left, it felt good, I knew he was coming back. I was filled with hope, apprehensive hope and the butterfly feeling of liking him. It was like the look in his eyes before he left lingered on me, keeping me warm and pain free. Why was I so better with him?

Emily suddenly appeared at my door, looking down at me with a worried look on her face.

"Are you ok, what happened?" She was bouncing Bobby on her hip, looking at me like Quil had run out on me again, he had, but he was coming back.

"I'm..perfect..I'm..happy, Emily, why does he make me feel this way?" I sat up, for once being able to push myself up with the force of a normal 19 year old.

"Isn't it magical" That was all she said before turning around and walking back down the stairs, and even though she had just confused me more I still felt unbelievable happy.

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**Sorry it's short but it was all I had time to write, I've been a bit hectic, I guess it's better than nothing right? **

**Anyway, next one will be up soon**

**. Review guys, you went from like 19 to like 8? How? Hahaha anyway, let me know what you think should happen next! Be nice though, I am trying not to rush it, but then I feel like it's got to the point where she needs to know soon :D So REVIEW!**


	22. Chapter 22

**I do not own Twilight**

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I fidgeted with my cold fingers, twirling them around in my lap as I waited not so patiently for Quil to say something. He had picked me up at half 7, drove me to the beach and set up a little blanket. He was sat, his legs crossed and holding a photo album in his hands, but he looked petrified. Which did nothing to calm my nerves as I waited. I couldn't help but feel like something bad was about to happen.

The day had been different, weird, he had left and no pain had come to me like it usually did. I had stayed pain free, stayed full of life. Emily kept telling me it was magical, to trust him, and listen to everything he had to say carefully. And I had promised myself I would, but there was that horrible feeling of something being wrong. We had been sat here for a while, the wind cooling on my skin, the sound of the soft waves comforted me, it was a beautiful night. And technically, in my mind anyway, this was like a date. My first ever date. Even if I was about to be told something my gut was telling me I didn't want to hear, I would be happy because it was sort of a date.

I flexed my ankle as pins and needles began working their way through my legs, but even as I did that there wasn't much pain, just from the numbness. But Emily was right, there was some sort of magic working on me since I had been here, since I had been near Quil. I never had pain, never had nightmares, not when I was with him. He gave me an overwhelming security, I felt safe, alive when I was with him. I shifted my position, getting rid of the pins and needles in my legs as I moved around. I looked up from my hands to see Quil looking at me; he seemed apprehensive, and still utterly terrified.

His shaking hands lifted the photo book, holding it out for me to take; his whole body was shaking with what I took as nerves. I took it, the book; it was small, and just from holding it I knew that half the pages were empty. But I wanted to look anyway.

I ran my fingers across the rough cover, the paper was old and crumbling, it was brown, as if homemade. _Quil and Claire_, the front page had our names on it, gold sparkly writing that looped around perfectly. I flipped the page open, the first crinkled page revealed a picture, me when I was little, no older than two but I was being held above Quil's head, as if he was spinning me around like an aeroplane. My little face was creased into a hysterical smile, I could almost hear the laughter that ran through my eyes. I looked happy. So did Quil. His face was in a splitting smile, his own eyes sparkling with the chuckle I had grown to love hearing. I glanced up, looking across at the so different man sat next to me, no smile, no sparkle, just fear. He nodded back down to the book, signalling for me to go on and I did, I flicked the next page. A crayon picture, a stick boy and a stick girl.

C L IA AR EE AA... a misshaped heart and then Q UUU L I

I had been so young I had misspelt the names. The stick people were us. I could feel the frown on my face, I was unsure as to why he was showing me this but I flicked the page over anyway. The next pages held more photos of us, of us playing board games, Quil reading to me, me putting make up on him, him doing my hair and makeup. It was just a mixture of pictures of us and drawings I had done of us. But I had no idea why he was showing it to me. My hand froze as I turned over the last picture full page. It was just Quil. Photos of him by himself, not looking at the camera, at family parties, sat alone, he looked dead. It hurt, seeing him how he had been when I had first arrived. He looked ill.

"Nessie made that" Quil's raspy voice broke out, tearing me from the stare I had held on the lonely pictures. I glanced at the changed man in front of me, he no longer looked ill, he looked healthy, but he still seemed sad. Why had Nessie made this? I couldn't get the question out, I just stared at him hoping he would understand me.

"She figured it might help explain everything, I don't know why it would. But she made it while I talked to Sam and Carlisle today. That's where I was, I needed to go over things, understand it more before I talked to you"

A bird began singing somewhere behind us, the waves picked up their pace and crashed harsher against the rocks as I sat staring at the handsome man in front of me, his words floated through me, I was hearing them, but for some reason I couldn't get my head around them. His head was burrowed, like he was praying a silent prayer. His eyes were squeezed shut and his voice was strained and serious. I stayed silent, offering him control, not that I thought he wanted it, he looked terrified, but I felt he needed it. He needed to be the one to guide this. He finally looked up, his eyes were deep and I couldn't help but search them, he lost me in that sea of brown that swirled his eyes. My body jerked, I knelt upwards and shuffled across to him on my knees, I couldn't help but smile at the ease in which I moved. I had never been able to shuffle around on my knees, it always felt like they would break. I stopped as I reached his side, my hand closed down on his arm that although was warm, felt like it was shivering from the cold. I realised he was shaking, not wolf shakes, but human shakes, nerves. He looked away again; too soon because I felt like I needed more time to look into those eyes. My heart was thundering in my chest, pumping at a 100 miles per hour as I sat here, watching the guy I had come to need as he worked himself up to say something.

"I wish I knew how to do this" He spoke huskily, his voice breaking from the emotion that ran through him. He was so vulnerable. "I don't understand how to tell you this, without hurting you or sounding like a monster"

I pursed my lips, trying to find something to say but I couldn't, so instead I took the hard boiled lollipop Emily had shoved in our tiny little picnic basket, opened it and started sucking. Trying to concentrate on anything but the nerves that fluttered my stomach.

"I want you to know everything, but I have no idea where to start" His head bowed again, his hands propping him up. I needed to reassure him he was ok, although, I wasn't fully sure he was ok at this point. He looked like he would pass out any minute.

"Start with the book maybe, Nessie made it for a reason right? Did she tell you that reason, or why she used those photos?" Even my voice broke, mirroring the nervousness that was obviously eating at Quil. I went back to sucking the lolly while he just nodded.

"She said it would help you see how it all started or something, how it evolved. We were so close Claire, so close. You never did anything without me; I even had to go on your first day of day care, because you were too scared to go alone" My breath caught in my throat as I realised he sounding choked up, like he was about to cry. I again looked across at him, he was water eyed, like he was about to cry, but there was no tears slipping down his cheeks.

"How much did you learn about the Quileute legends when they told you about the wolves?" Quil looked up again, his watery eyes meeting mine.

"The basics I think, why?"

He sighed, looking up at the starry sky before back down to me. "I guess that will work, I'm not good at the stories. But you understand about us, shape shifters, taking the form of wolves because that's our ancestors. You get that right? We protect people from vampires?" I just nodded at him, sucking the lolly a little too hard to look normal, I was freaking out and this was the only thing calming me down. I stared at him, watching his Adams apple slide up and down his throat, the idea of kissing him there over took me and it was the hardest battle to keep myself sat still. I was crushing on him, too much. The wind whipped at us again and he shivered, lifting his eyes to fall on mine once again, stopping me in my tracks as I once again got lost in him.

"There is one story, one more part to it all that no one has told you yet. Probably the most confusing, strangest part of it all" He stopped, his top teeth came out to clamp down on his bottom lip, as if stopping him from carrying on. I felt like I was so close to the truth, but so far. He didn't want to tell me.

"Quil, if it involves me, I need to know, if it explains this" I waved between us, hoping he would understand I meant the weird feelings. "I need to know" My hand clamped around his arm harder, his warmth again rushed through me, like my own personnel blanket.

"Claire...the reason we were close, the reason you feel...different with me, it's because of this wolf magic I guess, I suppose its magic, it's the reason you feel like you do around me, the reason I feel like I do" He kept stopping, like he was stumbling over what to say. I squeezed his arm again, trying to offer support, once again he closed his eyes, taking in a huge breath as he steadied himself. "Claire, it's called imprinting"

There's that word again, imprinting, I think that's what ducks did, like they followed their mother ducks around, or something. What the hell was imprinting?

"Oh god, I cannot do this without sounding like some maniac monster" He groaned, his wolf shakes made an appearance, he was getting worked up. I smoothed my fingers along his tanned skin, trying to calm him but he just shook his head. "It's where a wolf finds his soul mate. The person he lives for, the reason he fights, the reason he breathes and lives. He is bound to earth by that person, that girl. You. I imprinted on you, when you were little" His arm shot from underneath my hand, he seemed to make a grabbing movement for me, as if to pin me here but he stopped, and instead raised his hand to run it through his soft curls.

Imprint. Soul mate. Me. Quil. Wolf. Bound to earth by me. So I was a mess, my insides were jumbled as I tried to piece together the information. I was a baby. I couldn't be his soul mate as a baby. Was that why my parents left? He was some paedophile? No Quil wasn't like that, he wasn't.

"It's not like that, the photos look at them, you were happy, you wouldn't be happy like that if I had been hurting you. Please don't run. It wasn't anything more than friends; I was like your brother. This is so hard to explain. I sound crazy" He gripped his hair, like he was trying to pull it out. The lolly I was sucking was dropping from my mouth. This was strange. I couldn't figure out how I felt.

"Duck's imprint" So that was the stupidest thing I could have said. I watched as Quil went from a hard set face to chuckling, his shakes turned from worried to amused. Why had I said that?

"Ok, so that's a first. It's not really like duck imprinting. It's like I live for you Claire. I will be whatever you need me to be, friend, brother, other stuff" He stopped, his voice slipping slowly. I think I understood, kind of. He was bound to me, so we had a special connection?

"You don't think I'm a crazed peado ?" I shook my head at him as his shaking voice asked; he let out a long sigh and smiled slightly. He still seemed awkward though.

"What has this got to do with me now though? Why are you telling me now? I get it, were are...soul mates, I guess. I mean, I don't get it. But I do. I am so confused" I let my body sink over, I couldn't understand it all.

"It's because of the wolf gene. I'm bound to you, Sam and Emily, Jared, Kim, Paul etc etc. But Nessie made this book to show that it was never more than friends, the relationship between us, it was supposed to evolve, this book, Nessie wanted to make it to show that. So it starts of us as close friends, your drawings of us, you felt drawn to me from the beginning, then the ones of me" He stopped, his voice trailing from confidence to self conscious. Like he couldn't continue but I knew exactly what he was saying.

"When I left? That was you when I left?" My heart dropped, I was the person who had hurt him, and Emily told me ages ago that he was the way he was because he had been hurt so badly he could no longer trust anyone. I had been the one to do that to him.

"Yeah, no one knew what it would do. It had never happened before. We thought because you were so young, you wouldn't realise. That our bond wasn't strong enough to hurt anyone. But I got worse, I couldn't be away from you, I tried so hard to find you. But every day the bond got weaker, I got weaker; it wasn't supposed to work both ways Claire. It was supposed to just be me" His words were spoken slowly, his tongue crept out and licked his dry lips as he stared at me, as if trying to make me understand him but I was too confused. It was all too much too soon. I had barely wrapped my head around him being my soul mate; I could understand what he meant. The bond was supposed to evolve over time, but we weren't given that opportunity, instead the bond got ripped apart. I think.

"Claire, since you came back, Emily's kept a diary, noting when you seemed worse and better, she gave it to Carlisle. He showed it to me today. I mean, I had my suspicions, I thought it when you told me about the nightmares. But now we really know. It's all my fault. Everything that has hurt you has been my fault, you were supposed to be fine, live a normal life. None of this was supposed to happen to you" His voice was full of anguish, and guilt, unbearable guilt that hit me to my core. His words finally reached me. We were bound to one another, when I left he turned into a shell of a person, he was depressed, ill. Like I was.

I was like I was because of this bond, this imprinting thing. I looked down at my tattooed wrists, remembering the day it happened. The depression had come on so quickly, so suddenly, it had hit me so hard I had immediately felt like I needed to die. It was because of him, because of a guy I had never met. This was all wrong. Everything I had gone through was him? I flew to my feet before I could listen to any more. I needed to go home. I needed Emily.

"Claire wait, Claire, please. Your better when you're with me" I held up my hand cutting him off as he ran after me.

"I am dying Quil, dying, the doctors have told me that, no magical imprint bond shit will change that. This is.. I don't know what this is but I am dying from a real illness not magic" I shook my head as I backed away, this was all too much. I couldn't have spent years fighting an invisible disease; I couldn't have nearly died for a guy I never met.

He shook his head back at me, his eyes sparkling like I had wanted them too but this time it just freaked me out. "You're not dying; you won't as long as I stay near you. I promise, I will stay near you. The bond, we didn't think it would hurt you but it did, the longer you were away, the worse it got. It was trying to force us back together and it got worse as it broke"

I would have died if I hadn't come here, but because I came back to a guy I couldn't remember, I would live. It was too confusing. My mind was reeling, this wasn't my life. This was something you read about in books, watched in movies. This wasn't real. How could I be bound to him, I mean, sure, I felt something for him, I felt like I was falling in love with him. But how had I gone my whole life needing someone I had never realised I knew. It was crazy.

"I won't let you die, you are going to be fine Claire" His hand enclosed around my arms, pulling me to his warm body and back to the blanket. We fell down onto it, his hands keeping a hold of me, tightly but not too tightly. We sat in silence for a little while longer, his fingers tracing circles up and down my arms as I tried to come to terms with the information. I think I got it. But then, I don't think I did. There was so many questions, so many unanswered questions.

I felt numb. And numb tears rolled down my cheeks for what I felt was no reason, I felt like I shouldn't be crying, yet I couldn't stop. Here I was, sat with a wolf, a man who turned into a wolf. Who imprinted on me, but not like the ducks. A different imprint, I was his soul mate. His reason for living as he put it. Which I had to admit, made my heart lift with hope, but then drop again, if I had died, he would have and vice versa. Coming here, literally saved my life. I had spent years battling science, finding new treatments, new drugs, new doctors, everything revolved around science and theory and logic. When in reality, my life was being held on by magic, by legends, myths, fairytale type love. It seemed so, impossible.

Death had haunted me for so long, crept into my dreams, destroyed my hopes. And here, I sat so close to this beautiful man who was telling me he would save me. The devotion in his eyes, his voice dripped with truth. And no matter how hard I shook it from me, the crush I had on him was intensifying. He had been causing me to blush for a few days, causing butterflies in my stomach and fire trails on my skin. He was the reason I had been broken for so long, and now he was the reason I was fixing.

"That's really why I was so ill?" I whispered to him, as I finished his arms came out and pulled me to his lap, cradling me protectively. The butterflies swam up, swirling around despite the confusion I was reeling from.

"Tell me everything"

And I did, I went through every detail that I remembered, every prognosis, every treatment, every new doctor, new pains, new feelings. And he returned the information. His feelings had been worse, he had literally felt empty, he had literally felt dead from the moment I left. His eyes swam in anguish, guilt, mourning. Like he had felt responsible, he wasn't responsible. My parents had taken me away no matter how many times Emily had warned them not to. The tears kept coming as we told our stories. I felt so hurt, this could have been so different if my parents had heard them out. He looked awful as he sat here, telling me every detail of his lonely life. I ached for him, I wanted to hold him like he was holding me. I wanted to promise him he would never feel that way again.

"Quil" I turned my head to look up at him, his hands scooped down and took a hold of my arms, bringing my wrists to his mouth he placed two gentle kisses on my tattoos over my scars, the pain in his eyes intensified to a new level and tears escaped him. His face creased into self hatred and I crawled from his lap, kneeling in front of him as I cupped his head in my hands.

"That was all my fault, it got worse, the same time that happened to you. I wanted to kill myself because I couldn't find you, I tried, I tried to kill myself and my depression ran to you, you could have died because I had been so selfish Claire" He was sobbing, uncontrollable sobs as I tried to hold his head up. My heart tugged, I didn't blame him for this. Not one little bit of me blamed him. I leant in, placing a long kiss on his forehead as he cried but he still didn't stop. I rested my forehead against his, revelling in his hot breath that whooshed onto my skin through his cries. I couldn't stop him so I let him cry it out. He needed it. His hot skin comforted me but his words were killing me.

"I am so sorry, so sorry Claire, I could have hurt you so badly. I am so sorry, I should have done more. I felt so alone, so empty that I just stopped talking, I stopped telling people how I felt, if I had, then we could have done more to find you. I am so sorry" His body was rocking, his voice broke with each word and I felt the urge to kill my parents. He blamed himself. Imprint was like Emily said, magical, I didn't hate the imprint, I didn't hate him. They had changed my name, they had taken me.

"I always felt empty, and then when I started getting closer with you, I felt full again, like I had found my missing piece. The way you make me feel, like I am alive. For the first time ever. Quil, don't be sorry, I don't blame you. I don't hate this." He sniffled, moving his head away from me. His frown was back, his eyes searching my face as he slipped back from my hold.

"It's the imprint, but it's not love like the others have, it's the pain. You want me to stop the pain, its desperation to stop the pain Claire. And I mean it when I say I will be here to stop the pain, but I want you to live a normal life, the one you should have lived for all these years" He couldn't look me in the eye as he said it. He just danced his eyes around the beach. My heart dropped. Desperation. He thought I was desperate for him to stop the pain. He thought that was what this was? I had felt something for him before I knew. He had no idea how I felt.

"Quil. I am not desperate for you to stop any pain, I like having you around because I like you, I did before I knew about this, I like you being around me" I backed off, standing to my feet as he scrambled with the blanket beneath us.

"It's just you getting better Claire, and that's all I care about, that you don't die and you can go on and live your life"

All he cared about was me living; he didn't care about me, as in me. Just that I didn't die. Because if I died, that meant he would die. Desperation. He said I was desperate for him. I wanted to kick him, hit him and scream at him but I couldn't. I had no energy left. His mixed signals were kicking me in the gut, he lived for me, he wanted me to understand it all but when I did he told me I was wrong. It felt like I had been smacked in the face, his words hurt more than any pain of the imprint bond breaking.

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**Awww so there you have it, all out in the open.. hope this was ok?! Hopefully. **

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**xxxx**


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own Twilight**

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The following day I was back to feeling crap, not from pain or aching because Quil had been here all day, but from his words. They had hurt me a lot. I really felt like I was starting to like him, and he had shot me down. Friend zoned.

He wanted nothing more than to make sure I stayed alive. He wasn't interested in me like I was with him. I hadn't told Emily anything; just that he had explained it to me but I hadn't told her why I had spent the day moping around the house. I couldn't even bring myself to feel happy about the fact I was no longer dying. I was just upset.

I understood it all, I understood that when I was little he was just a brother figure to me, or friend or whatever it was. I understand that by my parents taking me away the ripping of the bond hurt us both and that by being back I would get better. I understood it all. But what I didn't understand was how Quil went from proclaiming me to be the reason he lived, to telling me he only cared about keeping me alive so I could go off and live a life with someone else. That made no sense. Which was weird, because surely the bit that shouldn't make sense is a 16 guy finding his soul mate in a 2 year old girl. But that bit made sense to me, that bit was magical and in some ways beautiful. But Quil was the biggest mystery of all of this.

I sat on the sofa, wrapped in another of Sam's big jumpers that I had found laying around. The TV flashed with the seventh romantic movie of the day, I couldn't piece it together. He had told me I was the only reason he lived and fought all these years for, but then he had me right here and he was telling me he only cared that I didn't die. He didn't actually care about me. I stared at the screen as Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried ran around the screen so in love in Dear John, bastards. Why can't that stuff be real? I mean, yes, I was Quil's soul mate so I could have that type of love and magical ending, but he wasn't interested and that killed me to know.

"Ok, enough you're driving me crazy, what the hell happened last night?" Emily stormed over to me and plonked herself on the sofa, I glanced around, Quil had left. I looked back to my aunt who was waiting not so patiently for my answer.

"He only cares about me not dying. He said I was his only reason for living, but then when I told him I liked him, he said it was just desperation to keep the pain away and that he just wanted to make sure I lived so I could live a normal life. He doesn't want me, I think the imprint broke, he doesn't want me" I sounded so pathetic and even the sound of it made my heart tug for me. Emily on the other hand seemed to turn pink as her eyes flamed with anger.

"Coward. Son of a bitching coward" She finally exploded, I had never heard her speak a bad word about anyone so this was sort of amusing. I stifled my laughter and she shot me a look telling me to shut up. "That boy could be hit in the freaking head with his feelings and he still wouldn't know what it meant. Idiot. He is so stupid. Claire, he's just scared, he didn't mean it like that." She shook her head around in annoyance as she looked at me, her words weren't making me feel better because no matter what she said, Quil had told me himself that he was only around to keep me alive because if I died, he would die and he obviously did not want to die.

"It's fine Em, if all I can have him as if a friend then that will have to do" I hated the thought of just friends, Quil was starting to become a major part of my life and I couldn't imagine him not being around.

"Hey hey hey, imprint means soul mate, not friend, he is being an idiot. Look, Quil has a lot of catching up to do, he spent years in his own mind and world, and he has no idea how to handle this. He will come around" She stood up again and went to walk away but stopped and turned back to me. "How do you feel about him?"

I glanced at her and frowned.

How could I sum that up, I felt alive with him, every nerve in my body was on edge when he was around, his touch sent me into a burning swirl of feelings and basically I craved for him to be near me. There were no words. I sighed as I looked up at her. It didn't matter how I felt for him because he didn't feel the same for me, but I realised I more than liked him. The truth is, I would rather die than live a life where I was nothing more than a bother to Quil's life, where I was nothing more than someone who had hurt him and taken his life away.

"I'm falling in love with him"

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...

**Quil's point of view**

I sat in silence, my body unable to lift itself from the depressive funk I had been in all day. Last night had not ended how I wanted it to. It had gone fine, she understood everything, and then she just snapped and went all weird like she hated me. And she had barely talked to me today. I ran over everything that had happened, trying to pin point what had happened to make her annoyed. I couldn't see it, I had told her the truth.

"Idiot" Embry snapped at me, his thoughts annoying me as he ran to near where I was. We were supposed to be on patrol but I couldn't be bothered to move.

"What?" I snapped back, I was in no mood for his shit.

"He said you're an idiot" Sam joined in now, he wasn't supposed to take sides but he had been taking Embry's all day while Embry insulted me.

"Yep, because you were an idiot Quil" Sam piped up again. I groaned, they just wouldn't give up, but they hadn't told me what their issue was.

"Simple. You hurt her. You told her everything, you told her she was your life basically, and she near enough admitted she liked you, and you go and tell her your only here to make sure she doesn't die. Dude, you were an asshole" Embry ribbed at me, he was annoyed at me. He cared about Claire and it was annoying him the way I had told her. Although I hadn't thought there was anything wrong with the way I told her. I shook my head; I was telling her the truth. She was desperate for me to take her pain away. I wanted her to have a normal life; I couldn't give her a normal life. I could give her life, but not one she deserved.

"Oh my god I am going to punch you" Sam groaned, he was close to me; I could see him walking toward me through the trees. "You're her imprint, Quil you're the only type of life she wants. And you have feelings for her too. I saw your thoughts yesterday, you spent the night with her and it killed you to leave. She drives you crazy and you like her too. Your being a coward"

No I wasn't, I mean, yes I did like being around her. But she did deserve more than this, I was the reason she nearly died all those years ago, I am the reason she nearly died now. She should be with someone who won't hurt her. I was a monster, a wolf, someone who took her choices away. Plus, there was no way she would ever feel anything more than friend or "pain killer" for me. She was young and beautiful and full of life that was waiting to be let out. I was older, much older, and well, a wolf and just not the right person for her.

"I give up, someone kill me. It's painful trying to talk to you, it really is painful" Embry turned and ran away instead of to me. He was trying to block me out as he went. He hated me right now. I hated me right now to be fair; I had done something to hurt her.

"YES YOU TOLD HER YOU DIDNT CARE ABOUT HER YOU IDIOT" Sam roared at me now and I flinched from the loudness of his internal yelling. "Eurgh, just go home Quil, go home and take time to think about what it is that's going through your thick skull" He groaned, this time he turned and walked from me. I felt they were both being unreasonable. I hadn't done anything that bad. I mean, she liked me as a friend, someone to take her pain away. It didn't matter what I felt about her.

"And what is it that you feel for her?" Embry joined in again, both of them halted to hear my answer and I thought about it.

If I was focusing just on my feelings for her, then I felt more than I should. I wanted to be near her all the time and not just because she made me feel calm and alive, because she was just this amazing person who I wanted to know every little thing about. The way she smelled of strawberries drove me crazy, her soft loving eyes, and her infectious laugh. She just sent my body into overdrive and I couldn't stand being away from her. I bowed my head as my heart pounded in my chest and realization hit me. I don't think I could handle watching her live a life with someone else.

I'm falling in love with her.

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**Sorry about the shortness! Quality not quantity ey? Hehe anyway, thank you for getting me over 200 reviews on this beautiful mess of a story :D **

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**Anyway, next one will be up ASAP. Get your thoughts in, ideas in, any other comments in as I will always read through and take on any ideas given :D **


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own Twilight**

**Quil point of view**

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I was shaking all over with nerves, I hadn't felt this way before today. I had been fine around her until the guys made me admit my stupid feelings and now I was petrified. I mean, I now knew I liked her but even as they told me over and over that she liked me, I couldn't believe it. I mean, why would she? I was old. Too old for her. She would think I was a pervert. My hands were shaking as I approached the house; her scent hit me as soon as I hit the top step to the front door. Her scent made me even more nervous, I wanted to smell that smell forever, she was so sweet.

"Kissing your ass aint what my lipsticks for" Her voice echoed through the closed front door, she was singing. "I'm gonna run this town, run this town" She trailed off into humming and I walked to the door, peering in through the window, she was stirring something on the stove, wiggling her small body to the music. She had gained weight since she had been here, when she arrived she was skinny and sick looking, now she was a little bigger, not like huge, she was still small, but she had shape to her now, she just looked healthier.

"Cause I'm tired of second best, tired of sitting bitch, tired of hypocrites" She swung her head around her high pony tail flew from side to side in the movement. She was acting like a normal teen, I couldn't help but smile, she was getting better. She was a pretty good singer too. I stayed watching as she leant over and lifted the spoon she had been mixing the contents of the pan with and tasted whatever it was she was making.

"You know you look like a creeper right Quily?" The high pitched squeak of a little girl signalled I had company and I turned to see Jared and Suzie making their way up the steps, Emily was in tow with the twins and Bobby. She was smirking at me, damned Emily. She always knew stuff she shouldn't; Sam probably told her what I had said.

"Yeah dude, totally stalkerish right now" Jared walked past and slapped my shoulder before walking into the kitchen, the music turned down instantly and the singing I had been quite happy listening to slowed into humming again as she realised she had company.

I followed the group in and watched as the twins ran to their room while Jared went straight to the fridge and grabbed food before going to the living room. Did he not have his own house?

Emily walked straight upstairs with Bobby, while Suzie went diving for Claire, her body slammed into the back of Claire and she let up a surprised squeal as the little girl cuddled into her. I had to admit, jealousy as raging within me, I wanted to be able to run up and hug her like that. But we were friends, just friends. I had been friend zoned by my own imprint, that's what Collin had said anyway, he had received a harsh hit to the head from Jacob as he said it but I figured it true.

"Hey Suzie" Claire turned and smiled down at the girl in her arms. "How was school?" I smiled, she was nice to Suzie.

"It was soooooo boring, I just want to go home and play with . Momma made me change the name, she said it was rude to call it Claire so it's now" Suzie let her go and backed off, jumping excitedly from one foot to the other Claire just nodded at the information. "I can't go home yet though, daddy has to speak to Uncle Sam so I'm stuck here"

Claire nodded again and looked up to look at Jared, but her eyes widened and darted across to where I was still stood by the door, she hadn't realised I was here yet. She seemed a little caught off guard by me and she half smiled half grimaced. So I had seriously pissed her off last night.

"Quily was watching you through the window, I think he has a crush on you" Suzie piped up again, her comment was a matter of fact rather than a suggestion and Jared started coughing wildly from in the living room, he was smirking but he noticed the uncomfortable look on both mine and Claires faces and called for his daughter to go to him. She did, but not before making kissy faces at me. Little rat. She was out to get me, payback for the years I ignored her. I poked my tongue out at her, it was a little childish but she started it.

A giggle caught my attention and I looked up to see Claire watching me, her eyes sparkled with laughter as she shook her head at me and turned back to the stove. I wanted to say something, tell her that little miss annoying was right, I did have a crush on her, but she went back to humming, the song had changed to another teen pop kind of happy tune that I hadn't ever heard.

I watched as she spooned the contents of the pan into a bowl and turned to walk toward me, she kept her head bowed but I wanted to say something, ask her to come outside with me or something.

"Claire do you..." I was cut off yet again by the high pitched squeal of Suzie.

"OOOOO I love Selena Gomez... I can make the stars dance light up the mooooooooooonnnn" She ran back into the kitchen, dodging Jared's attempts to grab her as she started twirling in circles. I had no idea who this Selena Gomez person was, but I hated her right now. Why did I always get interrupted?

Claire looked up, rolling her eyes at me she creased her eyebrows in what I took to be annoyance at the interruption to her food. I took the opportunity and nodded my head toward the door behind me, my heart clenched as I waited for her response and it exploded when she nodded with a smile and stood up to follow me. We walked out into the yard, stopping on the bottom steps of the porch we sat down and I finally looked into her bowl that she clung close to her. Thick yellowy goo was in there, steam coming from it, it looked vile.

"Custard, a little bowl of happiness" She answered, she licked her lips before taking a huge spoonful and gulping it down. "So good" She offered the bowl to me and I frowned, I had never really tried custard. It looked horrible. But she was smiling so sweetly so I took it from her, bringing the spoon to my mouth I looked at it, it looked weird and had no distinct smell. But I popped it in my mouth all the same and to my surprise, it was pretty good. "Told you, A-M-A-ZING" She grabbed the bowl back and I just chuckled as she gulped more of it down.

She kept alternating mouthfuls between us until the bowl was empty, she genuinely looked sad as she took the last little bit from the spoon. I had never seen her eat much, or seen her eat as fast as she had eaten the custard. I just watched her as she used her finger to scoop out the left over dribbles in the bowl. She noticed me looking because she blushed a light shade of pink before setting the bowl down on the floor beside us. She had a little bit on her cheek, without thinking I lifted my thumb up and brushed it off, the goo clung to my thumb rather than her cheek and she blushed deeper pink while my whole body exploded at the close proximity of our faces.

"Umm, my mom started feeding it to me when I was sick, when I went through the eating disorder stuff. I couldn't keep anything down. They tried everything, then one day a little old woman at the hospital we went too suggested custard, mom made some and as if by magic, it stayed down. So she religiously fed me six bowls a day, you would think I would have got fed up with it but nope, I could eat it all day long and still want more" She started off smiling before turning to me with a frown. "Hey did you ever go through that? Like stopping eating and stuff, or was that just me?"

I pursed my lips trying to think, I had never eaten much until she came back but I don't think I had stopped completely. Although I did go through a stage of eating nothing but chocolate pudding. "I ate very little; I did have a thing for chocolate pudding at one point though"

"Your own little tub of happiness huh? Guess we are both dessert people" She laughed again and stopped short like she had said something wrong. It went slightly awkward, like neither of us knew what to say, I had no idea what to do next.

"Were you really watching me?" She finally said something, her eyes sparkled with interest and it was my turn to blush. Busted. I nodded and dropped my head, how embarrassing. She just laughed and I looked up as she nudged me with her shoulder. "Well if I had known I had an audience I would have put my good voice on" She giggled more and I couldn't help but smile, I liked happy Claire. I more than liked happy Claire, I craved happy Claire.

"You sounded good" I sounded like an ass. I internally kicked myself. I was so out of practice at this stuff. She giggled again and nodded sarcastically. "No you did" Now I sounded desperate.

"Really? Bahaha you're just being nice, Suzie on the other hand, the girl has talent" She laughed again and I had to laugh in sarcastic agreement, the kid was still singing and it sounded like she was killing a cat.

Our laughter died and I scraped at anything in me to get her to talk again. "Have you heard off Max?" I regretted it instantly, the last time I had spoken about Max she had wanted to leave. She nodded slightly and sighed.

"I rang him this morning, he has a big football game in a few days, college scouts will be there. He told me he banned me from coming home and he won't come here. I guess it's for the best, if I went there I would get sick again right? And if he came here he wouldn't get a scholarship for football" And here it was, we arrived at the little downer of her being sick, and me being the only thing keeping her alive. She sounded resentful; at least that's how I saw it. She wanted to go home but she was trapped here because I was keeping her alive. I was still just her lifeline to her, all hope of Embry being right about her liking me faded and I fell into a sad silence as did she.

"I'm sorry for the other night, if I overloaded you with information. I wanted to do it so that you would understand but I guess I'm not good at explaining" I finally spoke up, I should say something, I should apologise for ruining everything for her.

"Thank you for telling me, I do understand it. Well, most of it. I appreciate you telling me the truth" She stopped and looked at me, her frown was back and she seemed to halter before saying the rest of her sentence. "That was the whole truth, everything you said. You meant it all, about keeping me alive and stuff?"

I nodded, so she was focusing on that. Well crap, Collin was right, friend zoned. I was her personal life support. Great. I had wanted so badly for my fears to be false. She just nodded and looked down at the ground, she looked like she was about to cry.

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

He nodded; I had asked whether his comment about caring only to keep me alive was true and he nodded. I felt a little heartbroken. No a lot heartbroken. I had thought for a split second that Emily had been right, that he actually cared for me, as a person but he didn't. I was his life support. If I died, he died. It was a horrible thought, Quil dead. But it was what would happen if I left. So I couldn't leave. Nor did I really want to, I couldn't be away from him, not because I would get sick but because I would miss him.

I couldn't go back to my parents, I was still angry at them, they had messed it all up. If they had stayed here I would be healthy and falling in love with Quil naturally. It was so messed up. I was annoyed t them still, they hadn't bothered ringing Max for a few days, he had told me so this morning. Stupid people.

I glanced across at Quil, I could feel the tears in my eyes, it hurt to know he didn't like me like that. We fit so perfectly together. The truth is, is that I had known he was watching me earlier, even before Suzie said so, I had felt him there and I hadn't stopped from embarrassment. I was comfortable to carry on singing in front of him. I guess it was the imprint, but I liked it, knowing when he was nearby.

As I looked at him I felt the urge to tell him everything, tell him how I loved him, how I wanted to be closer to him even as we sat here with our arms touching but a slam of a car door ripped my attention away. I glanced up and my heart dropped at the two people walking toward us.

My parents...

* * *

**Sorry, once again, their wires are crossed and they haven't talked about it much but her parents arriving will help it I promise :D Don't get annoyed with me, I promise things will all work out soon :D Plus you should know if you read my stories I tend to take time in getting things to happen haha, it won't be long though I promiseeeee :D Review peopleee :D **

**The song she was singing in the kitchen was Run this town by Lucy Hale, it's my guilty pleasure what can I say... **

**Anyway, until next time :D **

**xxx **


	25. Chapter 25

**I feel like I have rushed their relationship but then I realise I am well over 20 chapters, so maybe I haven't rushed it? Either way, time to get things moving people. I am so sorry for the wait on this, I have been going through a rough few days and I just have not had the time or energy to write much, so I am sorry. And again, I am sorry but I am going away for the weekend to relax and get back to me again so my next update should be Monday or Tuesday at the latest. **

**Now the thing with the parents, I wrote their return then regretted it because I didn't want to focus on them, but I suppose it needed to be done but sorry if it feels a little random and rushed and weird, but I didn't want to focus on them too much because this is Quil and Claire story time, but still I think it adds a little something, maybe. Anyway, enjoy the chapter. **

**Thank you for all your support and as usual, you are all amazing.**

* * *

My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach as I saw them both stop as they realised it was me on the steps. My mom broke into a smile but her eyes darted from me to Quil and it faltered. I was sure I had stopped breathing, my body was as still as a rock as I just watched my dad turn redder and redder with anger as he stared down at Quil. My mind was blank, I had no idea what to do and as I tried to speak I seemed to forget how to and instead I let out a slight squeak that in my head was supposed to be 'mom'.

I turned my head to look at Quil, he had turned pale again as he stared wide eyed at my parents, he too seemed unable to speak because his mouth was opening and shutting as if he was a fish. My breathing started again but it came out in a big whoosh and made me sound like I was hyperventilating, this caused Quil to spin to me, his hands lifted as if to take hold of me but a load roar from my dad stopped him.

"Get away from my daughter you monster"

Quil stopped as my dad's yells hit us, as his words sunk in Quil jumped from the steps and away from me, my whole body went cold, not cold from him moving from me but cold with hatred. Hatred towards my parents. They had caused so much damage and they waltz in and try to cause more. I stood up and looked at them, they were storming closer, my dad was beetroot red like he was about to explode while my mom looked ready to cry as she ran for me. The front door behind me swung open and I looked to see Emily and Jared walk out, Emily immediately turned pale while Jared just watched as if the encounter meant nothing to him, I don't think he recognised my parents.

"Amy" Emily started, her voice was low and a little croaky but her small body went flying past me toward my mom who looked livid as she took in her sister running toward her. Emily stopped a few steps ahead and turned to look at me before deciding that I would say nothing so she should. "Maybe you should come inside" She was polite enough, she always was but my mom seemed to flip out at this, her left eye started twitching like it did whenever she shouted at Max and before I could really register what had happened she had lifted her hand up and delivered the loudest slap across Emily's cheek.

I gasped and my own hand flew to my mouth to stifle my gasp, I had never seen anyone be rude to Emily in the slightest so seeing someone slap her was a shock, seeing my own mother slap her was just weird. Jared ran past me now, his body was vibrating as he made his way toward them.

"You had her here the whole time, you stupid woman she's ill and you kept her hidden. You have no right to her" My mom's voice was low and venomous, she sounded psychotic.

The cold hatred that had previously ran through me exploded and instead I felt a fiery anger that I had never felt before, I wanted to scream at my parents and tell them they had caused everything but I couldn't. Tantrums and screaming was never my thing so instead I set a glare at my mom and she winced under it.

"You need to leave" I spoke loud enough so they heard me but quiet enough not to be shouting, my dad finally turned to set his stare on me and his jaw twitched.

"Don't be so stupid, you're coming home" My dad snapped before making his way toward me slowly, my mom followed him and Jared pulled Emily away, he was still shaking with anger, from what I gathered no imprint was allowed to be hurt, and the woman in front of him had just full on smacked one.

"I'm an adult I can go where I like and I want to stay here" without realising I was doing so, I was moving closer to Quil, I wanted the safety he made me feel and my dad seemed to noticed my slow shuffling because he flew into a rage and stormed toward me.

"You are not staying here with this creep, now get your ass in the car" He shouted his shout that made me flinch, the angry one that warned you not to say another word back to him and Quil growled from behind me, I went to retaliate but my dad's big hands came crashing around my upper arms in a grip that was too tight for my small fragile body, it felt like he was breaking me but he didn't notice my flinch as he threw me forward toward the car, his grip held firm he continue to try drag me and no matter how hard I kicked my feet into the ground he was winning.

"Get your hands off her" Quil was at our side in an instant, his own huge hands wrapped themselves around my dad's wrists and his voice was growling with each word.

"I told you to leave her alone, you're a monster" My dad barked back and his grip tightened, I squealed and my mom tried prying his hands from me, her face a little panicked by how angry my dad had become.

"Get your god damn hands off her" Quil erupted in a yell so loud it sounded like it was impossible to come from him, he was normally so calm, it was wrong how angry he looked. My dad took him in for a moment before releasing me and I fell back where my mom caught me, I shook her off instead stumbling across to Jared and Emily. My mom looked shocked, like she could explode in a new round of fury at her sister.

"Get away from me" My dad pushed Quil from him which was a bad move on his part because in an instant Quil began violently shaking and squared up to my father, I looked to Jared for help but he didn't offer any, instead he had a smug look on his face like he had been waiting a life time for this moment.

"Amy you and Simon need to come inside and talk with me" Emily finally stepped forward, my mom glared at her while my dad and Quil continued to square up to one another.

"We don't need to do shit, I'm here to get my daughter and then we are leaving. You people are disgusting, you have no idea what you could have done by keeping her here" My dad spoke, his voice was shaking in anger and he moved toward Quil. Quil was bigger than him, not much in height but size wise Quil was a beast. He had gotten bigger recently, like he was in the pictures of when I was younger. He was growing again, he looked younger too, less stressed.

"You have no idea what you did by keeping her away" Quil growled and pushed against my dad. Oh shit. They were going to fight.

"I kept her safe from you that's what I did" Dad pushed back, with more force this time but Quil didn't even flinch, I lost the anger from earlier and instead I felt a little desperate, I hated people fighting.

"You nearly killed her you ignorant bastard" Quil was shaking, not from anger he seemed like he would cry, my dad grabbed his throat and tried pushing him back but Quil threw a harsh punch to the side of my dad's head and they started scuffling, Jared still didn't move and my mom was shrieking the word monster as she watched them fight. It looked comical, my dad trying to fight someone the size of Quil and my mom being so hysterical, I would have laughed if I hadn't become full of concern that Quil would actually murder my father.

"Stop it, Quil stop" I ran forward and Quil gave my dad an almighty push that sent him to the floor. "Stop it, damn it what is wrong with you two" Quil looked at me scared he had upset me but I ignored him and sent my glares to my parents, my mom stopped her shrieking and made her way toward me but I shook off her touch.

"Claire, we are trying to protect you, you have to come home we have a treatment" I held my hand up to cut her off and she snapped her mouth shut.

"I'm not dying, look at me" She did, but only at my face, my eyes. She wasn't actually seeing me. "LOOK AT ME" I never shouted, she jumped startled and my dad got to his feet and walked over, giving me a stern look but I ignored him. They both looked me up and down and frowned, as if noticing I was different but not accepting it. "I am not dying, you taking me away almost killed me, coming back saved my life. You are not taking me away again" I spoke defiantly and they both stared at me confused.

"Don't be so stupid, Claire these people are" My dad started.

"Werewolves, I know dad. Quil imprinted on me, I know that too. He isn't a monster, or a creep he is the most amazing person on the planet and he would have done anything to protect me had you not taken me away" I stopped as tears fell down my face, I hadn't meant to cry but I couldn't stop. Quil appeared at my side and wrapped his hand in mine in support and my dad stared at us both in anger, or disgust, I couldn't figure out which it was.

"You were a baby" My mom whispered as if trying to get her head around it all.

"But I'm not anymore, I have a choice and I choose La Push, I choose to be here with Quil. I won't go with you. Do you not understand, when you took me you broke the bond, you made it worse. I got ill because I was away from him, he got ill too. Emily tried telling you that, I found the letter mom, you knew"

My mom frowned deeper, like she had no idea what I was on about but as she did that my dad tensed up, his body went rigid and he turned a pale colour rather than the red he had been. My mom hadn't known, he had.

"What letter? Simon?" My mom looked up at him, his face turned ashamed and he looked up at the house before back down to my mom.

"I was trying to protect her" He whispered, he looked ready to cry as he realised what I was saying was true. "She was my baby, I had to protect her"

I felt bad, my anger toward them had settled down, they had just tried to do the best for me. I turned to Emily for help and saw that she too had tears streaming down her face. She saw my look and nodded, wiping them away.

"I think we should take this indoors"

* * *

...

Six hours. That's how long we had talked for, I hadn't left Quil's side, it wasn't just the safe feeling I had stayed next to him for. It was the pure sensation of his body being so close to me, I was warm and fuzzy with him. Jared had gone and got Sam and after he got over the initial anger of my mom hitting Emily he had been able to sit down and talk about it calmly with my parents.

They took it better than I expected and the harsh words and glares stopped after an hour and they finally got their heads around the fact I was staying here. They got into a little argument over the letter, dad had hidden it from my mom and she gave him a telling off for it too. And after three hours I plucked up the courage to tell them how they had been neglecting Max, they hadn't taken that well but I convinced them that they had been and I managed to get them to agree to fly back for his football game.

They had left not ten minutes ago, having stayed the night and been watered and fed by Emily, they had cried and tried convincing me to come home but I refused, I wouldn't even if I could have, my dad made a comment about me being trapped here and Quil had at that point seemed to shut himself off, but I didn't feel trapped. I wanted to be here.

I peered out from my bedroom window, Quil was sat outside on the swing that had been put up for the kids, I was surprised it hadn't collapsed under his weight. I chucked my converse on and walked down the stairs and through the empty kitchen, Sam had taken Emily out, or maybe it was the other way around. Either way he had been getting worked up that Emily had been hurt and they had gone out to calm him down. I left the front door open as I made my way out toward the sad man swinging alone on the tree swing.

"If you kick your legs in and out and push with your arms you will go higher you know" I smiled as I approached him and tried joking but his sad expression didn't change. "What's up chuck?" I nudged his shoulder and smiled again, but again he didn't return it.

"Your dad" He said it simply like I should understand what he meant from that simple sentence, I had a guess, I figured it was something to do with the monster comments my dad had made.

"Quil, he can be a bit of a dick when he's angry, don't let him get to you"

He let out a massive sigh before standing up and nudging me toward the swing, I sat down and he stood behind me and started pushing me lightly so I was swinging back and forth.

"If you had a choice in all this I know you would go home Claire, and I'm sorry for taking that from you" He sounded so hurt, like all the stuff we had gone through had been pointless, he had gotten so much better with me, and now we were back to this. He continued to push lightly against my back and I swung at a soft motion on the swing. It was nice. But I focused on his words.

"I do have a choice Quil, and as I told my parents, I choose here. I choose this" I turned my head to look at him and he sighed again.

"Because you have to" He was blunt and it hurt me, he sounded off.

"Why do I have to?"

Once again he sighed and pushed me. "Because if you left you would get ill again, you stay here because you don't want to be in pain anymore. I'm your own personnel morphine"

I nearly choked on my own breath, that's what he thought I felt? Was he that stupid that he couldn't see how madly in love I was falling for him? Emily was right, this guy is clueless.

"I stay because of you, not because what you do Quil. I want to be here, I want you not a pain free life, that's a bonus I'll give you that but I like being here with you" His push on my back never came, instead his hands gripped the rope and stopped me, his body pressed against my back as he spoke into my ear.

"I want you to have a choice Claire" I think he was crying, his voice was cracking like he was and I could no longer sit there, however nice it was to have him so close to me I couldn't take it and I flew from the wooden seat and turned to him. He was crying, not fully, but he had tears in his eyes.

"I do have a choice Quil, I have chosen, what is so hard about that for you to understand? Do you not want me, is that what it is? Do you not feel the way about me that I feel for you, because you drive me crazy, I don't think I could be without you" And the tears fell again, I had done nothing but cry recently, I couldn't help it, he made me feel so vulnerable.

He just stared at me for a minute, his face creased in pain and confusion. "Claire, I do want you, I shouldn't, but I do. And I would love to believe you but I can't, why would you want to be with me? I caused you so much pain, I'm a monster. I have trapped you here, your dad said it loud and clear, you cannot leave here because of me."

What the hell was wrong with this guy? He had a screw loose or something.

"Because, because, eurgh what is your problem Quil, I'm here, I'm stood right in front of you practically telling you how madly in love I am with you and you still push me away. What else can I do? Shall I stay away; shall I prove my love for you by staying away? I would deal with all the pain in the world if it made you realise that I want YOU, not the pain free stuff, I want you Quil. Damn it. Damn it. Why are you making this so hard?" That was it, I had reached hysterical level, my body was shaking from the cries that let themselves out and tears drenched my cheeks and neck. He could be so stupid.

"You don't love me, you hardly know me, and maybe you like me but love? I'm not trying to upset you, I'm trying to make sure you have your own choice, I'm scared to lose you Claire, if I get you back I don't want to lose you again" He had tears running down his own cheeks now, his body shook but I wasn't sure if it was his wolf or him that was doing it.

"Stop it, stop trying to push me away as if you're doing a noble thing, you're not protecting me by pushing me away Quil your hurting me more. Don't tell me what I feel, don't you dare tell me I don't love you because I do, I am falling so deeply in love with you that it scares me but I know you're going to be there to catch me. At least I thought you would be. The only way you will lose me is if you keep pushing me away."

He said nothing, just stared at me as he continued to cry, I couldn't take it, he was clueless. I turned and walked around him heading back for the house but he turned with me.

"What can I do Claire? I don't know what to do"

He sounded broken, his voice broke and my heart exploded at the sound. I turned to look at him, I felt empty again, he took everything from me. Fighting his pushing was hard.

"Fight for me. You put so much effort in to pushing me away and keeping me at arm's length when all you have to do is hold me close. I am not going anywhere but I can't wait around forever, fighting and hoping for someone who will never fight for me" Now I just felt pathetic. Did he actually even want me or was I desperate for him to? Maybe it was just friends for him.

Again he said nothing so again I turned and began making my way to the steps but as quickly as I had begun to walk he spoke up.

"Claire" I stopped, waiting for whatever he was going to say that I was sure would hurt me even more. I felt his hands wrap around my waist and I was twisted around to face him. His hand clutched my hips tightly as he stared down at me, his breath tickled my face and before I could say anything he leant toward me, his lips grazed mine for a split second but that second was enough to send my whole body weak, his grip the only thing holding me up. I felt myself go hot with the blush that crept through me and before I registered it properly he had leant down and pressed a firmer kiss on my mouth, his soft lips covered mine perfectly and sent a wave of sparks into my body, the earlier hysterical cries were gone and I felt elated. But too soon he pulled away, his blazing eyes staring down at me again as his heavy breath gushed my face. "I'm falling in love with you Claire, I'm falling so damn hard"

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**Sorry, I know you all hate when I leave it like this but it is so hard to find a point to end it on that doesn't come out as a cliffy, if I had carried on it would have gone on for ages and long chapters get boring and well, I don't mean to cliffy like every chapter, so I am sorry. Forgive me :D **

**Review my lovelies, and I promise I won't take ages for my next update. **

**Also, thank you to the guest who is giving me ideas for my next story, I am taking them into account :D Any other readers, if you have any requests on oc/wolf stories or SM character stories, feel free to ask me and I will see what I come up with and whether I think I could write it, the only people I won't do is vampires, or bella /Edward because, I am a pack girl sorry :D **

**xxxxxx**


	26. Chapter 26

**This chapter is more about tying some stuff up with the doctor side of Claire's stuff and getting a move on with the Claire/Quil stuff :D I like playing around with love lives its fun. **

**I do not own Twilight**

**Enjoy!**

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It's been two days since he kissed me, two blissful days where my body has been in an array of tingles from just the memory of his lips on mine and the soft whispers of his words. He loved me, or at least, he was falling in love with me. I felt like I had gotten a lifetime of Christmases at once, like my dreams had come true in ways I could have never imagined them coming true in.

He hadn't kissed me since, I suspected it was due to the over bearing nature Sam had taken on, he hadn't left the house since him and Emily had walked into the yard to see Quil and I crying and kissing, well actually it was me crying and Quil placing soft quick kisses on my lips and face. Sam had taken to sitting with us even while we did simple things such as watch cartoons. Emily was getting annoyed at him and once or twice I saw her swatting his head as she tried dragging him away. I was longing for the touch of Quil's soft lips again but he was staying away from touching me, not in a way that made me think he regretted it, but in a way like he was unsure of what to do next.

"Claire, I'm ready for you" The kind female voice brought me back from my thoughts, my eyes blinking rapidly against the bright waiting room lights of Fork's hospital and I turn to look up at the blonde doctor whose name I can't remember. She smiles reassuringly at me before turning to walk to her office, I grab my bag and follow her, my legs taking me faster than they used to. I hadn't been in pain at all since the kiss, it was like everything clicked within me and the emptiness that filled my heart erased, the pain was never there, not even when Quil left for patrols. I was me again. I was normal.

I sat myself down in the chair opposite her big wooden desk, my notes were sprawled across it and she clicked away at her screen, not acknowledging me as she flicked through onscreen pages. I sat patiently, knowing she was probably scanning through my lab reports, I had been here for two hours now, having blood tests and scans done. I hadn't told the guys or even Emily that I was coming, I had booked the appointment myself. Even though I knew that the results would probably be good, I still felt nervous. I was a little sceptic still about the whole imprint being able to fix me completely, nothing was that strong surely.

"Well I'll be damned" Blondie chirped and I glanced at her, her eyes sparkled as her mouth lifted into a grin, her body immediately lifted as if she was bouncing with excitement and I leant forward in my chair to try look at her screen. "You really are something else Claire, one in a million" Her hands clapped together and she let out a squeal.

"What? What is it?" I couldn't hide the shake in my voice, the niggling nerves that were trying to twist me to believe it was fake happiness she was showing. Her sparkling eyes locked on mine and she pursed her lips together before literally jumping in her seat.

"You're clear, you are 100% clear of everything, and your bloods are perfect, more than perfect. You scans are clear, everything is..well...amazing" For a second I thought she was crying, but she let out another squeal and I realised she was laughing, the tears in her eyes were from laughter.

I couldn't say anything; my body went into shock as I watched her lips move as she explained it all to me. Her words didn't reach me. I was in my own little world. Quil was right? About it all, I was fixed, he fixed me? I thought he would stop the pain, I never believed he would cure me completely.

"Claire, you're going to live" The doctor was stood beside me now, her hands gripping my shoulders as she spoke to me, my body felt like it was crashing with happiness. I was fine. I was ok, I was alive, and everything was fine. Everything was going to be fine.

...

* * *

**Quil's point of view**

Maybe I shouldn't have kissed her, maybe it was too soon but the feeling of her lips on mine was a whole different sensation. It was like the contact between us was sparking through us, fixing everything that had been broken, fixing all the hurt, the pain and the emptiness with that simple kiss.

Sam hadn't liked it, he had said it was too soon, that she was being rushed but the guys knew he was only being over protective because she was his niece, I would never make her do anything she didn't want to do and if she asked me not to kiss her again I wouldn't. But I had to show her how I felt, I was hurting her by not telling her, she told me everything and no simple I love you felt enough to say back to her. I hadn't done it again, I was waiting until I could take her out properly, give her the dates she deserved, spoil her with flowers and make her giggle. I wanted to do it properly from now on. No more lies, no more tears, she was mine and I was going to reach out and take her.

I ran out into Sam's yard, I had dressed up more than usual, a pair of dark jeans and a blue checked shirt, I wanted to surprise her and take her out. Emily was supposed to be getting her ready for me but as I made my way to the front door I heard sniffling like someone was crying. I pushed it open and my heart sank, she was sprawled out on the kitchen table crying as Embry patted her back awkwardly like he was trying to comfort her. He glanced over at me and relief flooded his features.

"Thank god for that" He mumbled and motioned for me to come over, I didn't need to be told I ran to her and sunk to my knees in front of her.

"What happened?" I asked Embry but he shrugged.

"I came over for dinner and got greeted with this, she won't say anything dude" He backed off, Embry hated when girls cried, he would date them, then as soon as they showed an utter of emotion he would be gone like a flash. The guy had commitment issues mixed with emotional issues. I ignored him and turned back to Claire, my hand slipped onto her thigh as I tried pulling her to face me and the feelings my contact with her leg sprang was a new one, I wanted to grab her and hold her close to me, the denim that covered her skin felt like it was melting away beneath the fire that ran through us. She turned but didn't look at me, instead her head fell onto my shoulder and she cried more.

"Hey Claire what's wrong? You can tell me?" I cooed as I tried moving her long hair from her face but every time I moved it it just fell back down. She nodded and tried to speak but she cried harder and her words were lost.

"Calm down, just breathe" My hand travelled up and cupper her chin, pushing her to look at me and after a few attempts she did. Tears were running from her eyes but she didn't look upset, she looked strangely happy.

"Q-q-uil" She stuttered and I lifted a finger to wipe her tears away.

"Yes bear?" I hadn't called her this, not since she was a baby, as if slipped out her breath caught and she hiccupped. She was adorable even when she cried. Embry was stood behind her, his brows knitted in confusion and I noticed the door behind me open and close and the scents of Sam and Emily came in. Well, this didn't look good, twice in one week them catching me with a crying Claire.

"You weren't lying" She mumbled, her tears were slowing down but she continued to hiccup over her breaths.

"About what?" I glanced behind me at Sam and Emily, they both were watching us in confusion, the kids in a little group at their feet.

"The imprint" Claire went on and I looked back at her, why would she think I was lying?

"Of course not Claire, I wouldn't lie to you"

She shook her head and buried it back on my shoulder, her nose and lips were pressing against my neck and I couldn't hold the shiver that ran through me as her lips moved against my skin.

"You said I wouldn't die, the pain went, so I went to my doctor to check and she did tests and I cured. You cured me Quil. I won't die because of you, and you said I would see you as just pain killer but I don't, I see you as my reason for living because you saved me" She was rambling on and on, her hot breath on my neck made it hard for me to concentrate on her words but I tried. She went to her doctor? I had no idea she had gone anywhere today, she couldn't drive so how had she got there? Reason for living. I liked that better than the pain killer thing, I liked hearing her say it, I liked thinking the same way about her. She was the only reason I was here, without her I would be nothing.

"Claire, honey" Emily started and she sunk down beside me, her hand resting on Claires leg. "Are you ok?"

"I'm more than ok, I'm amazing, I feel amazing" She mumbled more but this time her body fell forward so she was sat on my lap, more like straddling my lap and I hadn't even had time to register the feeling it gave me before Sam was growling behind me.

"Sam stop it" Emily snapped and the growls stopped. It wasn't even a feeling like Sam was growling at, it was more ecstatic happiness, she wanted to be close to me just as much as I wanted her closer to me.

"Quil" Embry barked and I glanced up at him to see him making head movements from me to the door behind me and for some reason what he was trying to say actually made sense, he was telling me to take her out.

I heaved myself up, Claire's legs dropped from my sides and I steadied her on her feet but her head still rested against my chest. There was no way she would walk so I put one arm behind her knees and the other behind her back and lifted her bridal style, she hiccupped again in surprise and I made my way to the front door, getting evil glares from Sam while Emily smiled wide at me. Sam had a serious issue, not long ago he was telling me to go for it and now I was he was glaring at me.

I carried her to my truck and placed her in before climbing in the driver's side, she kept her head bowed as I pulled away and set us out onto the main road. She made no movement and I had to chuckle, she looked like she was having a tantrum.

"Are you going to look at me?" I asked, she shook her head. "Why not?"

"I'm an ugly crier" She stated and her hands started rubbing at her cheeks. She had stopped crying but was still sniffling.

"You could never be ugly Claire, look up at me, we can't go the whole date not looking at one another, I think that defeats the object of a date" I had a new found confidence with her, making me sound cockier when really I was just trying to lighten the air. She stopped sniffling and tilted her head so she was looking at me through her hanging down hair.

"You never asked me to go on a date" Again it was a statement, she sounded cute, her voice was a little off from the crying.

"Well I was going to surprise you, but if you want me to ask I will. Claire, will you go on a date with me tonight?" I grinned as I looked ahead of the road and I heard her let up a little giggle.

"Well, you seem to have kidnapped me so I don't really have a choice do I?" Her voice was light and playful but her choice of words pelted my heart to a stop.

"You always have a choice Claire" My voice was strained, I wanted her to know she could say no if she wanted and I glanced over at her to see she had lifted her head to look at me.

"I know, and my choice is yes, I will go on a date with you" She smiled, her cheeks were red from her crying but remarkably her mascara hadn't run much. She saw me looking and span to look in the mirror of her sun visor, rubbing at her eyes that were smudged. "Eurgh, don't take me anywhere nice, I am a mess" She groaned and I rolled my eyes.

"A beautiful mess"

She stopped and looked across at me as the words slipped through my lips, her smile grew wider and she moved closer to me.

"I like that, a beautiful mess, it describes us well I think, because we were both messes before, and your beautiful" She stopped at that, it didn't sound complete so I finished it for her.

"And you're even more beautiful"

She rolled her eyes at me but was still smiling. "You have to say that, I'm your imprint"

"I don't have to say anything, I would think you were the most beautiful girl in the world even if you weren't my imprint" I told her truthfully, because truthfully she was stunningly pretty, everything about her was amazing.

"If you hadn't imprinted on me, I would have just been another annoying two year old kid to you, you would have married someone else" She turned sad, her words hurt because I know it was true, if I hadn't been a wolf, then I wouldn't have found her because she would have been so young. We both fell into silence, I didn't know what to say, the thought of not knowing her was too painful and I couldn't express to her how glad I was that I found her. I drove out toward Port Angeles and as we made our way through Forks she finally spoke.

"Sorry I freaked out back there, I'm not sure why I cried like that" I glanced down at her, her redness had faded and she grinned at me sheepishly. "I think I just got so happy that it was all true that I became hysterical, it wasn't sad tears, I was happy crying. Embry just made it worse because he stood awkwardly tapping me for like half hour so not calming me down" She giggled this time and I had to chuckle at the image I had found of Embry rubbing her shoulder awkwardly. The guy was a looser.

"Why did you go to the doctors? Did you think I was lying or something?"

"I guess I wanted confirmation on paper you know, I got a cab over to Forks, Sam's gonna flip, I had no money so I used his, the idiot left his wallet on the side. I mean I'll pay him back obviously. But yeah, I just needed to know for sure. I'm glad I did, I feel so happy, like nothing can ruin this" Her smile was back, her real one that made her eyes sparkle. I chuckled at the thing about Sam's wallet, he always left it around, it had become habit of the guys to nick money from him when he sent them out for lunch or whatever because he never kept track on it.

"Nothing can ruin this" I told her truthfully, because I wouldn't let it.

"Unless you become a stubborn ass again Mr Ateara" She scolded me and I flinched, I was a stubborn ass. I had been the one ruining it before, but now everything was out in the open it was ok. Everything was going to be ok. I pulled into a car park as we hit Port Angeles and we both hopped out.

"So where are you taking me?"

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

He grinned at me as he walked around to my side, I was longing for him to take my hand but he didn't he just fell into a walk beside me, guiding me down toward the street of lights that signalled restaurants. I felt like I looked shit, because I had cried, I was embarrassed because I cried, I was over reacting and cried. But Quil said nothing about it, just comforted me. We had come a long way since I first met him, he used to hate being around me and now he seemed to crave it. He never spent longer than a few hours away, not that I was complaining, I craved him just as much.

I looked over at him, taking in his appearance, he had dressed up. He had a shirt on, I liked him in a shirt, he looked sexy, he had stubble like he hadn't shaved for a couple days, it made him look rugged and I had to say I was enjoying the bitchy looks I was getting from passing girls. He was mine; this big sexy, beautiful man was mine. Well, he wasn't technically mine, we weren't going out but I suppose a kiss and a date is a step in the right direction.

"Oh look, how convenient" Quil's voice sung out as we made our way through the restaurant crowded street. He stopped and was looking up at a sign, a twinkle in his eye. I followed his gaze and a movie theatre sign came into focus, The Conjuring, no freaking way.

"Not happening" I stated and looked up at the grin on Quil's face. He had known this was on, its his evil plan.

"What? So you can handle being close to a scary werewolf but not a ickle scawy movie? Aww poor baby" He cooed at me and I giggled at his bad baby voice.

"I don't do scary films, let's go for food?" I offered, food normally distracted these guys.

"I'm joking, I knew you wouldn't be brave enough to see it anyway" He teased and began to walk off again, but a defensive buzzed washed over me and before thinking about what I was saying I let slip.

"Wanna bet? Fine, lets watch it, but you're buying me popcorn" At least I added the popcorn deal in there right?

What the hell was I thinking? What the hell was my problem? My whole body was quivering; my hands covered my eyes as the creepy music started playing on the screen for like the tenth time during this stupid movie. I gave up on the popcorn, I couldn't eat it because every time I did something freaky happened and it popped back out of my mouth along with a squeal. Why I had to get so defensive and prove him wrong I had no idea. I would have been much happier being a wimp and sitting in a nice restaurant eating a pizza.

"Claire"

"AHH" I jumped as the rough voice broke over the scary music, right into my ear. I fell from my chair onto the hard floor of the movie theatre. My eyes flew around to see a chuckling Quil leaning over me, his eyes twinkling with cheekiness. Idiot.

"Don't do that" I smacked at him and he laughed harder, the scary music had erupted into on screen screaming now and as Quil laughed and I smacked him a couple sat behind us tutted and loudly whispered 'sshh'.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to bail, your hearts going a little crazy over there" He whispered earning us a chair kick from the nerdy guy behind us. I nodded as the scary music started again and leapt from my chair faster than I had ever moved, I was halfway out of the movie before Quil had even got up from his seat.

I ran out into the foyer and the sound of Quil's chuckling followed me. I span to stare at him, his beautiful face was chuckling as he watched me. He looked so much younger than he had before, like he was back in those pictures where he was young and carefree. I liked this Quil better.

"Your face, oh god, I think I burst a vein laughing at you" He chuckled more and wiped tears from his eyes as he reached me. Idiot, stupid handsome idiot.

"Not funny" I groaned and went to walk away but his hand reached out and slipped into mine, stopping me mid turn.

"Hey you're the one who said to go, I would have happily taken you for food" He smiled as his hand gripped mine tighter and he pulled me to his side.

"Hmm, I'm telling Uncle Sam that you did that" I teased and his smile faded, he actually looked scared. "HA that shut you up, now who's the scaredy cat?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he rolled his eyes at me.

"With good reason, Sam looks like he wants to rip my head off" He pulled me back out onto the street and began walking toward the car park, I frowned at him, he sounded like he knew why.

"Is there a reason?"

He nodded, then shrugged, then looked down at me and bit his bottom lip. "He thinks I'm going too fast with you, like I should give you more time to get your head around it all. I suppose he has a point, I probably shouldn't have kissed you like that, I don't want to rush you"

My mouth popped open, rushed? I didn't feel rushed? I loved this, I loved being able to go out with Quil and know that he likes me.

"I don't regret you kissing me Quil, and I don't feel rushed, this feels perfect right now" My words were a whisper and he smiled as I said them, the worry that was flashing in his eyes disappeared and his twinkle returned.

...

* * *

The house was silent when we made it back, it was 10.30, Sam was on patrol while Emily had gone to bed so I crept up the stairs and Quil followed. He waited outside the room while I chucked my shorts and top on and climbed into the little bed, he walked in and bent down next to me, smiling against the dark room.

"You have a good night bear?" He whispered and my heart fluttered, bear, it was such a childish name but it got me going every time he said it.

"The best" I grinned up at him, even with the awful movie I had enjoyed every second of tonight because I had been with Quil.

"Do I get a second date with you?" He asked, his voice was playful and his eyes sparkled against the dark. My stomach flipped and I couldn't hold back the smile that covered my face.

"And a third, fourth, maybe a fifth if you're lucky Q-W-uil" I teased back, making sure I over pronounced the W sound as I said his name, he chuckled at me and ran his hand across my hair.

"Goodnight Claire" He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, everything in me screamed for his lips to come to mine but they didn't. They stayed on my head before he sighed and got up, walking to the door. My buzz faded, I wanted him to kiss me again.

"Quil"

"Mmm" He turned back to look at me and I clutched at my courage to ask.

"Do you regret kissing me?" My voice was soft but it was worried, even I could hear the underlying shake that lay there. He hadn't replied to me earlier when I told him I hadn't regretted it and he had made no movement to kiss me, just held my hand and kissed my head once.

"No, I could never regret kissing you. But if I start, I don't think I could stop and I wouldn't want Sam to come in and find me kissing you in bed, he really would kill me then" There was a chuckle in his voice but he was telling the truth, he was scared of Sam. What a wimp.

"Goodnight Quil" I sung out before rolling over and cuddling into the jumper I had stolen from him all those weeks ago, I still hadn't given it back, I cuddled it every night.

"Goodnight beautiful"

I listened as he left my room and ran outside, his truck didn't start up again so I knew he had phased. There was a smile on my face that was usually absent, but I couldn't stop it tonight, I was falling even deeper, every moment I spent with him made me love him even more. Even as he taunted me in the movies I loved it, the twinkle in his eyes that hadn't been there until two days ago. He said Sam thought he was rushing me but he wasn't, I felt like I had waited for so long for this that it could never be rushed. If we got married tomorrow it wouldn't be soon enough.

Marriage, hmm, I could marry Quil. I could spend my whole life with him and know I would be the happiest girl alive, and I would be alive, because I had a reason to be.

* * *

**Hey hey :D **

**Thank you for allowing me the time off this weekend and not hating me for it hehe, I am back and relaxed and ready to write again. **

**So their first date, I like writing about them being happy and playful with one another, it's a nice difference. Did ya like the beautiful mess comment from Quil? Hehehe I couldn't stop myself, it was too perfect! **

**This chapter feels empty because theres no drama but it's still nice I think. Anyway, leave some reviews guys come on :D xxx**


	27. Chapter 27

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

"CLAIRE GET OUT HERE A SEC" Sam's voice boomed up the stairs, the loudness of his voice surprised me at times, he was like a constant megaphone.

I stood from my place on the floor where I was playing Barbie's with Suzie and Samantha; they both looked up at me with big smiles like they knew something I didn't. I just ignored it and walked down to the kitchen, which was strangely empty, the front door was open though so I walked outside and was hit with the blinding light of sunshine that rarely made an appearance here.

"Claire" Sam shouted again and I looked up to see most of the guys stood around in a huddle as if hiding something. When I say most of the guys, I mean all of them. Paul, Jared and Sam were at the front of the huddle while Quil stood next to Embry, and the others were crowded around them. They were all grinning at me like idiots and I couldn't help but laugh the expressions on their big goofy faces.

"What are you all doing?" I asked, from their positions it looked for a second that they were going to break out in synchronised dancing or something.

"Well, we have a present for you, sort of a late welcome home and a congratulations on the all clear from the doc" Paul spoke up, winking at me as he said it. A present? I liked the sound of this.

"Now it's not amazing, but we've done some work on it and it's pretty decent" Embry offered this time and Quil grinned wider at me as I locked my eyes on his. He was too good looking for his own good, he really was driving me insane with how cute his smile was.

"I'll teach you" He added in and I frowned again, teach me what?

"What the hell are you on about?" I finally caved at the confusion and they all let up a round of husky chuckles before Sam moved from his front placement and the others followed, I gasped as I saw what was behind them. The old Beetle they had been fixing up in the garage, ahh they got me a car.

"You got me a car?" I squealed as they all nodded at me and I ran forward to look at it, it was old but they had done paint work on it and it was now shiny red, the inside was spotless and could easily pass as being new interior seats. I jumped around as I looked inside, I had never been allowed a car, my parents thought I was too vulnerable.

"Do you like it?" Quil asked, joining me as I looked inside.

"I love it" I squealed again and threw my arms around his neck in a tight hug and he placed a kiss on my cheek, he had been kissing my cheek a lot lately and although it still felt warm and tingley, I was dying for his lips on mine again. "Thank you thank you thank you" I jumped from him and ran to Sam hugging him first before moving on to everyone else, Embry of course ruffled my hair before pinching my cheeks and I swatted his hands away.

"I'll take you for a drive if you like?" Quil offered and I didn't give him a chance to respond I just launched myself in the passenger side earning a new round of chuckles from the guys. Who the hell gets a car for no reason, from a bunch of guys who aren't even technically related to them? I mean Jesus Christ I was like the luckiest person alive right now.

Quil hopped in and turned the car on, reversing out of the yard I gave everyone a quick excited wave before they were out of view and I just sat staring at my pretty new car, it was so cute, they even had a little heart air freshener hanging from the little mirror thing. Maybe I should ask what that is, I mean I had never even sat behind a steering wheel so I had no clue on how to drive.

"You like it?" Quil asked again and I nodded at him, it was amazing.

"I won't have a clue how to drive it though, I mean the most I have done is go on one of those driving machines at an arcade"

He laughed at me before speeding up down the road, I glanced into the back seat, and there was a blanket rolled up and a little basket, like a picnic basket. My heart did a little skit at the sight, was he taking me somewhere? Turning back to the road ahead I noticed Quil looking across at me, a smirk on his face as he watched me staring at the back seat.

"What are you smirking at?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head chuckling as he turned back to the road.

"You" He replied simply and again my heart skipped, this time my stomach joined in making me feel giddy and happy. Me, he was smiling about me.

"Why what did I do now?"

"Nothing, it's just that I can see your dying to ask what is in the back but you still don't, just because I don't know your too polite or whatever" He chuckled more and I couldn't help but notice the way his soft curls bounced around his head as he did. Or the way his cheeks flushed pink and his eyes watered making them sparkle more. He was beautiful, and the sight of him brought a new smile to my face, I couldn't help but smile with him. I don't think I could ever be angry at him.

"Well what is it?" I ask lightly, he was right, I was dying to know and I didn't want to ask because it would make me seem nosey.

"A surprise" He answered simply and the playful tone to his voice let me know he was teasing me. I scowled at him when he glanced across at me but the flash in his eyes made me automatically drop the scowl, I couldn't even pretend to be annoyed with him. He was going to kill me one day, I had never been so happy and carefree before, it was strange. Nice but strange.

"Another one, boy am I being spoiled today" I sung as I turned to look out of the window, I didn't recognise where we were, I think we were heading the opposite direction of Forks. But why I had no idea, as far as I knew the only place down this way was the Makah reservation. But why he would be taking me there was beyond me. I didn't ask again, I just flicked the radio on and hummed along with the songs that played.

...

* * *

"We're here Claire" A soft whisper sung into my ear and I was being shaken awake. I blinked a few times, my eyes blurry from the sleep I had obviously fallen into. Quil was bent over my slouched body, undoing my seat belt as I stirred uncomfortably. I was in an awkward position and my body was protesting against waking up. Quil's hands came around my hands lightly and I instantly perked up at the touch, the fire bringing me from my sleepiness and I crawled out of the car and leant into Quil's body for support as my legs tried catching up with the fact I was awake and stood up.

I looked up as Quil steadied me on my own; there was a big white house in front of me. Not big big, but bigger than the ones in La Push. We were on a housed road, a few placed along the road side, they were all similar, nothing special but pretty enough. I recognised it, not like really recognised it, but like I had seen this place in a dream.

"Where are we?" My voice was croaky with sleep and I coughed trying to strengthen it. Quil flashed a small smile as he took my hand in his again, the safe blanket he offered me covered me and I felt warm and secure.

"Your grandparent's house" He whispered, he was almost unsure of himself and he dropped eye contact like he was nervous that I was about to flip out. But I didn't, my heart thudded harder and I had to gulp down the breath that caught in my throat. It had never occurred to me that my grandparents might be alive, or living nearby. I had never thought I had grandparents. I mean, I knew my dad's died when he was younger but I had never heard my mom speak about hers.

"Sorry, I just thought you might want to meet your family again, Emily is inside already. We can leave if you don't want to, I just figured it would be nice for you to have more family around since your parents are gone and Max isn't here and the guys aren't really family" He was rambling, his voice shook and I could tell he was scared he had done something wrong. He hadn't, this was brilliant. I leant up and placed a quick kiss on his cheek, it worked, his mouth snapped shut and he blushed slightly.

"This is perfect Quil. Thank you" I whispered as I stood on my toes, close enough to his face that I could place another quick kiss but as I puckered up to place one he swung his head around to face me and he barely got one word out before my lips went crashing down onto the corner of his mouth. Well, that was unexpected, and not what was supposed to happen. He shut up again and haltered for a second as I kept frozen my lips on his before I realised that this was kind of awkward and pulled back, he was a deep red and I knew I was matching him. How embarrassing.

"I umm I sorry I turned my head, sorry, I was just going to say shall we go in?" He mumbled, his eyes were wide and for a second I thought he was going to go into shock. I mean, we had kissed on the lips before, but that was when he was desperate for me to know he didn't hate me, since then he had only kissed my cheek and that had caused enough blushing so this was pushing on a whole new level. All I could do was nod because I know if I spoke aloud my voice would be nothing more than a squeak.

His hand was clenched on mine, his heat was becoming a little uncomfortable but I kept mine in his, knowing if I pulled out he would think he had upset me and then that would cause a whole new drama with him that I just did not want to get back into. We walked slowly to the door, each step was like a wave of recognition but nothing hit me like it did when I met the guys, no memories stirred but I definitely knew this place. Quil knocked lightly and I found myself digging myself into his side, trying to hide as nerves finally made an appearance. I was about to meet my grandparents. These was just weird. They might hate me, I mean old people don't like tattoo's and I have two. Crap, I should have worn a long sleeve top. For some reason I started rubbing my free right hand against my jeans, like I was trying to scrub my tattoo off and Quil seemed to notice because he looped his arm around to grab mine, holding it in place before turning his head to offer me a small kiss on the top of my forehead. It worked, a wave of calm washed over me and I glanced up at him, smiling as I looked at his still blushed face that I had caused.

The door swung open and I jumped out of my Quil trance to look at the doorway, Emily was stood there, smiling in her usual face splitting way that shone from her slim body. "Claire, you guys are late" She reached out to hug me before sending Quil a silent scolding.

"She fell asleep, I didn't want to wake her so I drove around for a bit" I don't think he meant to say it out loud because as he did he blushed a new deep shade of red and shut his eyes as if cursing himself. I on the other hand, loved it. He was so sweet. Emily giggled and whispered something about someone being whipped and who knew wolves could be such pansy's.

"Emily, is that them?" A voice called out from inside the house and my stomach clenched with nerves again. Emily glanced back behind her, smiling as she nodded and she held a hand out for me to take. I gave Quil a quick glance before taking it and he smiled reassuringly, I had become dependent on him, not in a way that I had lost independence but in a way that meant I felt I needed him around to feel safe, and the smile he was giving me was offering that.

I took Emily's small hand and she pulled me through the door, gripping me nearly as tightly as Quil had. Quil followed me in but stayed a little way back, offering me space to meet my family but in reality I wanted him next to me. I said nothing though, just walked with Emily as she led me down the long corridor. There were pictures all over the walls; I recognised them as me and Max, not just as babies or toddlers, but as older children right up until my 18th birthday. Weird. My mom must have carried on sending stuff home, but then, surely they would have known where I was?

"Amy sent them pictures and that was it, no letters or return address. They are excited to see you" Emily whispered as she saw me frowning at the pictures, I nodded, I guess that made sense. Kind of.

Emily stopped as we reached an open door, the room on the other side was a light beige, very home like, warm and welcoming, my eyes stopped scanning as I reached two people. They weren't old like I had first imagined, I mean they were older, but not old, they could probably be in their early 60's. Both of them were tanned, darker than Quil and the guys from La Push but still a beautiful copper colour. The man as tall, again not like Quil but tall and fairly podgy, he had an old man's swollen belly, the type they got after years of drinking too much beer after work, his face was kind, wrinkled and cute, his eyes were watery as he smiled at me and I smiled back before moving to the woman, she was small like mom and Emily, long grey hair fell around her shoulders and her slightly wrinkled face beamed at me as I stared at her, she was just an older Emily without the scars. Their faces were so comforting and familiar, I knew them, I couldn't remember them but I knew them. I had once loved them, I could feel it in my heart. They were my family.

"Oh Claire" The woman cried and Emily let go of my hand, before I knew it I was engulfed in hugs and kisses from the two old people, happy tears streamed down both Emily and the woman's faces. Quil was stood in the doorway smiling as he watches us, for a second it looked like he would cry but he shook himself and turned, walking into the room that lay opposite the lounge. Leaving me to have time with the family I lost all those years ago.

...

* * *

"Wow" I breathed out as I strapped myself back into the car, Quil just smiled as he started the car and turned back onto the road. I had been in there for three hours, just talking, and it was so natural and normal. Their names were Meghan and Howie, they had showed me old videos and pictures from when I was a kid, explained that mom sent the pictures but there was never any trace back to her or San Francisco which I found strange because the postal stamps should have gave something away but I didn't linger on it too much, it would only stir fresh anger and I didn't want any more fights. They were lovely, just like Emily but older versions, really welcoming and naturally friendly.

"I'm glad you liked it, I thought it would do you some good to get to know them. They spent years missing you too so it only seems right I share you." Quil was grinning as he drove back toward La Push, my stomach flipped as he said share me. The word share implied that he thought me as his, at least that's how it felt to me. I said nothing back, just tried to hide the blushing smile that crept on my face. He was too sweet, I know imprint meant he couldn't bare to hurt me and that he would always try to ensure I was happy, but he took it to whole new levels. I loved the way he was, I loved that he made me feel like I was the most important person in his life.

I stared at the passing trees as he drove me back down the dull road, it was 4pm, early evening and the sky was growing darker as he sped back home. I don't like being in cars without music so I leant over and flicked the radio on, earning a groan from Quil.

"What?" I asked as I turned up the song, Taylor Swift We are never getting back together, what was his problem? I mean, yes it's a girly song but it wasn't THAT bad. It was catchy. He shook his head so I took my opportunity to turn it up louder and sing along with it, adding a little bit of dramatics to it as I went, it made him smile but he still didn't look impressed.

I carried on singing dramatically as the songs rolled by, we had gone through Rihanna, Kesha, Little Mix and eventually, Britney Spears, I was singing happily along to Scream and Shout when he flicked it off. "Ok enough, you are killing me here" He groaned, no smile this time and he rolled his head around to shoot me an exasperated look.

"Hey my singing is not that bad" I complained, flicking the radio back on and continuing my body shaking side to side to the music.

"No, just your choice of music" He replied again reaching forward he flicked the radio back off. Oh so he was playing this game now.

"There is nothing wrong with my music choice, it's just what I hear on the radio not my fault you obviously have an issue with female singers" I poked my tongue out as I again flicked the radio back on, the song had changed to LMFAO Sorry for party rocking, hell yes, I loved this song. I started hand dancing and Quil groaned again.

"Ok, male singers and still crap" He leant over to flick it back off but I beat him to it and slapped his hand away. Which he replied with a loud groan like the world was ending. "Eurgh please you're like torturing me here...man I spent so long trying to teach you good music when you were a kid" He groaned again and I smiled, good music?

"What defines good music?" I asked and he perked up in his seat.

"When you were a kid I had you rocking out on air guitar, you were the coolest kid on the rez. Now look what's happened" He pointed at the radio and raised his eyebrows at me, the idea of me rocking air guitar as a toddler was adorable so I had to grin at him.

"Ok so what do you class as good music Quil? You can teach me again"

He chuckled as I tried doing an air guitar movement, I realised I was failing so stopped and he just smiled more. "Well, I don't know. Not pop shit that's for sure. Embry and I used to play loads of stuff like the Sex Pistols around you and you would start jumping around like crazy, you even used to know the words I mean we totally had you rocked up as the coolest kid on rez, you would roll up to day care head banging like crazy, that was mainly Sam's fault he was a huge like Iron Maiden fan and would blast out heavy shit when he dropped you off."

I was giggling by this point, a head banging toddler, that was too much. I never figured Sam as a heavy metal fan though.

"Damn, Embry is gonna be pissed when I tell him you turned into a little pop princess, he spent so long trying to explain the importance of good music. You tried singing that Barbie girl song one day and he literally suffocated you to stop you, you were turning slightly blue by the time we got him off you. I mean it worked, after that you never sung a pop song around him again, I think it was more due to being too frightened than understanding his long ass rant about the devil that was pop"

And he had me laughing again, this time I was full on cackling though. I loved it when he told me stuff like this, I mean it should be creepy, the guy I was crushing on or "dating" telling me stories about my childhood but I liked it.

I settled back into my seat, smiling like a giddy little girl as I watched Quil chuckle at his memories, he was so happy now and so different from when I first met him. Before I had a chance to respond I was being nudged to the side as he took a turning, one that I couldn't remember him supposed to be taking.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he sped down the little road I hadn't seen us going down earlier.

"It's a surprise" He was smirking now, slyly smirking like he was the smartest guy alive.

"But you already surprised me?" He took me to the Makah Rez, that was my surprise wasn't it?

"That would be a little weird if I took you on a surprise date to your grandparents house Claire; I'm taking you on a real surprise"

I didn't even register any other words than date. This was a date, I liked dates with Quil. Dates with Quil were fun. Eeeeek date. Just that little word made me lose it and I was blushing again. I stayed silent, smiling to myself through the window as he turned into another tiny little road and stopped. I could make out the thinning trees in the distance but I had no idea where we were. Quil got out, taking the blanket and picnic basket with him before he ran to my side and opened the door, offering me his hand as I climbed out. I clocked the basket in his hand and smiled, awww he had planned this from this morning. I was officially the luckiest girl in the world.

"Come on smiler" Quil pulled on my arm as we made our way through the thin tree line, I gasped as I took in where we were, I could see the beach in the distance. We were on the cliffs. It was beautiful up here; the view was amazing I could see right out into the ocean.

"Quil this is beautiful" I sighed as he lay out the blanket; he said nothing back just nodded. I loved La Push; it was the most naturally pretty place I had ever been. I sat down on the blanket as Quil started laying out food; there was cookies and drinks, sandwiches, chips, muffins, strawberries. Everything I could ever want to stuff my face on was right in front of me.

"You like it?" He asked, he had been asking this a lot today like he was desperate for my approval. I nodded my head excitedly and he smiled like he had accomplished something by making me happy.

...

* * *

It was pitch dark out now, Quil had started the tiniest fire next to us to keep the area lit up. We had been here for nearly 5 hours, and all the food was gone. Obviously Quil had eaten most of it but I gave it a good go too. It was so easy to be around Quil, I was completely comfortable and I felt like there was no room for awkwardness. He told me more stories of my childhood, mostly how Embry and Paul both nearly killed me on several occasions and were swiftly banned from being within 100 yards of me without supervision.

My favourite story was when Sam let Embry take me to the beach to wait for Quil to finish patrol and had let me go "swimming" fully clothed, as in jeans and coat and shoes, and then proceeded to leave me in the water at the age of 2 and a half while he went to chat up girls, it was lucky he was chatting up girls because it was one of them who realised I was practically drowning under the weight of my jeans and luckily Embry got me out right before I went under. It seemed typical of Embry to be that stupid. I mean this was the guy who tapped my back trying to comfort me the other day.

I was quickly becoming sort of obsessed with Quil, I craved to be around him and if I could I would happily spend every second of every day with him. I could sit and listen to him talk for hours because he was full of these amazing stories that he hadn't let out for 16 years, the way he told them was soothing, as if he were lulling me to sleep with each word.

He had been filling me in on a war that happened just before I left, or around the time I left when I was younger, Nessie and her family had needed the packs help. It was an interesting story; I couldn't quite understand it all but the outcome was good so that's all I cared about, no one had gotten hurt.

Just as I was about to speak a long howl let up into the night sky, Quil tensed as he snapped his head toward the trees behind us and the smile on his face dropped. The howl as obviously calling for the pack which meant the date was over. I tried not to look disappointed but I probably did and Quil noticed, he looked pretty annoyed as he looked back from the trees.

"Sorry, there's been a vampire roaming around the area recently so umm I guess we gotta go" He sounded like a sad puppy but before I could feel too disappointed I sparked a little fear, a vampire here? That couldn't be good could it?

We started packing up and walking to the car, slowly as if trying to drag it out but the howling went off again, slightly more urgent, like they were in trouble and in a second we were in the car and speeding back to Sam's. The howling kept going off, more urgent each time and as Quil dropped me off and ran for the trees I couldn't help but feel sad, for the first time since he kissed me I felt sick and like something bad was going to happen. As I turned to go inside another howl went off, but I was sure the tone to it was a little panicked, grief stricken maybe. And a horrible pain in my chest sent a new wave of sadness over me. Something didn't feel right.

* * *

**Thank you for your amazing reviews :D **

**Karu- I know your review was on Nowhere left to run but I won't update that until like tomorrow so I thought I would reply on here, you are making my head big with all these compliments hahaha, thank you for being so amazing with every review and you really do make me smile! :D I am glad however that I have gotten you hooked on my fanfic, I think I would get jealous if you loved someone elses more hehe I feel guilty though because this chapter probably has loads of mistakes because I'm in a bit of a rush but hopefully it was still ok for you :D **

**And with everyone else thank you for YOUR amazing support and love, it means a lot!xxxxx**

**Review!**


	28. Chapter 28

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

**Claire's point of view**

I lay awake in the tiny pink bed; the pains that stabbed through my chest had awoken me a little after 3am. I had felt uneasy since Quil dropped me home but as I slept the screaming started again and my body raged in aches that quickly became unbearable.

The screaming was calmer, less frantic than it had been my whole life but still there, stirring me to tears as I begged to be given the relief I had become accustomed to recently. But it wasn't there; I was alone and in pain. I reached into the bedside drawer of the pink bedroom and pulled out my painkillers, swallowing two without water in a desperate attempt to calm the angry bouts of rips that engulfed my heart.

This was getting ridiculous. My body had become used to feeling normal so this sudden eruption was killing me, and it was taking all my energy to keep my scream in.

A new howl let up outside, echoing around the night sky, it had been happening all night, different howls, at one point I heard Quil but that was right after he dropped me off, he hadn't howled since.

And at that thought my whole body seized up, the pain erupting in deeper rage. Lashing at every inch of my sleepy self, every muscle bolted as they rejected the pain that was hitting them, my body turned over desperately trying to find even the smallest of release from the merciless pain. It had never hit me this badly, my brain melted into overtime, this is how I imagined dying, unsurvivable pain that showed no mercy.

My stomach lurched violently, bile rising through me as the thought of my death twisted me around in the most unnatural position. I jerked myself from the bed with so much force I went collapsing to the floor with a loud thud. My glass of water went smashing beside me and I reached out to steady myself. The smash made me wince, the wince made another roll of nausea fly through me. Bringing me once again to my feet.

I flew through the bathroom door, it had felt like I had ran miles just to get here, gripping the edges of the toilet with such force my knuckles turned a pasty white I lurched again, but nothing came out, just a painful cough that tore at my throat. I had once become used to this feeling, the dry retching, my eating disorder had done this to me on so many occasions it had become a daily occurrence. But I hadn't done it in over a year, the pain was fresher than any memory I had of it, worse than I thought it had been.

My stomach churned again, lurching with another dry cough that made me want to cry out, nothing came up but my mouth filled with the metallic taste of blood, but there was no blood there. I turned, trying to get to the sink but my body felt like it was ripping in two. Every bit of it being forced apart as I clutched at the sink, I couldn't stand up, I couldn't feel my legs properly, the pain was coming from my chest but my legs weren't moving. A distraught sob broke through my panting, louder than I had ever sobbed, I felt like my heart was breaking in two, literally, like the reason I was here was being torn from me. I slammed myself up, but my legs gave out and I fell again, this time unable to hold in the scream of pain I had choked on earlier. I cried out, desperate for relief but all that came was fresh sobs and fresh pain. Oh god, Quil, he's hurt I could feel it, I knew it, he was hurt.

"Claire?" Emily's soft voice called out, the door flew open, her small body dresses in shorts and one of Sam's tops flew through. Her eyes frantically wide as she took me in, crying on the bathroom floor like a mad woman.

"What's happened?" She collapsed next to me, placing me up against the wall so I was sat up, the pain ripped out again, sending a new wave of tears down my face.

"I can't, I can't, it hurts it hurts Emily stop it please make it stop" I twisted, my cold body begging for release.

"Oh god, let me call someone" She flew up, running from the room as I clutched at myself, trying to hug the pain away.

My lips silently moved Quil's name, as if begging for him to be ok, but my heart was tugging telling me he wasn't, he was hurt too and the idea of that made it all so much worse.

"Nessie, sorry, it's Claire, something's wrong she's crying and screaming, is Carlisle there? Get him here now" I looked up at my aunt, tears were staining her cheeks and dripping to her top as she paced around the hallway, Bobby had started whining from somewhere but she didn't go to him, she dropped the phone to the floor and came back to me, holding me close to her as I cried through the pain. I would wake the kids up, the twins, I tried biting back the cries but it was no use.

"It's ok, Carlisle's on his way" She cooed, smoothing my hair from my face. Where was Sam? Bobby was screaming now, the twins shouting for their parents but Emily just sat with me, ignoring them as I writhed in pain. It was burning, my neck was burning, as if fiery liquid was being poured down my throat, an acid that burnt at me.

"Can you make it downstairs?" Emily asked, looking at me as I tried moving from her hold. I kicked out with my legs, they had started working again, painfully but they worked. I nodded, I would try.

"I have you, just lean on me ok?" She stood up, pulling me up to her, the pain that seared me was harrowing, it felt like the end, but not the end people talked about, peaceful in your sleep, but as if I was being murdered by myself.

"Ahh" I groaned as she pulled me to the stairs, my feet stumbling, everything felt like it was breaking, the pain so fresh yet so strange. I took notice, it was pain, from every inch of my body but it felt distant, as if I was feeling it for someone. Like when someone hits there head so hard you feel a tinge of pain for them.

We had made it half way down when I felt myself fading, the room around me blacking out, Emily's voice telling me to hold on to her was dying out, and I couldn't feel her skin on mine. I felt myself fall, someone screamed my name and a flash of pain shot through me before everything went black, I succumbed to the darkness, the peacefulness of it.

* * *

_**Quil's point of view**_

"_Dude there's something out here I am telling you" _

Jacob's voice erupted in my head, we had lost it, I had phased in just as the vampire managed to slam Brady into a tree, breaking his leg for a minute we thought Brady had died because we couldn't hear his thoughts but he piped back up and in our sudden lapse we had lost the leech. Brady had been taken to Jakes house where Nessie and Carlisle were treating him.

"_I know, I smell him but I can't find him, sneaky bastard" _ I had just ran patrol there, there was nothing.

"_Its playing with us"_

I couldn't smell anything or hear anything, it was a nightmare. I just wanted to get back to Claire she was probably freaking out. I just ran from her with no explanation.

"_Well sorry but you need to come here" _Jacob snapped at me, I groaned, she would be so pissed at me for this, I ruined the date.

"_And if you don't leave I'll be pissed, get your ass here" _He snapped again, I could feel his anger.

Resentfully I pushed myself into the woods more, further away from Claire. My feet tried to turn around but I forced them onwards, I couldn't be selfish, if my pack brother needed me I would go.

As I got closer to him I smelt it, leech. Not Carlisle, a new one. The smell was fresh, close by.

"_Told you he was over near me" _Jacob sneered at me, cocky that he had been right.

"_Oh shut up" _I snapped back, he blew a thought raspberry at me and I rolled my eyes.

"_Collin was right, silent Quil was way more fun, you're mean" _He didn't mean it but I growled all the same. I wasn't in the mood for petty play fights.

The smell got fresher as I trotted further in, as if I was right on top of it. Putting my head to the ground I sniffed, it was fresh. Too fresh. Jacob needed to get to me. Fast.

Before I had a chance to send out a call something hard collided with my body, searing pain through me as I was slammed into a tree. The smell of leech over powered me as I tried scrambling up, the hard body never let me go though, I couldn't move.

I yelped, my brain working frantic overtime trying to call for Jacob.

"_Hold on Quil I'm coming" _He yelled at me, I could see him as he flashed me images of his whereabouts, it didn't help, it was just trees, he could be anywhere.

I snarled, turning my head to bite at the intruder who was crushing my ribs. The pain cracking me like a whip as I fought against his grip.

"What's wrong wolf, no one to help you?" He sneered, planting a punch into my chest before flying off me. I turned, fumbling to my feet, he was a typical vampire, pale, red eyes, black hair and creepy leather clothes. Although, I hadn't fought one for a while. Not since I had gone on a vampire killing spree after Claire left, it lasted for 5 months before Sam ordered me to stop. I hadn't fought one since.

He smirked at me, aware of my weakness that had taken over my body. Leaping toward me I tried to do something, but I couldn't, my bites didn't do shit to him, but his hits were breaking my bones, my ribs cracked I could feel them, puncturing into my organs. No.

"_Jake!"_ I yelled, my wolf letting out a pathetic yelp for help.

"_Oh shit_" Jake mumbled, he wasn't close enough. A desperate howl let up, calling for the others as he pounded toward me.

"_Think of Claire Quil, you can't get hurt, she needs you to keep her strong"_ Jake spoke calmly, trying to urge me to fight back.

It worked; Claire's vulnerable face flashed my memories as the vampire broke another rib.

I flipped around, my jaws clamping around the vampires arm, ripping hard at him stopping his hits. My whole body was jolting from pain, my broken ribs puncturing fresh wounds into my lungs, my breathing was heavier, I couldn't breathe properly. No. I had to. I snapped at him again, catching the side of his face ripping a chunk away. My sharp claws caught his arm, ripping a deep gash into his icy skin. He wouldn't kill me. Not today.

A bark to my right caught my attention; Collin was pounding toward me, his smaller wolf angrily glaring at the vampire who had finally backed off me. I limped backwards, falling under the pain that ripped at my chest, my broken ribs cracking with each movement I made.

"_QUIL!"_ Collin yelled, he glanced at me for a second, a second too long; the vampire lunged at him, flinging him effortlessly into a tree where he fell into an unconscious heap.

"Too easy" The vampire smirked as he turned back to me, I limped backwards, I couldn't fight, I could hardly breathe or move. I needed someone. I felt sick, the pain from my punctured lungs causing me to lurch violently.

The vampire crept closer toward me, each movement was a cocky one, he was winning and he knew it. And if the others didn't show up soon, he would win completely.

I snarled at him, snapping yet again but it didn't stop him. My body was weak, I had only just started rebuilding myself, I wasn't ready for this. He lunged, I tried to lunge back but my ribs stopped me, sending me to a heap on the floor that the vampire landed on, his legs closed tightly around my bottom half, squeezing with such ferocity my hip snapped, the crack echoing like a gunshot around the silent night. Pain tore through me, I had never felt anything like it, it was as if my pain was being doubled, my legs stopped kicking out, paralysed from the break. The vampire was close to my neck, I snapped and snapped at him but my body was frozen, my broken bones stopping my attempts to get away.

The searing burn of his teeth piercing my skin sent a loud scream through me that echoed out as a howl. I had never felt worse pain, the burn was like acid had been poured down my throat, he had only pierced my skin but it hurt like he had ripped my throat out. I was blacking out. My body fell limp, I couldn't put up a fight any longer. An eruption of growls halted the vampire, lifting his head from my broken body he turned, letting out a frightened cry as barks and growls flew over me, the weight of his body gone replaced by emptiness. Rips and snarls echoed from around me, wolves flew past me in all directions and the sweet smell of burning flesh hit me, they had killed him.

But my body was weakening; I could barely feel the nudging of my brothers as they checked me. The pain in my heart overpowered the pain anywhere else. Claire. She was hurt. And I could do nothing for her. The whistle of the wind grew louder, turning to screams as my world went dark. The darkness filled with the desperate screams of the little girl I had failed to protect 16 years ago, but they turned to the screams of the girl I had failed to get to tonight, I once again hadn't fought hard enough. My pack brothers shouts echoed in my head, desperate howls let up into the sky and there were cries of my name. And with that, everything fell silent.

* * *

**Sorrryyyy, I wanted to write more but I ran out of time and I didn't want to miss another update because my updates have been pretty poo recently, and so I ended it on yet another cliffy because I know how much you all love them. **

**I promise the next one will be up tomorrow night though and it will be longer than this pathetically short one! **

**Forgive me! And review, lots of reviews? :D **

**xxxx**


	29. Chapter 29

**Short-ish chapter alert, sorry! Sorry for the wait as well, family has been staying with us so I've been a little all over the place, nightmare. Anyway, enjoy...**

**I do not own Twilight**

* * *

It was so bright, so cheerful and blue. The sun shone down and danced against the golden sand, birds chirped in the background and the crash of waves sung out like a lullaby. It was La Push beach, but it was more beautiful than I had ever seen it before, everything was intensified, the sand shone a bright gold that I had never seen it, the water was clear blue and the sky was crystal clear while the sun shone heat down on my tanned skin. It was unrealistically beautiful.

Soft material wrapped around my legs as the wind blew gently over my body; I glanced down and frowned at the dress I was wearing, it was white, blindingly white against the sun light that shone down and it came to just above my knees but had long flowing sheer material coming down the back of my legs, it was beautiful, but I had never seen it before nor had I put it on myself when I woke...I can't remember waking up. What happened?

I turned around, looking frantically for a sign of someone but I realised there was no one here, not a single dog walker or surfer, no cars were in the car park, it was empty. Peaceful, it was empty and peaceful.

I turned back to the water's edge, but there was someone stood there, on the edge of the water, a guy with his back to me, the water was crashing over his feet and even from behind he was beautiful, like a ray of sunlight calling to me. His soft curls were blowing in the wind and I walked forward, my bare feet sunk against the warm sand and I walked faster, it was Quil. I could feel it, Quil was here. Had he brought me here? I was within touching distance and I reached out to touch him, he turned to smile at me, his soft brown eyes glistening as he looked at me, his skin was tanned and colourful, his cheeks naturally blushed. I reached out further, I needed to feel him. But as my hand reached to slip into his the colour drained from his cheeks, his smile dropped and he stumbled backwards, he looked ill, sad, his beautiful glow was gone and my whole body jerked forward for him, I needed him.

"Claire"

A soft voice spoke out, echoing around me as I stared after Quil as he stumbled further into the water. I knew that voice.

"Claire you need to wake up"

I am awake, I am awake. I glanced around, no one was here. But I was awake.

"Quil needs you Claire, wake up, come on you can do it"

It was Emily, her mothering voice was echoing through me as the wind wrapped around me, I felt cold, the sun dimmed and the beautiful golden glow from the sand faded giving the scene around me a grey twinge. I turned back to find Quil but he was gone, he wasn't here, where was he? He needed me, Emily said he needed me, where was he?

My body was cold, weak and I felt myself fall, but I never met the ground I just kept falling like everything around me was sinking away.

"Claire" The soft feminine voice was back,dragging me from the beautiful scene that had surrounded me seconds before, but this time it was closer, more urgent and there was just darkness around me, darkness and coldness that I hated.

I stirred against whatever was beneath me, it wasn't sand, it was harder than that but still soft. My body was screaming in protest against my movements but I continued on, tossing until I was nearly on my side and a scorching hot hand came down on the top of my back, the touch making me flinch as I fought against my eyes that were refusing to open.

"Claire that's just Sam, you need to open your eyes honey" Emily spoke again and the scorching hand on my back didn't move, it was like it was pushing me almost, trying to get me to sit up.

I tried again to force my eyes open but I was exhausted, I felt like I could sleep for an eternity, my body was aching as in distant memories of a much worse pain, but I couldn't remember anything. My eyes slowly lifted, soft light crept through and I groaned as my head began thumping, what the hell had happened? I felt like I had been run over by a truck. Maybe I had been, maybe that's why I couldn't remember anything except that strange beach, but that was a dream, wasn't it?

The light hit my eyes more as I forced them to fully open, black blurs clouded my vision for a second before focusing in on the room around me, it was only dimly lit, a little lamp shining out from the early morning dullness. I was in the living room of Emily's, the soft sofa underneath me creaked as I rolled further over onto my side and let my eyes focus in on the people looking down at me, Emily, Nessie and Sam who was sat alongside me holding my back as if supporting me. They were all pale, the colour gone from their faces and Emily looked as if she had been crying for hours. Her eyes were puffy and red, left over mascara was smeared over her cheekbones, something was wrong, they were each looking at me like I was a china doll who might break any second. What had happened?

I glanced over my body, I was in my pyjamas still, nothing looked hurt or broken, I had no cuts or bruises but I felt achy and my heart was pulling at me, forcing me to feel an emptiness I hadn't felt in so long. Something was wrong. What happened?

No one said a word, they each just looked at one another before back down to me. The little girl started screaming at me again, Quil's name was being pounded at me over and over and I shut my eyes. A flash of blinding light hit me, the pain I had felt not long before, the nightmare that had ripped me from my sleep, the pained howls, Quil had left me, Quil...Quil oh god where was he?

"Quil" I whispered, my voice breaking through my dry throat that I remember had burned like acid not long before, but now it was painfully dry. I fluttered my eyes open again to glimpse at my aunt, fresh tears formed in her eyes and my heart sunk, Quil, something was wrong with Quil.

"He needs you Claire" Sam whispered from beside me and the hand that was supporting my back moved to rub over my shoulder blades in a comforting gesture. Why, why did he need me?

"What ha" I stopped, my throat cracking with dryness it was too painful to speak but they seemed to understand me, Emily backed off letting Nessie come to me and she held my hand in hers.

"Quil got hurt Claire, Carlisle's fixed him up as much as he can but he needs you, he's not getting better, we thought he would because you were but he's not" She spoke softly, her words running through me in a cold shiver, he was hurt. The pain I had felt was his pain, he was so hurt, I needed to get to him.

The though made a flash of energy run through me and I pushed my legs from the sofa, Sam kept his hand on my back guiding me as I swung myself up and steadied myself to my feet, it was uncomfortable but I needed to get to Quil. Sam took a hold of my arm letting me lean on him as I made my way to the kitchen, I watched the floor as I shuffled toward the stairs, my whole body was pulling to what I now knew to be Quil upstairs, he needed me. I glanced up at the kitchen as I leant in against the banister at the bottom of the stairs, the guys were sat around, the front door was open and I could see some of them outside on the porch while a few others and the woman sat around inside, Rachel glanced up at me and met my gaze, smiling encouragingly she winked and I looked back to Sam who nodded at me and pushed me toward the stairs. If they were all here that meant it was bad right? That meant he was seriously hurt.

A new wave washed over me and I found myself hurtling up the stairs, my legs began protesting but as I hit the landing the light of the pink room I had been staying in shone down on me and I knew he was in there, I could sense him. I pushed on further and stopped at the door, peering in I saw Carlisle knelt down by the bed, he was scribbling something down on paper and as I looked over at him he glanced up as if hearing me approach, his painfully pale face dropped into a sympathetic frown and he let out a long sigh before standing up and motioning for me to come in. I did, my legs walking slowly as I approached him and I kept my eyes away from the bed, I was too scared to look at Quil.

"He needs you to be strong for him now Claire, I've done what I can but he doesn't seem to be healing, I'm sorry" Carlisle's voice dropped to barely a whisper and guilt filled his gold eyes. What did that mean? That sounded like...no no he couldn't just die because I was still alive and that couldn't happen, he promised me that would never happen.

I finally peeled my eyes from Carlisle to look at Quil, his big body looked so small even against the tiny bed, he was pale and bite marks swelled against his neck, bandages were wrapped so tightly across his ribs and his face was blank, like he wasn't there. No. He was there, he was breathing, his chest bobbed up and down ever so slightly but it was something.

"I'll leave you alone, I'll be downstairs just shout if you need me or if anything changes, I won't leave until" He stopped, not daring the say anything more but from the way his face dropped I think I knew what he meant. He wouldn't leave until he was no longer needed. Carlisle walked for the door, flicking the light switch off as we went and he closed the door tightly, it wasn't dark, the sky outside was getting lighter as morning awoke the outside world but in here it seemed dark, even when it was light, it was just dark. If that made any sense.

I shuffled closer to the bed and crawled onto it, slipping under the pink duvet that covered Quil and I placed a quick kiss on his cold cheek, he was cold, he shouldn't be cold. Lying down beside him and I turned over so I could whisper to him, I had to believe he was ok.

"I thought I told you to be careful, you know your problem Quil, you're stubborn. Even when I tell you to be careful you don't listen do you, but you're going to have to start listening because I can't lose you. I only just got you so you're forbidden to leave me, not now, not ever Quil Ateara, you hear me?" I stopped as tears trekked down my cheeks and I ran my thumb across his chest as he bobbed up and down slowly from his ragged breaths.

"Besides, you never taught me how to drive that car and if you don't teach me then Embry will and we all know how dangerous Embry is, or even Paul, that would be even worse. So it can only be you. So I'm going to stay right here until you open those stubborn beautiful eyes of yours because it's my turn to be your life support machine Quil, it's my turn to save you so don't let me fail ok. Ok, I think you got that" I leant in closer, kissing his bare shoulder as I continued to weep silently into the pillow beneath my head.

I was rambling like an asshole. I felt desperate though, I had to do something and all I could do was talk, and so that's what I did, I led next to him and I talked, I talked until my eyes drooped from tiredness and I slipped into my own sleep beside him. He had to be ok, he just had to.

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**Sorry, I know I promised a long chapter but it didn't work out, I couldn't write anymore, I hit my chapter wall and this is as far as it went :( Anyway, come on guys, your slacking with the reviews ;) **

**So leave a review and the next chapter will be up soon :D **


	30. Chapter 30

**This is slightly longer than the last two, hopefully you like it :D I'm finding this story hard to write, like I'm out of ideas after this so chuck some at me if you have some... **

**Enjoy!**

**I do not own Twilight**

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He hadn't even moved it had been nearly 18 hours since I woke up and there had been nothing, not even a twitch of a movement. He was sleeping I suppose. But he looked so fragile, I hadn't left his side, only to shower and even then I took less than 2 minutes before throwing my pyjamas on and crawling back to his side. The guys stopped crowding downstairs and the only people left were Sam, Emily, Embry, Carlisle and Rachel. The rest had gone either back on patrol or to check on Brady who apparently had his leg broken but it was healed already. They hadn't found the vampire who hurt Quil yet, there was no sign of him apparently.

I glanced up from the paper I was reading out loud to look at Quil, he hadn't even flinched, I had been reading for over an hour now, just flicking through magazines and papers trying to stir something but he did nothing. Carlisle said his broken bones were healing and his heart beat was stronger but he just wasn't waking up. He had been bitten in the neck, and venom was poisonous for the wolves, but again, Carlisle couldn't sense any venom in him.

"What's wrong with you Quil? Why won't you just wake up?" I groaned as I lay back down next to him, my fingers trailed over his nose and lips, he was warmer than he had been earlier, that had to be good I suppose.

...

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26 hours. The longest 26 hours of my life. And still nothing. I gave up talking, it wasn't working. So now we led in silence, me clinging on to him trying desperately to cause some sort of change. But I obviously wasn't a life support machine to him like he was to me. He had saved my life, yet I couldn't save his. Well, I mean he wasn't necessarily dying but he wasn't necessarily getting better either.

...

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39 hours. Slight change, his temperature hit it's normal wolf high. No other change, he was still pale, and still unconscious.

...

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3 days.

There was still nothing. I had taken to cleaning the room over and over again and I was now polishing the window for the 5th time today. At least Samantha would have a spotless room to come back to when I left...if I left...strange, I had never thought about leaving, but I suppose I would need to, there was only so long I could make the twins share a room.

"I've got the eye of the tiger...your gonna hear me roar, louder than a lion, I am a champion...oh oh oh oh" I sang quietly fumbling over the words to Katy Perry, it was a catchy song. "Your gonna hear me roarrrrrr"

"Mmm please stop" A soft voice broke over my singing and I jumped and nearly fell from the chair I was stood on cleaning the top of the window. I span around and my eyes landed on Quil, his eyes were fluttering open and his hand was lifted over his forehead like he was rubbing his eyes. He was awake. Oh my god.

"Quil...oh god Quil your awake" I jumped from the chair a little too quickly because my legs gave up and I went stumbling to the floor.

"Only if you stop singing" He groaned again, this time his croaky voice got stronger and as I picked myself up from the floor I saw a smirk flash across his slowly flushing cheeks. He was awake. Oh my shit. He was ok. I felt like I just got all my Christmases at once. I flew to the bed and jumped a little too excitedly next to him and he let up a groan as the bed bounced and sent him tossing side to side. I couldn't help but lean down and place hundreds of kisses on his face, he was awake. I thought he was going to stay unconscious forever.

"You scared me, I thought you weren't going to wake up" I buried my face in his neck and his hand smoothed across the back of my head slowly. He was awake. Maybe I should shout for Carlisle...no I wanted him to myself.

"Your singing was torturing me" He complained again and I pulled up from his neck to scowl at him.

"My singing is fine thank you very much. Now promise to never ever ever ever leave me like that again" I pushed his chest so he wriggled against the bed, maybe I was being too full on but he was awake, the excitement of seeing his eyes open was too much to contain.

"I didn't go anywhere" I mumbled, a hard frown appeared on his face and he finally glanced over his bandaged torso and at the medical supplies dotted around the room. "What?"

"Quil, you've been unconscious for nearly four days" I whispered to him, maybe he was having amnesia. You could get that from traumatic events.

"We were at the beach...but you left me...I was trying to find you for ages.." He was fumbling with his words trying to explain. My heart thudded to a stop as he said beach, I had been at the beach, I had dreamt of the beach, he had been there but disappeared when I reached for him. "Was that a dream?" He finally spoke a little louder and I just stared at him, was it? I mean, it felt real, but I know it wasn't so I guess it was a dream.

"You were attacked by a vampire on patrol Quil, the guys carried you back here and you've been unconscious since. I should get Carlisle" I went to get up but his hand gripped around mine and I glanced back down at him.

"But I could hear you, you were telling me to come to you or something, you were asking me what happened?" He looked so confused and his frown hardened as he watched me stand up. I had said that stuff to him, maybe he could hear me.

"I'm going to get Carlisle, he'll explain" I shook my hand from his and walked to the hallway but Carlisle was already stood at the top of the stairs, he had been listening. Nessie was next to him and she smiled sweetly before walking in in front of me.

I stayed sat in the corner as Carlisle checked him over and explained his injuries to him, then Nessie showed him what had happened that night when the guys brought him back and she must have showed him how I had felt the pain too because his eyes flickered to mine and he looked terrified as he scanned over my body. A few of the guys came up after Carlisle left, each of them filling Quil in on the vampire situation and what happened to Brady, but he couldn't remember any of it, which I suppose was a good thing because the pain had been horrendous. After a couple of hours they all left and Emily brought our dinner up. Quil by this point was sitting up and claimed he felt perfectly fine, it was like the wolf healing stuff finally kicked in and he seemed sort of normal. Why it took so long none of us could figure out, maybe because it was a pretty bad attack.

"You going to put the film on or just stare at me all night?" Quil chirped as he sipped his coffee and I rolled my eyes at him but turned to slip the DVD in anyway. I got to chose, I suppose he should have chosen because he was the injured one but he let me chose so I took the offer while I had it and popped in Pitch Perfect, he complains about my singing, so I figured I'd torture him some more, plus it's a good film.

I slipped back under the duvet and started nibbling on the pizza Emily had made, he was eating most of it but I didn't mind because I was just happy he was awake and able to eat, I would happily starve if it meant he was ok.

We had gotten only 20 minutes into the film when his hand suddenly came up and ruffled my hair as if getting my attention and I turned my head to look at him, he was back to being serious, no smile lay there as it had all day. I thought he was faking it, smiling to keep everyone happy but even when I asked him when it was just us two if he was ok he had said he felt good.

"I'm sorry for scaring you, and being stubborn. I promise to listen to you from now on" He smiled a small smile and I cocked my head to the side remembering all the times over the last few days where I lay beside him telling him he was being stubborn and needed to wake up.

"You could hear me then?" I asked and he nodded then shrugged as he swallowed his mouthful of pizza.

"I think so, all I remember is the beach it was sunny but your voice kept echoing to me but I couldn't find you no matter how hard I looked" He was frowning again and I trailed across his burrowed eyebrows with my finger. It was good to have him like this, even frowning, anything was better than the comatose state he had been in.

"I dreamt of that too, when I was unconscious the night it happened. We were at the beach and it was perfect, then Emily started calling out to me and you disappeared and I woke up here and it was dark and gloomy. But I think it's getting lighter now your awake...definitely feels better" I spoke into the duvet as I suddenly became too shy and embarrassed at admitting this to him, we still weren't really at a area in our relationship where sleeping in a bed together and talking about all this sort of feelings crap was comfortable. Before the accident we were 'dating' I suppose, but nothing big, he had still been taking it slow.

"Maybe it's an imprint thing. All I know is that it feels better to be awake and be able to see you instead of just hear you" He too seemed to lower his voice and before I could look back up he did a sort of awkward cough before shifting in his seat. "What is this film anyway?"

I glanced over at him, his cheeks were flushed slightly pink and he was chowing down on the pizza crusts I had left. "Pitch perfect, it's a singing film, lots and lots of pop songs for you to enjoy" He groaned at me as I smirked proudly, the boy shouldn't have told me to choose if he didn't want to watch a girls film.

...

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Quil's moaning over my choice of film had only carried on for around ten minutes, as we reached the part where the cup song came up a soft snore broke through my humming and Quil was flat out asleep next to me. He was cuter now that I knew he would wake up in a few hours, before he had looked like death but now he was snoring, and even at times dribbled as he lulled into a deeper sleep.

It must have been a real deep sleep because when I woke up this morning at 10.30 he was still snoring as he had done the night before, and it was now 12.00 and he still hadn't woken up. Emily had rang Carlisle to check it was normal because I was freaking out that he would fall back into his unresponsive state but apparently it was fine for him to be this tired even after days of being out of it.

So now I was outside, Emily forced me to go outside because I had spent the morning pacing around the house and running up and down the stairs checking that Quil was still breathing. My argument was that she would be the same if it was Sam but she had none of it and sent me out to water her plants. Which I had accidently now drowned because I kept getting distracted by my thoughts and worries.

"Claire" Sam's gruff voice ripped through my thoughts and I turned back to the house to where he was waving the phone at me in his hand. "Phone call, it's Max" He called out again and I dropped the watering can before rushing to where he was on the steps and grabbed the phone from his hands. I hadn't spoke to anyone since my parents left here. They had rang a lot in the last few days but I wouldn't take their calls because I was too wrapped up in Quil, which Emily explained to them but gave them only a brief version of events rather than the full story, it would only cause my parents to come rushing back here if they knew I had been hurt by it too.

"Hello? Max?" I practically yelled into the phone as I sunk down onto the bottom step and Sam chuckled from behind me as his footsteps softened back into the house.

"Hey sis" Max's cheerful young voice sung down the earpiece and I smiled at the familiar happy feeling he was able to bring to me, he was the only person, other than Quil who managed to get me to feel calm when I was upset or worried. "I feel privileged to be speaking to you, mom and dad said you were ignoring their calls"

I let out a sigh and sunk my head against my bent knees, of course they would use the word ignore rather than simply saying I wasn't available to talk. "I wasn't ignoring them, I had stuff going on. How are you? Are they being kind to you?"

Max laughed and even I had to snort with laughter, I sounded like I was his mother asking if his school friends were being nice to him or something.

"Yes Claire, my parents are being kind to me. Only you would ask that. Anyway that is not why I am ringing I have news, big news, like real big news" I could hear the excitement in his voice and I instantly perked up, big news, that had to be good. I could use good news, I mean Quil waking up was good news but I needed more, I needed perfect news from now on.

"Ooooo tell me tell me" I squealed and snapped my head up to look into the trees, Embry was walking across the yard and winked as I looked up at him, I smiled back and as he walked past me he ruffled my hair, the guys seemed to like doing this. It annoyed the hell out of me and I think that's why they did it.

"First I want to know how you are, what's that guy's name you're seeing, Will?"

"It's Quil and I'm not seeing him, I'm just..he's my friend" My heart fluttered at the mention of him but I sprang in the defence I knew my brother had been trying to provoke. He had waited years to be able to tease me over a boy.

"A friend that you go on dates with? Hmmmm hey sis I got all the gossip, I had my little birdies everywhere" He teased more and I had to frown, how had he known I went on dates?

"What bird? Max stop messing around."

"A little bird named Suzie, I rang last week and she answered, said you were on a date with Willy, but I guess she could have said Quilly. Either way, I know the deets, she said you and him were going to get married and that you loved each other and that"

"Max shut up" I cut across him as I knew what was coming, some sort of inappropriate joke or he would break out in a love song. He started laughing and even through my annoyance at his teasing I had to smile, I missed him, he was my little bro. "Tell me your news"

He did a big intake of breath and I found myself tensing as I waited, I felt a little on edge. "Well, I got the scholarship for football..I'm going to Florida baby" He sung out the last bit and I couldn't help but jump from my step and started screeching down the phone in excitement, that was his dream college, oh my lord.

"Ahhhh Max I am so happy...ahhhhh I knew you could do it" I jumped some more and he started laughing down the phone again.

"I know right, going to be sweet. Hey I'm stealing your TV, if you're marrying Quil you won't need it anymore so it's mine for college. And possibly your laptop, mine broke. And if you wouldn't mind I would love your stereo system"

Well now he was pushing it. But he had a point, I wouldn't be going back there. "Eurgh fine take what you want, and I am not marrying Quil so stop saying that"

"Sure sure sis, but from what I heard from little Suzie wedding bells will be ringing, what was the term she used..soul mates I think, either way I'm happy, you seem better there than you ever were here. Let's hope I find myself a little hot soul mate in Florida eyyy" He sung out again and I rolled my eyes at his typical guy comment. "Anyway, I gotta go, I'm going out with the guys. I'll see you soon. Love you...be safe, always use protection yadda yadda yaddaa" He teased.

"Max stop it you idiot" I snapped but the phone went dead, eurgh he was such an ass sometimes.

Clicking the phone off I turned back to the porch to sit down but my space was taken, Quil was sat there staring at me, expressionless would be a good word to describe the look he held. I walked over and squeezed into the space next to him but he still didn't change his facial expression. Had I done something wrong?

"Did you get enough sleep?" I finally asked and he simply nodded at me, he looked brighter, even yesterday when he was smiling and talking he looked tired but he seemed more rested now. "Did you want some food?" I offered and went to stand up, I was sure he would be hungry he always was. But as I lifted myself off the step his hand caught mine and pulled me back down and he set his hard stare on me, my stomach clenched, I had done something wrong.

"Can we go out for food? I cut our last date short, I want to make it up to you" He finally let up a smile and even though it was only small the clenched worry in the pit of my stomach eased, he didn't hate me.

I glanced behind me to the kitchen and as I expected Sam and Emily were peering out at us but as they saw me looking Sam jumped and ran off, but Emily stayed where she was and started nodding crazily at me to go but I ignored her and turned back to Quil shrugging. "You're probably tired and you only woke up yesterday we shouldn't rush it, you should rest"

He let out a irritated sigh before taking my other hand in his and turned to look at me straight on. "I've rested Claire, I'm fine, I want to take you out so will you just let me? I want to say thank you for what you've done this week" He pulled on my hands shaking them around and I bit my lip trying to decide if it were a good idea or not. "I'm not taking no for an answer so come on" He stood up pulling me with him and he flashed me a grin as we made our way to where a few trucks and my Beetle were parked.

"Are you ok to drive?" I asked and he nodded but tossed a set of keys at me.

"But I'm going to teach you. Get in, I did promise you after all and you were right when you said I would never let Embry or Paul teach you" He started smirking and before I could respond he had jumped in the passenger side.

I couldn't drive? What was he thinking I had never done this before? He started waving frantically at me and I shuffled forward to slip into the little car and I had to say it felt wrong me sitting behind the driver seat.

"Right now turn the key in there, and you press your foot down on the clutch and shift into gear here" Quil started pointing to things and I tried following him but as I moved the gear stick thing the car jolted and the engine made a flumping noise. I killed it. And Quil just laughed. I suck at driving. This was going to be a long day.

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**Review!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Some quick replies! **

**FanFicChik- You reviewed on an earlier chapter but as I can't reply to you via that one I figured I would do it here and hope you see it at some point, listened to that song and I love it, definitely this story! :D **

**Crazylittlewerewolf- Welcome back! Good to hear from you again, thanks for the review :D knowing Quil he will find a way to worry himself over it eyy :D **

**Rafam- Then this chapter is for you especially the ending hahhha! :D Thank you for your support, definitely! they need to focus on their future now. **

**Karu- I know, I know, I wasn't happy with the last chapter, I've been really stressed out and I feel like I've rushed my writing recently due to the stupid people I work for and the stupid tax office screwing with my money and I've been spending all my time sorting that out, but luckily it is all sorted and I can spend more time writing but I promise to try get my sparkle back :D don't worry I agree completely I didn't feel the last chapter was to a good standard and I'm sorry :( But thank you for your support and love it means a lot :D xxx**

**RCCB- Thank you for your idea, I shall be sure to work some more pack fun into it :D**

**Thatgirlmartina- I know, poor Quily! **

**To my guest reviewers and Maddog12, KH73, love evolves from friendship, thank you all for your love and support with this story :D Hope to hear from you some more :D xxx**

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I do not own Twilight

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"Ok maybe you need a few more lessons but you'll be great once you get the hang of breaking" Quil tried telling me seriously as we walked down toward the La Push diner, I just gave him the look of 'your failing at lying' and he snapped his mouth shut but a smirk lay there.

"Quil I nearly killed a cat. Like literally nearly killed it. I think I want Sam to teach me, you make me nervous" I told him truthfully, because he did make me nervous, I could barely concentrate on the road when he was sat next to me looking all beautiful and alive. I had been so busy freaking out over him staring at me I mounted the curb and was two millimetres away from killing a little cat.

"Why do I make you nervous?" He asked, jerking his head back in a frown as if to say I was being ridiculous.

Well it was great that he was confident around me but he still made me feel like a giddy kid and I was constantly on edge near him unsure of what to do or what he was going to do. "I don't know you just do I suppose" I shrugged at him unable to tell him exactly why he made me turn into an over the top teenage girl. Surely he should know anyway, I mean I was his imprint that alone was reason enough to be nervous. Not only was I just beginning to date him or get to know him but I already knew he was mine for life and that was a scary thought.

He didn't reply but a massive grin flashed across his face and he lit up for the first time in days, like really lit up, he looked rested and younger than he had before the attack if that were possible. Holding the door open to the diner he signalled for me to go in and so I did. He walked me to a little booth in the back and sat down opposite me.

"It's weird that your suddenly better, I mean you were out of it for like 3 and a half days and now your normal again" I stated as I took in his healthy appearance, to an outsider it looked like nothing had happened to him and if I told someone he was comatose not a day ago they would surely tell me I was crazy. But Quil just shrugged it off like it was normal and looked down at the menu.

"Perks of the job I guess" He didn't look at me as he answered; he just stared at the menu.

"Hmmm don't suppose that job comes with many perks so you're allowed one"

He looked up at me this time, a small smile playing his lips as he shook his head at me telling me I was wrong. "I have a few perks with it; healing fast is just a little one. There is one that I don't think I would live without, it's definitely my favourite part of what I do" he put his menu down and leant forward, reaching out across the table he took my hand in his and with his index finger he began tracing my tattoo that read hope. My stomach lurched into action as the butterflies danced around and my heart beat picked up at his touch.

"What are the other ones?" I gulped before asking and my voice came out slightly nervous to match my internal feelings.

His eyes flashed up from my wrist to meet mine and he slid his hand from tracing the pattern to holding mine. "Running fast, hearing my brothers thoughts, being able to eat loads, generally being able to be a wolf. And one more, one more which is way better than the others" He smirked again and his stare deepened, like he was trying to see right into my soul. He made me crazy, I could never think right around him.

"Which would be?" I felt brave and asked further, he didn't seem annoyed so I guess it was safe.

"You" His stare held mine and on queue my stomach jumped in excitement and flew around within me as I let the smile spread over my face. "I know sometimes I don't show it but I'm happy I have you, it definitely makes the whole wolf thing bearable" He added, his own smile creeping up but his was sheepish and I could tell he felt slightly uncomfortable laying himself out like this.

"I'm happy I have you too" I said back as he went back to tracing my tattoo. He frowned a little as he heard my words, like I said something wrong and my heart sunk.

"How do I have you?"

I shook my head, I didn't understand what he meant, the frown on his face was deeper than before and he stopped tracing the tattoo and moved to the only visible scar left on my wrist and gently scratched along it before looking up at me.

"I heard you say to Max you weren't going to marry me, and I know we aren't exactly going out or aren't anywhere near that stage. But just the way you said it kind of made me think about stuff. I guess it made me think that maybe you didn't want me in that way, like we are more friends. I want whatever your happy with, I just needed to ask I guess" He fumbled around like he was rambling and he kept his eyes looking down at my wrist. "Do you? I mean are we just friends?"

My heart sunk again, he heard me say it to Max and obviously thought I meant I would never marry him. I meant it as present tense, like I wouldn't marry Quil right now. Although, thinking about it, I probably would because I knew I couldn't live without him. But then his last words kicked in, he was saying he thought I just wanted to be friends. This guy was so stupid sometimes.

"Quil, really? You're asking if we are just friends." He was unbelievable sometimes. He opened his mouth to reply but the waitress appeared at our booth chewing her gum loudly as she stared a little wide eyed at Quil.

"What can I get for you?" She cocked her head to the side in a way that obviously showed she was trying to be cute and she pushed her chest out as she bent down to grab the menu from in front of Quil. She lingered for a moment as if trying to give him extra time to stare at her cleavage that was stuffed uncomfortably into her dress.

"I'll have a cheese burger and fries, and a chocolate milkshake" Quil answered, his eyes never left mine and his hand just continued to tracing circles over my lower arm.

"I'll have the grilled chicken sandwich and a strawberry milkshake please" I ordered and looked up at the girl; she just looked at me with disgust as she jotted down the order.

"Is that all?" The girl cooed out again and reached across me to grab my menu, she slapped it against my arm by 'accident' but it was obvious she was trying to stir attention from the guy who hadn't looked at her once since she had been stood there. His eyes were placed only on me. I felt like screaming suck on that bitch at the waitress but the way her face fell in disappointment as she walked away was reward enough for me and I turned to look at Quil again, waiting for his answer to my question, I figured I wasn't getting one and so I carried on.

"So even after I told you I was practically in love with you? After I go on all these dates with you? After I sit with you for three days begging you to wake up you still ask me if I just want to be friends." I sounded exasperated as I cocked my head to the side and raised both eyebrows at him. He sighed and brought his other hand up to cup mine and he leant back so he was strung lazily across his side of the red leather booth.

"Claire I just don't want to rush you or force you into anything. I wanted to let you take your time and I don't know, I thought when you said that to Max I thought it meant like you would never want to and I figured maybe I got it all wrong. I just want you to have your own choice but part of me is selfish and I don't want you to either if that makes sense" He started nibbling on the inside of his lip and I could tell he was worrying over it all, I felt bad, I should have worded my response to Max better than I had.

"And I have told you time and time again that I do have a choice and I choose you Quil. I know you're trying to give me time but if I'm being honest I don't need time. I know how I feel about you and you know how I feel about you and you need to stop worrying so damn much about everything and just let it be. Let's be honest here, I am not a kid, I make my own decisions and I very clearly made the decision to stay here with you so just accept that I am head over heels for you and get over it. Besides, if you want to ever to get to the marrying stage you need to pull your finger out and do something about it because you can't marry a girl you haven't even asked out can you" And to top of my rant I poked my tongue out at him which caused him to chuckle and forced him from his previous stance of seriousness. I couldn't stand being serious with him for too long; he stirred the childishness in me too much.

"Hmm" He mumbled and sat upright again as the waitress placed the drinks out in front of us, she shot me a dirty look before grinning at Quil who again was only looking at me and again I did an internal major middle finger waving at her. She turned and wiggled her way back to her counter and I gave Quil my attention back.

"So let me get this straight, if I 'pulled my finger out'" He did air quotes as he used my previous phrase and I gave him a sarcastic eye roll before letting him carry on. "If I did that, and asked you out you would say yes?" He looked slightly hopeful and his eyes were lit up in excitement as he watched me.

I pulled my hand from his and reached for my shake, slurping on it through the straw before eyeing him and up and giving him a smirk. "Define 'out'" I teased and did the air quotes he did minutes before and he offered me back the eye roll.

"Why do you like to torture me so much?" He groaned as he reached for his own shake and slurped on it and I just shrugged innocently. I did torture him a lot, mostly with singing but otherwise I just teased him. It was a nice difference from the tension that clouded us when we first met and so I liked keeping it light.

"Fine, if I asked you to be my girlfriend what would you say?" He finally asked and I slurped longer on my milkshake while peering up at him with as much innocence as I could master. Internally my stomach as flipping over and over and my heart was rocketing around my chest like it was about to take off. I was buzzing from excitement, I felt like I had literally waited my whole life for this single moment. The chance to actually reach out and grab what I wanted.

"Hmmm you see that's a tough one" I teased more and as Quil went to say something the waitress appeared yet again but this time with our food, she didn't bother to stick around this time and she slammed it down before storming off again obviously put off by the lack of attention she was receiving from the tanned hunk of man in front of her. HA. Was all I had to say for her?

"Claire would you please stop torturing me so much and say you'll be my damned girlfriend?" Quil leant over the table taking my hands in his as he locked eyes with me, there was an edge to his voice that I had never heard from him before, like he was finally taking control of what he wanted and I smiled back at him.

"See now that's how you pull a finger out. Now about the torture, not sure I can do that. But if you give me some fries I may tone it down a bit" I teased again and he sighed but chuckled at the same time, mumbling about me being hard work or something but he pushed his plate toward me and loaded some fries onto my plate.

He was staring at me waiting for me to answer his question. I did torture him too much but it was payback for the torture he put me through the last few days. "Yes Quil, I will be your girlfriend"

* * *

Emily started squealing away next to me as I mouthed the words to her that Quil had asked me to officially be his girlfriend, I couldn't say it out loud because the guys were in the living room and would hear us but by now Emily's squeaking was probably giving us away.

She started jumping around on the spot, the muffin mix on her spoon flicked everywhere as she spun around and she reached out pulling me into a hug. "I am so happy for you" She whispered so lowly it was a miracle I heard it.

I nodded in agreement, I was stupidly happy since I had said those words to him I couldn't stop the smile on my face. He even made me drive home and from where I felt so elated I only stalled once and I only hit a trash can as I turned to come down the driveway. So even though it was still me crashing, it was better than the cat and it was only Sam's so therefore it didn't matter much.

Emily eventually calmed down and went back to her baking and I focused on the living room where Sam, Embry, Jacob and Quil all sat around chatting and laughing about something to do with cars. I zoned in on one person in particular and I felt the smile grow on my face. We had spent most of the day sat in the diner giggling and chatting, it felt so normal to be with him, there was no awkward silences, no forced conversations; it just flowed naturally between us. It was easy as hell and the best feeling in the world. A nudge popped against my ribs and I looked across at Emily who was smiling, eyebrows raised at me as I stared like a douche at Quil. Not like I could help it, he was perfect.

"Oh shut up you" I poked my tongue out as she started laughing at me and I pushed myself from the counter where I had been leaning. "I'm going to have a bath" I pronounced loudly to the room and Quil looked over at me to nod as he laughed hysterically at whatever Embry was saying. He was so much better now, he never used to even say hi to people and here he was laughing and joking with his best friends. My heart warmed at the sight and I actually felt grateful that I had gone against my parents like I had, because if I hadn't fought against them and come here then he would still be that depressed guy and I would probably be dead.

I shuffled my way upstairs and grabbed a pair of knee length leggings and an oversized plain man top from my draw and went to the bathroom, running the hot tap until the bath was near to overflowing and the water was too hot to add anymore. I needed this, a long relaxing bath.

I was in there for nearly an hour, drifting in and out of sleep as the hot water lulled at me and relaxed me so much I could barely find it in myself to move. But I finally tore myself up and dried off before throwing the clothes on. My hair was damp and I couldn't be bothered to dry it so I spun it up into a top knot and left the steamy hot bathroom. The cold hallway air hit me and I shivered as my skin throbbed at the sudden temperature drop. The house was quiet, which was strange for this place, as I walked past the kids rooms I heard their soft snores signalling that they had gone to bed early because it was only 7pm, they normally were up until like 8.

As I pushed open my bedroom door my heart skidded to a halt at the sight before me, a few candles were placed and lit around the child's room and Quil was sat cross legged on the bed with an array of candy options laid out in front of him. The lights were off and so the candles and the lit up TV was the only thing offering any light. He glanced up as I made my way in and I stopped as I shut the door behind me to take him in, what was he doing?

"I umm thought we could watch a film, I don't have patrol, might as well make the most of it" He offered and threw the duvet up from beside him so I could climb in, which I did, slowly because I felt a little unsure of myself. I had shared a bed with him before but it felt more romantic and sweet this time, the last time was because he was practically on his death bed.

His arm came out around my shoulder and he pulled me into his side and I was glad one of us felt confident in this moment because I sure as hell didn't. This was new territory for me and my heart was giving me away by its constant thumping. He flicked the play button on the TV remote and handed me a bag of gummy bears while he opened a snickers bar.

I was bought from my obvious staring at him by the music that started playing on screen and I glanced up at the small TV then back to Quil. Pretty Woman was playing, my all time favourite movie. I loved this film. We had tried watching it once, the night with the hot chocolates but we fell asleep and never actually watched it.

"We could try watching it again because we fell asleep last time" He smiled at me as he offered me a bite of his chocolate and I felt myself blush as I took it. I seriously loved this guy; I think I was going love crazy because everything he did made me blush even if it was just holding my hand.

I settled into his side, nibbling on the gummy bears as the film rolled on and I glanced up at one point to see Quil staring wide eyed at the TV as if mesmerised by it. We got to the part where Julia Roberts does the whole 'you just did' line when Richard Gere says he never treated her like a prostitute and Quil actually made a hissing 'oh damn' sound. He was really into the movie. Even when I tried speaking to him he hushed me. Well, I think we found his new favourite film.

I felt myself drifting off as the film drew to a close but I was startled from my doziness as Quil erupted in a 'awww' from beside me, he was grinning at the TV like a girl as they kissed on the fire escape and I had to giggle at how much he had gotten into the film he once had said was simply about a prostitute.

"Told you it's an epic love story" I yawned as I slid down him and onto the pillow so I was led down, he followed me as he turned the TV off and by this point the various candles had burnt out and the room was left in darkness.

"Not as epic as ours" He sung truthfully as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him. I couldn't help but smile even against my drooping eyes, our love story, I liked that. "I mean not everyday someone can say they were separated in childhood, found each other again after years of looking, fixed one another, fell in love, nearly lost one another again and then fixed it all. It would make a great movie" He yawned now and his breath tickled along my face, my hand lifted up to his jaw and for some reason I started trailing along his jaw bone with my finger, it felt nice to be so comfortable and open with him after weeks of trying to get a simple kiss of him. Which I still hadn't managed properly.

"Hmm I'll be sure to write a recommendation to Nicholas Sparks in the morning" I added in and he chuckled at me, we did seem to have the perfect plot for the perfect dramatic love story.

"I'm glad you said yes today. I was just worried I was doing everything wrong, I've not had much practice at this whole relationship stuff" Quil whispered against the darkness and I felt him move closer to me on the small bed.

"You've never done anything wrong, quite the opposite actually. Just promise me you won't go back to worrying about choices and being friends? I don't think I can take much more of your procrastination" I joked but I was serious at the same time, I couldn't take the worrying he did anymore, I liked Quil when he was confident and went for it rather than when he moped about what ifs.

"Promise, now go to sleep bear" He whispered at me again and before I had time to answer his face was near enough on mine and his lips were gently grazing the top of mine as if waiting for permission, my heart accelerated and began hammering away in my chest while my body fell clenched in anticipation and I perked my lips to tell him I was ok with him kissing me, I was more than ok actually, I was dying for him to be closer to me.

As if understanding my reactions his soft lips came pushing down on mine and it was like a firework display went off within me, my whole body was jumping with glee as our lips moved against one another and my fingers fell from trailing his jaw to cupping his neck and I pulled him closer to me again so that our bodies were pressed against one another. He was gripping my waist with one arm and the other that lay around my shoulder had his hand resting on my hair lazily but as our kiss deepened he gripped at me as if needing more contact. My stomach was in swirls as he continued to kiss me; he was forceful but still sweet and just enough. He pulled back for breath and we both gasped before I fell into a giddy giggle at the blush that flamed in my cheeks. His hand smoothed at my hair and he leaned in to place a tiny peck along my lips before placing another on my jaw line and finally one on my forehead.

"Goodnight Quil" I whispered and I lay my head in the crook of his neck letting myself be bobbed up and down with each breath he took. His slightly heavy breathing wasn't annoying like it should be, it was like it was singing my already drooping eyes to find their rest and I eventually let myself close them completely and let myself drift into the place where I would dream more of him. Today had been perfect, all of the anxiety and stress I had felt days before whilst he had been ill was gone and I just felt content.

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**Thank you for the reviews, sorry for the delay but I'm starting my new job this week so I need some time to adjust to new work schedules and fit in paper work :S Anyway, leave a review!**

**p.s any Truth about love readers on here, the new chapter will be posted tomorrow, after I have my relaxing spa day ;) Sorry for the delay!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry if this is a bit sudden, but there is only one chapter left after this one, I have run out of their story and honestly I feel it best to end it on a high than to drag it on and it to be crap. So enjoy this one, the final chapter will be up tomorrow :D **

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I tried being calm, I really did but I couldn't and so instead I went running out of the test centre like a lunatic waving my pass slip around as I made my way to where Quil, Embry, Sam and Emily were stood waiting. They all started cheering and hollering as I skipped across the parking lot to them and Quil ran forward and scooped me up before spinning me in circles. I had passed my driving test, I had my license, officially. And it only took like a month and a half of lessons. Although, I did have to quit learning from Quil, I just could not concentrate with him sat next to me, so instead the guys all took it in turns teaching me until finally Emily had enough and did it.

It started with Jared, who was a nervous wreck and every time I went even a smidge over the speed limit he crapped himself and started squealing for me to slow down, Embry got distracted by passing girls and kept losing interest in what I was doing, then Paul would bring snacks with him, hence him getting distracted by the food in his lap rather than concentrating on me. Then Jacob started doing dad dancing and was just all round cringey so Sam finally took over and he kept doing the imaginary breaking where he would slam his foot down as if trying to break but obviously there was no break on his side so instead he would slam his hand against my dashboard therefore scaring the crap out of me and so I would go swerving all over the road like a looser. And so after my tenth lesson of storming from the car in annoyance Emily took over and I was now officially a license holder.

"I am so proud of you" Quil shouted a little too loudly in my ear but I didn't care, I was too buzzed at passing my damn test. He finally set me down on my feet but I was quickly scooped up by Embry who began jerking me around violently until Sam took me from him and proceeded to tackle me into a bear hug from him and Emily.

"Well done sweetie" Emily cooed as she placed a big kiss on my cheek and I jumped around from the excitement building within me. Everything was falling into place. Quil and I were doing great, we were officially a couple and had been for over month now, Max had gone to college, my parents were finally ok with me, I could now drive my beautiful red Beetle and I was perfectly healthy and no longer needed checkups at the hospital.

They finally let me go, but as soon as the others backed off Quil was back at my side, his hand looped in mine tightly as he grinned proudly at me. He had spent days telling me I would pass but each time he said it I broke down in nervous tears that I couldn't and each time he sat with me until I calmed myself down, but more often than not he made me cry again from telling me how amazing I would do. I guess he had been right.

"Right so we are going home, and you can drive yourself" Sam smiled down at me before hopping over to his truck with Embry, Emily blew me a ton of kisses before climbing in.

Quil had driven my car here because I had been too nervous to go with Sam and Embry who had both been teasing me for the last three days that I would fail. We were in Port Angeles and I didn't want to just go home, I wanted to celebrate. After all, I just did something my parents told me I never could, that was a massive accomplishment.

"Food?" Quil piped up as we made our way to my pretty little car and I couldn't help but laugh. That was so Quil, everything led to food. And to think, a couple months back he was barely eating anything, now he ate about 6 meals a day plus snacks.

He took my hand and dragged me to the car, he was obviously excited at the prospect of being fed, and to be fair, so was I. I had been so nervous recently I was barely eating, however, I had gained a lot of weight, not loads but enough that I was now normal sized, still slim but I actually had a squidgy part on my stomach which most girls hate but I love.

"Let's go good looking" Quil called out as he chucked my car keys at me and launched himself in the passenger seat. The boy was hungry.

* * *

I cringed as Paul asked the question everyone else had been careful to steer clear from, luckily Rachel shot him a shut up look and he did so and no one had mentioned it since, but now everyone was leaving the beach picnic Emily had organised for me to celebrate passing my test and I was left alone with Quil. The silence was filled with tension and I was staring at the sand beneath me twirling patterns with my cold fingers, anything to keep from the discussion I didn't want to have.

I listened as the roar of the last car faded away and I was officially left alone. I had once yearned for alone time with Quil, but right now I could think of nothing worse and it was all thanks to Paul. I could see Quil in the corner of my eye, he was playing with an empty yogurt pot, spinning it in circles on top of his finger. This had to be the most awkward moment of my life. He was obviously back to procrastinating, whether he was angry, sad or nervous I couldn't tell but he wasn't normal.

I let the silence carry on for another ten minutes before I could take no more and I scurried onto my knees to pack up the remaining items of food and drink that Emily had left in her hurry to get her whining children to bed.

"Quil there's left over cake, would you like it now or shall I just wrap it up to take home?" I asked in the kindest and most normal voice I could stir, it still sounded forced though. He grunted offering no help my query and so I wrapped it up figuring he was so deep in his internal thoughts that he wouldn't eat it anyway.

"Are you going to drive or shall I?" I tried again as I finally gathered the contents of the blanket into a bag and stood up.

"Really?" He snapped, he was obviously annoyed and I cringed back down to my knees beside him. This would not be pretty. Quil was lethal when he was given time to worry about things or even given a reason to worry, and Paul had handed that to him on a blunt platter.

"What?" I tried acting innocent but Quil snapped his head up from his bowed position and looked at me as if I was the most stupidest human being alive.

"What you going to do next then guys because she's only 19 and you're way older, how you going to work around college?" He replied in his best Paul impression to date, that wasn't exactly how Paul put it, he was much harsher but I know he hadn't meant to be, it was a question they had all been dying to ask. I was at the right age to go to college or go travelling or whatever it was 19 year olds do.

"Oh Quil don't start, you promised not to do this anymore" I groaned and flopped down into the blanket to bury my head as if that would make his mood disappear.

"I am not doing anything, I am just bringing up a very real issue. He is right your still a kid, technically I am old enough to be your dad"

"EWW Quil stop" I moaned, that was not a thought I wanted to have, it was right he was, but he looked like a kid himself so it never really bothered me unless someone pointed it out.

"Well I am Claire. And I'm not stupid, I know there is a million other things you should be doing at 19 than staying in this little crappy town with me" He snapped back and I couldn't hold in the eye roll that happened, he hated when I did that but sometimes he was so stupid it couldn't be helped.

"Maybe I like this crappy little town and maybe I like being here with you. I have never even thought of doing anything else, I'm not the travelling type, I'm not into drinking, I don't have dreams to go off to LA and be a big superstar so what else is there that you think I'm going to run off and do?" I tried not to snap because I know it wasn't his fault, it was Pauls. And I damn sure would be yelling at him later.

Quil shook his head into his hands, letting off a huge sigh before he looked back up to me and I realised he wasn't angry, he was sad, so so sad. My heart ached for him, he honestly was the most idiotic person I had ever met, no matter how many times I proclaimed my love for him we always came back to this, we always came back to the worries and the fear that I wouldn't want him or something along those lines. It was beginning to get to me, I mean it did get to me, but now it was really annoying the hell out of me.

"College? You say you don't want to do those things but one day you'll resent me for it. I resented myself and the whole wolf thing for ruining my chances of travelling and college and shit, your gonna do the same" He was working himself up now, small shakes were erupting over his skin and his skin was blushing to an angry red.

College? Was he serious? That was laughable, really was. "Quil, I'm glad you think I could ever get into college but that is something you never have to worry about"

He looked at me and frowned deeper, as if I was insane for saying what I said. "You're the smartest person I know, why wouldn't you go to college? You should go to college Claire, you should do everything you ever wanted to do and I shouldn't be holding you back" He stated and his shakes got worse but this time I couldn't help but let out an amused snort.

"Quil, I couldn't even get into College if I tried" I started but his frown creased further and he shook his head at me like he didn't understand. "I never graduated high school; I didn't even go to school after I was like 16. Quil I cannot go to college, nor have I ever really wanted to go, that was Max's dream not mine. Just like I have never wanted to leave America, maybe I want to go to places like Florida, or Texas or something but I want to go there on vacation not travelling. We could go together, and in case you didn't notice, Emily tried me with wine like two nights ago and I nearly puked after one sip, I don't like alcohol and so you never have to worry about me hitting the clubs" I tried joking about the club bit by swaying my shoulders in dance but he just stared at me. I was telling the truth, I am a home bird, I never want to leave this place or him.

"But" He started but I cut him off by crawling into his lap, his arms automatically reached around my waist and pulled me closer.

"But nothing Quil. I never wanted any of that. My dream growing up was to find somewhere I could call home, find my family and someone who I could love and who would love me, and be alive and happy. And in case you haven't noticed, I have done all of that. So that's my dream done, accomplished. This is where I want to be, and I feel like I spend the majority of my damned life telling you this so please just do not get into this again?" I pleaded as I spoke the whole truth, his face brightened as I did and his shakes calmed down to only a slight tremor but I think that was due to me being so close to him than anything else.

"So you never had a dream job or dream school to go to?" He asked finally and I let out a huge sigh off boredom at his constant worrying. He was a worrier. Imagine what he would be like with kids, our kids, he wouldn't even let them on a set of swings without worrying over all the dangers of it first. Our kids that was a nice thought. They would be cute, curly hair like this, actually if they had everything like his that would be perfect. I was getting distracted here, but it was a good distraction.

I thought about his question and I guess there was a dream job, but that was something I could never do because I couldn't nor did I want to go to college. "I guess I would like to be something like Sarah was to me, a counsellor of sorts, but I don't know. I'm happy with what I have right now, if we could never leave this very spot I would be perfectly happy with that" I turned my face up to his and offered him my cheesiest smile I could master. His seriousness faded instantly and he let out a chuckle before rubbing his nose against my cheek.

"You suck, it's impossible to be annoyed around you you know that?" He barked playfully and kissed my blushing cheek. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't listen to Paul he's an asshole. I promise, truthfully that I will stop worrying so much about stuff" He put his hand across his heart and his voice was truthful, I know he would try damned hard, but whether he would succeed was another story.

"Can we go home now?" I asked, although it felt weird saying home because I guess we didn't have one, we were staying at Emily's. Quil stayed with me every night, squashed on the little pink bed. Although it was home, it wasn't our home. I didn't feel like a guest but I didn't feel completely right there either. But for now it would do because as long as I was with Quil I was ok.

I stood up and held my hand out waiting for Quil to latch on but he didn't, I turned to him and he was comically trying to scramble to his feet. "Come on old guy, I got you" I teased as I held my hand out for him again and he slapped it away playfully.

"You gave me a dead leg you lump" He called out as he finally found his footing but he was a little shaky, I let out a giggle at the sight of him hobbling and I latched myself onto his arm.

"Oh look you have a grey hair, how old are you again? 50?" I teased even more while rooting around the lush curls bouncing over his neck and he nudged me with his elbow, I definitely liked playful Quil more than serious Quil.

"I never thought I would get you back you know" He whispered as we walked up the darkening beach to the car, his hand was looped in mine and he suddenly diverted me from the path to the car to the path that led up to the cliffs. I loved it up there. I looked over at him, his eyes were twinkling and my heart fluttered at both his words and his beautiful face.

"Well you did, and now you're stuck with me" I replied firmly and he laughed.

"Hmm I suppose Emily was right all along, you gotta have faith that the things you love will find their way back to you" He was still whispering, I wasn't sure why but even his whisper sounded a little choked up so that could be a reason.

"I gotta have faith, I gotta have faith a faith a faith" I started singing the George Micheal song and shaking my hips as we walked up the pathway, I couldn't help it, it was one of those songs that you had to let out. My mom was a total George fan, it was embarrassing really, so I knew most songs which was even more embarrassing.

Quil sighed then chuckled, then sighed again before finally pulling me into a side hug. "Why can you never be serious?"

"Why can you never be anything but serious?" I asked back and he mulled over it for a moment before shrugging and continuing our walk, I had a point, he was always serious.

We walked in silence until we reached the top of the cliff and he turned to me, pulling me close to his chest and I buried my head in him. His woodsy scent washed over me and my body reacted to it instantly, I loved him, he had never out right told me it but I think he loved me too.

"Mmm definitely glad I have you back, you've made living so much better" He whispered into the top of my head and shivers ran through my spine, I liked cute romantic Quil even more than I liked playful Quil.

"Well you made me live so I'm glad I have you back in my life too. I don't know what I would have done if I had never found you. Well, I know what I would have done, but you know what I mean" I was speaking too fast, I felt nervous, like my stomach was in butterflies and I couldn't get my point across. As long as he knew how much he meant to me that was all that mattered.

"Promise me you'll never go anywhere?" He asked, his voice quivering with nerves and my throat closed over, all I could do was nod into his chest, why was I so nervous? It was like my body was sensing something. "Good, because I love you Claire, more than anything else in this whole world, I love you and I never want to lose you, or live another day without you"

My heart exploded, quite literally, it started thudding harder and harder in my chest and by this point my legs were like jelly. He just said it; he actually just said it outright and bluntly.

I shook my head back from his chest and stared up into his swirling eyes, he was amazing, he was beautiful and he was mine. "I love you too" Was all I could manage but it was enough because he came swooping down on my mouth in the deepest kiss I think he had ever given me. Fire seeped between our touching lips and his hands clutched desperately at my waist. All too soon he pulled back, but the fire remained, like it was scorching my lips to a point that it would never end, and I didn't want it to.

"So this is the part where they say 'and they lived happily ever after' right?" Quil grinned down, his breath tickled the end of my nose and I couldn't help but shiver from the feeling. My own smile lit up my face and I pulled my hands around his neck.

"Something like that" I whispered back, my hands tightened and I pulled him back down to my mouth, meeting the fire once again, but this time it was sweeter, this time it felt like I had confirmation that this feeling would last forever.

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**Epilogue will be up soon, thank you for all your support and don't stop now. **

**Let me know what you want to see happen in the final chapter! **

**And review xxxx**


	33. Chapter 33

_**Epilogue**_

_**Five years later**_

"No I'm the best ballerina" Faith shouted as she stumbled up the pathway to the little red brick house that was set back against the trees.

"No my is ballweena Faithy my is balleweena" Hope screeched at her sister as she followed waving her hands in the air, I ran after but was knocked back by the wooden gate they both let swing shut behind them.

They were constantly arguing, at 2 and 4 they had the attitudes of 16 year olds and were at the point of being able to run rings around both their daddy and I. But we held strong and sometimes it actually felt like we were winning. _Sometimes _being the highlighted word there. I raced down the pathway after them and before I even had my house keys out of the door they had gone bounding through it and the patter of their feet faded off down the hallway but I could still hear the whinging argument over who was the best ballerina.

"Girls stop fighting" I called out praying it would work but the pained scream erupting from their bedroom told me otherwise. I ran off down the hallway and walked in on the usual scene, Hope, even though she was only two and extremely small was pining down her older sister and shoving her feet in her face.

"Hope what have I told you about hitting your sister" I warned her as I pulled her off and she stuck her bottom lip out before fluttering her eyelashes at me, she had picked this up from me, it was my way of getting around her father and I had to say it looked cuter on her.

"But Unca Embwy told my dat I can hit someone if dey are meany to Hope" She said innocently as ever and I instantly cursed Embry. He was teaching them all sorts of things that at their innocent ages they should not know. Just last week Faith told me that Embry told her that Paul had a willy on his head, I mean come on, who tells a 4 year old that? She had gone around for two days shouting that her Uncle Paul had willies on his face before we finally got her to shut up. People looked at me like I was an awful mother for teaching their daughter to practically call someone a dick head or make fun of gay guys, either way I had gotten a lot of dirty glares.

"Well Uncle Embry is going to get a time out if he carries on, now get changed before daddy gets home from work" I placed a kiss on her little head before pulling Faith to her feet.

"Uncle Embry told us we could hit Pauly in his balls because he told us we were annoying rats; can we still hit Uncle Pauly?" Faith asked, looking at me in interest and I nearly choked on my own breath at her words. Balls, he taught her to say balls.

"Tell you what; you can hit Uncle Embry in his balls next time you see him how about that?" I offered and they both nodded excitedly before running to their wardrobe to begin the next argument on who was wearing what. I just left them too it and walked back into the hallway, they were a nightmare, I think it was more the guys than them actually arguing, they taught them bad habits like fighting and insults and now they just used their new techniques on one another.

I laughed despite myself as I walked to the kitchen, they were funny, I shouldn't laugh at their use of naughty words but it was pretty entertaining. I dashed around the cupboards getting the ingredients for dinner out.

As I turned to lean against the kitchen counter my eyes fell on the fridge door, the variety of photos spread across it made me smile, each one was happy, each one brought a memory. I focused in on the first few, back from when Quil and I first were together.

We had gone through so much just to get to this point in our lives, just to get to a moment where we were peaceful and content, where there was no vampire drama, no threat of death, just us and our family. We moved in together not long before we had Faith, we had spent over a year living at Sam's, it was crowded and awkward and it was only when I found out I was pregnant that we found this little run down house that was so full of charm and love, we redecorated it, made it our own and now it was a beautiful little family home, full of warmth.

I remember the day we were decorating the living room, we left it to last and I had reached up to hang a picture when my water broke, Quil went nuts with worry. He thought I was dying, it took Emily and I half an hour to assure him it was just my waters. Hope came a year and a bit after Faith, she was a wedding night baby, her birth was less dramatic although Quil still acted as if it were the end of the world when I went into labour, he was actually banned from the birthing suite because he was so convinced something was wrong because it was taking longer than Faith's birth.

Amongst the pictures were photos of Max, and my parents. Max finished college and now coached professionally, he was engaged to a girl he started dating during his freshman year of college, safe to say he got his hot Florida girl.

My parents were a whole different story, they divorced three years ago. I should have been upset but I actually felt relieved, there was no love in their marriage, just lies and resentment from all the drama of my childhood. Dad moved to Chicago, he visited at Christmas and called on weekends, he had a new girlfriend, and she seemed nice enough. Mom moved back to the Makah reservation and opened up a day care place for the kids there, she wasn't dating but she was happy. Happier than I had ever seen her before, which was all I cared about.

Hung up below the pictures was a magazine clipping of the wedding cake Quil and I had chosen to get Emily to make, my fingers instantly locked around the ruby red diamond on my left ring finger. Quil had proposed to me after we had been together only 4 months, not that it mattered on the time, I was madly in love with him. We planned it all only to find out Faith was coming, and so we postponed it until when she was old enough to be a part of the wedding, so we planned it again for just after she was one and could stumble around. But then Hope happened, Quil came home from work one day, cuddled me and as he had done with Faith he just sensed it. It seemed to be a theme with these guys, they could smell something different about us when we were pregnant and so they were always the first to know. Anyway, Hope came along and now that she was two and could walk with Faith down the aisle we had planned it all over again, this summer we were getting married on the beach. And nothing would stop me from marrying my guy this time, I needed him as my husband, I was determined.

"No stupid, mommy said I was allowed to choose the DVD tonight" Faith yelled as the two little girls rounded on the kitchen and my peaceful five minutes was officially over.

I let out a groan at the never ending fighting and turned to look at my daughters, sure enough they were wearing clothes that I would never in my right mind put them in. Faith was fairly tall for her age, yet she still had chubby cheeks that even against her tanned skin were blushed all the time, her hair was long and fell right down the bottom of her spine, she refused to let it be cut, and she had the roundest brown eyes, they were huge and shiny, she was beautiful. However her outfit was not. She had put herself in her plastic dress up high heels, her hair was in a frantic mess around her face while she wore her princess pyjama top with red and white striped tights. Not to mention the necklaces and bracelets strewn on her little body. Then there was Hope, she was tiny, she was such a dainty little thing I worried sometimes she would break, I mean she still had baby rings on her arms from her chubby-ness but she was still tiny. Her hair was lighter than Faith's and fell only just passed her shoulders and was curly rather than straight like Faiths. She got Quil's hair for sure. Her outfit was even worse; she had on a swimsuit, with a baseball cap that sat backwards on her little head and her denim jacket over the top of her swimsuit, and her trainers on her feet. I worried about them sometimes, I think Embry dropped them when they were babies or they were hanging out with him too much. Either way they were off their rockers.

"No my want to choose it. My tell daddy on you" Hope hit back at her sister and I rushed in to break them up.

"Right, I'm choosing a DVD. I want you to put Beauty and the beast on please Faith" I told them before scooting them toward the living room. "And sit on separate sofas" I called out suddenly realising they couldn't be remotely close to one another without wanting to murder each other. I hung by the door for a second, listening out for any sign of a struggle or an argument but none came and soon enough the Disney music blasted out from the TV.

* * *

"Where's daddy?" Hope asked as I curled up in between there little beds in their room. I glanced up at their princess clock, 7.45pm. I had no idea, many of the guys had stopped phasing at this point, it was only Embry, Seth, Collin and Brady who phased along with new younger pack members but they all still attended monthly tribal meetings to go over any new issues. But the meetings usually finished by 7 due to the wives and children waiting at home. He was never usually late. And both his children seemed unable to hide their annoyance at his lateness.

"Well he's missing the story" Faith complained as she rolled over sucking her thumb. All I could do was shrug back at her in apology; I really had no idea where he was. Quil always did the bedtimes stories because he was so much more creative than me, I couldn't tell stories.

"Can you sing mommy?" Hope looked up at me, her eyes wide with hope, however stupid that sounded; she looked hopeful that I would. They liked it when I sang even though I wasn't very good, I had tortured their father for years now and still they liked it when I sang.

"Only a little song" I replied and settled further down between them, watching as they snuggled into their beds and let their eyes droop from tiredness. They were both so like their daddy, just the way I wanted them; they were perfect like him. I leant my head back against the wall behind me and let the words come out of my mouth without thinking about what song it was.

"I dive into frozen waves, where the past comes back to life, and fight fear for the selfish pain it was worth it every time. Hold still right before we crash because we both know how this ends, a clock ticks till it breaks your glass and I drown in you again. You are a piece of me, I wish I didn't need, chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why. If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy, if your loves insanity why are you my clarity?" I stopped, glancing across at them both as they snored into their pillows. That was quick, fair play I did that faster than Quil did it. The song still sang in my head, Clarity by Zedd, I wasn't sure why I loved this song I just did. It always made me think back to the shit I went through with Quil to get to this point in our lives. All the pain and heartache, all the insanity just to get to this place in my life where it all seemed totally worth it. I would go through it all again just to make sure I got to this very spot in my life where I could sit with my family and be happy.

"You're going to deafen our daughters if you carry on" A soft voice whispered from the doorway and I glanced up to see Quil poking his head around the door. He was smirking at me, his twinkling eyes took my breath away in an instance and I couldn't look anywhere but at him.

"I wouldn't have to deafen our children if you arrived on time for bedtime stories Mr Ateara" I whispered back knowing he could still hear me. He grinned and cocked his head to the side in defeat, I won. His fault I was 'torturing' our children.

"Paul stole my car keys and forgot where he put them" He whisper shouted back but neither girl even flinched from the sound, they were flat out. I had to laugh at the Paul comment, it was so typical, the guy was pushing his forties and he still acted like one of the kids.

I stood up from the squashed place on the floor, how Quil managed to fit in the little gap each night was beyond me but it was stupidly uncomfortable. I creeped over to the door and flicked the light off before following Quil down to the kitchen where his dinner was waiting.

"And they were on top form tonight" I commented as I reached into the fridge for a can of coke for Quil as he sat at the table.

"Fighting again?" He groaned and I grunted in reply. "I blame Embry, he winds them up against one another" He stated simply before chewing down on his dinner.

"We blame Embry for everything, I think we are mean to him" I considered as I chucked the can to him and sat myself up on the counter. Quil shot me a look and I realised that Embry was to blame for everything so we quite rightly blamed him. He taught them all sorts of bad habits, we hoped he would calm down when he met Laura, he hadn't imprinted but they were so close they should have, but even then she couldn't get him to tone down the bad influence he had on most of the kids in the pack. He would goad them all so much they ended up fighting just because he found it hilarious to watch someone as small as Hope beat up a much bigger Faith or Bobby.

Within seconds the dinner in front of Quil was gone and he stood up to put his plate in the sink, he hovered for a second by the radio and flicked a CD on. I smiled as I knew what was coming, he did this most nights, and he would spin me into dance with him when we finally got a child free hour.

"Something in your eyes makes me want to lose myself, makes me want to lose myself in your arms" The song drifted over the kitchen and I giggled.

He turned to me, smirking as the wedding dance song we had chosen came on, Edwina Hayes Feels like home, it was perfectly our song. I hadn't ever heard it until Quil came running in with this CD. He had been working on some woman's car and this was in her stereo, so naturally he stole it. His reasoning had been that it was the perfect song for us and I had to agree.

"Mmm lets rehearse our wedding dance" I said quietly as I jumped from the counter and waited for him to waltz to me.

"There's something in your voice makes my heartbeat fast, hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life, if you knew how lonely my life has been and how long I've been so alone, and if you knew how I wanted someone to come along and change my life the way you've done. It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me, feels like I am all the way back where I come from, it feels like home to me, it feels like home to me, feels like I am all the way back where I belong" The song went on and I sung quietly with it as Quil made his way to me and he wrapped his arms around my body holding me tightly to his as he began swaying.

"I missed you today" He whispered into the crook of my neck as he kissed along my skin sending fiery shivers through me, he still had that effect of me, he made my knees go weak with a simple kiss.

"I missed you too, but I found the perfect bridesmaids dresses for the girls in town" I whispered back into his chest as we swayed but he suddenly stopped, his body going deadly still as his head lay on my shoulder. "What?" I asked, had I said something wrong? I pulled back to look at him and he was staring down at me slightly paler than he should be. What had I done?

"How would you feel about postponing the wedding again?" He asked his voice slow and a little off. I just shook my head, I didn't understand what he meant, why would we put it off again?

"I would say hell no" I replied and shook him slightly as the colour flooded back to his cheeks and his eyes snapped from my torso to my eyes. A small smile played his lips for a second and he scooped me back into his arms and squeezed me against his chest.

"Then I'm sorry but I don't think you have a say" He was excited about something, I could hear it in his voice and I tired looking up at him but he launched a huge kiss on my mouth. He pulled away again quickly and his hand curled around to my stomach. De ja vu hit me and along with it came realisation, this is exactly what had happened twice before. Shitting hell. No way. I was not.

"Quil" I started but stopped, I couldn't be, I mean I could be, but I couldn't be.

"We are having a baby" He whispered against my lips and a river of excitement ran through me, I should be pissed I mean I had organised the damned wedding for precisely 6 months away but I was too damn happy. I was pregnant again. Another little bit of Quil inside of me, another mini Quil would be running around this little house.

I launched myself into his arms and wrapped my legs around his torso. How had I not noticed, I mean it wasn't fair he knew first all the time? But then again he always seemed too noticed like way before any periods had even been missed. A huge attack of kisses fell onto my neck and Quil started spinning me around as the music droned on in the background.

"I love you so much Claire" He whispered against my neck again and a new wave of tingles crawled over my skin sending a deep shudder through me as his husky voice and warm touch.

"I love you more"

* * *

My hand clutched at Quils as we stood in the marquee the guys had set up on the beach, an elation of happiness was overwhelming me as we stood hand in hand officially husband and wife. Quil's free hand came up to rub my stomach as he kissed my lips, the touch of his skin on mine sent a wave of love through me and the little boy inside my stomach kicked out against his daddy's hand causing Quil to laugh.

"Ok little dude, I'll leave mommy alone" He leant down and spoke to my swollen belly. I was 7 months pregnant and after getting over the initial shock and elation of the pregnancy I finally refused to postpone the wedding and so it went ahead as planned, the only difference being I was slightly bigger than expected and so I had to buy a new dress. This one however, was just as beautiful as the original. It was tight around my boobs, which were now fairly bigger than usual and so as Rachel put it, I had killer cleavage, then the torso and train of the white dress flowed out elegantly around my stomach and a lace and diamond pattern lay around my waist band offering design to the simple dress. It was perfect.

"Who would have thought it eyy" I turned at the voice, Sam, Jake, Paul, Embry and Jared were stood in front of us, their woman hugged against their sides as we all watched the kids run around the dance floor. It was Sam who spoke. "I never thought I would see this moment with you two, you had to be the most difficult couple ever" He looked around for support and everyone nodded, Laura knew about the wolves and heard our story and so she nodded too.

"Yeah you guys were so annoying, up and down, up and down" Paul added in and everyone nodded again. They were right, we had been a nightmare.

"But you got there in the end, and I am so happy for you" Emily squealed jumping up and down against Sam.

I knew everyone was excited for this day, to finally seal the day saving me from any more of Quil's freak outs over whether he should be with me or whether he was holding me back. Which although he had promised to stop, he hadn't. He carried on even right up until I had Hope, after her he sort of stopped, instead he took on the role of over worrying about every detail. Was the bath water too hot for the girls? Were they ill when all they had was a little sniffle, were the swings in the back garden safe for them, was I ok being home with them all day, did I feel he was ignoring me for work. It was never ending. At one point the guys had duct taped his mouth shut after a trip to the beach with all the kids turned into a health and safety inspection.

"Any names yet?" Kim piped up and nodded at my belly, they were all making jokes that it would be something stupid like freedom, or strength. Because apparently Hope and Faith were stupid names, but they were perfect for Quil and I no matter what anyone else said because it symbolised everything we had gone through.

"YOLO wasn't it?" Embry piped up and I turned to slap him but Laura got there first, aiming a perfect blow to his stupid head. She glared at him and he shut up immediately, I knew I always liked this girl. It was freaky, they should be imprinted she was perfect for him. But then again, imprinting didn't always mean everything, which is what us girls told her when she freaked out about not being an imprint. They were perfect for each other and imprint or not it was obvious they belonged together.

"No, we were thinking of Embry junior" I said firmly, Quil looked down at me in question and Embry jumped around and his face lit up.

"Really?" He asked, he sounded like a kid in a candy shop.

"NoPe" Popping the P I winked at him and his shoulders deflated like a balloon while everyone else started laughing at the amount of excitement he had held for the tiniest second.

I looked around at my family, the kids were all wrestling on the dance floor, while the older kids sat around as if embarrassed to be seen at a family wedding, then there were my parents who were awkwardly making conversation with one another and Max. Then I glanced at my little girls, they were perfect just like everything else.

I had once never thought I would get to this stage of life, I once never thought I would live past my teens and all because of the guy next to me I had lived and lived a wonderful life. I was happier than I could ever imagine being and I felt more loved than I ever had done before. Quil's arms came around me again, wrapping tightly and protectively over our little son in my stomach. Little Quil, he wanted an original name but Quil was original and it ran in his family so Quil Benjamin Ateara it was. He started kicking against my stomach like crazy and I chuckled at the feeling, he liked his name.

"I love you Mrs Ateara" Quil whispered into my ear before kissing my temple softly and I led my head against his chest.

We started off as such a mess, broken and depressed but we had grown into something so much more, truthfully we still had our days where nothing went to plan and we were a rushed heap of problems. But we were a beautiful mess, and no matter how hectic life got or how much screaming happened between the girls, I was home, Quil was my home and I would live happily ever after as long as he was there living it with me.

"I know where babies come from" The screech of Faith brought me from my internal happiness and I glanced at Quil, following his gaze across the marquee to where Faith, Hope, Bobby who was now around 7 and a few other little kids were gathered. Oh god, please don't say anything Faith, please say the stork or a baby shop or something cute for your age.

"I know where my little brother came from I do, he came from my daddy's willy" She screeched so loud everyone turned to look and a few amused laughs let up from the table of pack guys to my left. Quil started coughing as if choking at what his daughter had just come out with and I had to say my breath was caught to.

Oh god. Did she just say that? I looked back up at Quil and we both snapped our heads to the guy filled table automatically. Our eyes finding the person responsible. The bastard. I am going to kill him.

"EMBRY"

* * *

**Awwww, well this is where it ends. I had such a good time writing this story and hearing off you guys. Be sure to leave your final comments and tell me how you liked it and your fave parts etc :D **

**The songs were Clarity by Zedd as requested and Feels like home by Edwina Hayes as requested by you guys :D **

**So every time you hear those songs think of this story :D Check out my others as well. And I hope you liked A Beautiful Mess. Thank you for reading and being patient through the last few weeks of stressfulness :D **

**Truth about love and nowhere left to run will be updated tomorrow for all my readers on here!**

**xxxx**


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